Sister has depression - what do I do

Former Member

I am 17 years old, my sister is a year older. She has been suffering with depression for a few years but i was only really made aware of it this past year, as she has been more and more stressed about school which obviously had an effect. To top things off, recently she broke up with her boyfriend. And since then she has been turning to drink to make her problems go away (this was happening before the break up but not as bad.) I just don't know what to say because she feels guilty all the time, that she's a disappointed etc despite the fact my parents are always kind and supportive. I want to help her but at the sane time, I feel like I need to focus on myself a bit. I know that's selfish. What should I do? She is seeing a councillor and is on medication but says its no help.

JustV

Hey Piasmith,

First off, welcome to the community! :wave: Great to see you posting. It's brave of you to reach out to us here.

Just to let you know, I moved your thread from Anything Goes to Health & Wellbeing where it fits a little better.

It can be really difficult when someone we care about is struggling so much, especially with something we can't quite understand or empathise with fully, ourselves. I've been a little on both sides of this coin, so I feel like I can relate somewhat. I know the helpless feeling and frustration hit me pretty hard when someone close to me was really struggling.

One of the most powerful things that can be done for anyone in a bad place is simply to be there to listen - something often underestimated. Oftentimes (although I can't speak for your sister, of course), people aren't looking for a solution or practical advice, but rather just someone that they know they can talk openly to and trust. It sounds like she's working through things in her own way with the help of meds and professional support, so try not to put that pressure on yourself to be doing the 'right' thing. Instead, you may find that the best thing for her (and also least taxing for you) is simply to be there.

I wonder if you've asked her what you can do to best support her? Sometimes when we don't know and feel a little lost, asking can be the best way to find the information we're looking for.

Furthermore, how are you feeling in all this? Needing to focus on yourself is something we should all have somewhere in our minds, and isn't in the least bit selfish. Supporting someone else can be really difficult at times, and it's important that you're getting the care you need as well. After all, you can't pour from an empty cup, right?

Former Member

Hello Piasmith,

Welcome to The Mix community and well done for being incredibly brave by opening up about this. :yippe:

Firstly i would like to say that you seem like such an amazing sister, so caring, thoughtful and just so kind which is very lovely to hear - this sounds like an incredibly tough situation to be in and i completely agree with @Mike when he says that through these difficult times you need to look after yourself as well so have you got anyone you can talk to during this dark time?

Just let her know that you are there for her, be patient with her and always offer to listen because listening is sometimes all we need to get through such hard times; just keep being the amazing sister that you are.

Keep on talking if it helps, we are always here.

Jessica *hug*