Dealing with bad news

One-in-a-million

I feel I've taken this news quite well considering how sensitive and close to my family I am.

My nan has been diagnosed with cancer and we have been told the most they can do is slow it down but we don't know how long for.
She could be here for years but it could also only be months.

I'm obviously extremely heartbroken over this and I don't know if not knowing how long is good or not! It does give me hope that she may be here for a good few years yet, but not knowing that is scary.

My nan has had cancer before and beat it, she also had another cancer scare but they caught it straight away. Why is the world so cruel. There are some evil people (murders abusers ect) and they get to walk around free. My nan has never done no harm to no one and does her best to help those she can and she gets a life sentence. I know I shouldn't feel like that but I do!
I've been honest with my family in saying I was upset over this, however I haven't told them about braking down at work as soon as I stepped inside. My deputy manager saw me and calmed me down and also asked if I needed to go home.

But I work 1-2-1 with children who have indevidual needs plus I felt Work would be a distraction and it is!

But how do I cope with not knowing how long my beautiful nan will be here?
I know nothing is going to change how I feel but is there anyway to ease the pain?

I'm also trying to help a friend who has just broke up with her bf due to domestic abuse. For reasons I can not tell on here, I'm the only person she can turn to. But what use am I to her when I already feel like shit!

Former Member

Hey @One-in-a-million,

Well done for posting here about this. Really sorry to hear about your nan's diagnosis; it must be so tough on you and the family. It is scary not knowing how long she'll be around, and it's normal to feel upset and angry about this happening to one of your loved ones. As much as we'd like to we can't control who these things happen to or when they happen. You're doing really well though to talk about how you're feeling with your family. Did you speak to anyone at work about it? Work can often be a distraction from what's going on, but it's also important that you ask for the support and/or time out that you might need for yourself :yes:

There is an organisation called Hope Support, for those affected by a family members' diagnosis. It isn't going to be easy, but there is support out there as well as being with your family, which can help you get through this.

It's really nice of you to be there for your friend too. Perhaps you can both be there for each other and do things together to take your mind off of things? It is important you look after yourself too.

We're here if you want to talk some more *hug*

One-in-a-million

Thank you for replying raich,
Reading back theough what I wrote, I obviously wouldn't wish this on anyone, it just doesn't seem fair 😔

I've spoken to my deputy manager who has been very helpful and understanding. I haven't yet told the manager and I don't know wether to tell her or see how things go and tell her if and when I feel as if I need time out. It's really weird as one day/ moment I seem fine and actually feel and carrying on like normal like nothing has happened and the next I feel like this..... 😔

I know we need to carry on as normal as she could still be here for a good few years yet. But it seems so selfish, my nan and everyone else seems to have just taken the news and is carrying on like nothing is going to happen.
But I suppose that like me they feel ok sometimes and then really upset other times?

Thank you for mentioning thw hope support I've never heard of it before and I will look into it.

I have just spoken to one of my friends (not the one I mentioned) about it and well she didn't know what to say she listened which is all I wanted although I do feel guilty as this friend has also got some stuff going on as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply to me