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I'm feeling bad again
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently I've been getting depressed again, and i don't feel like i can tell anyone. I just feel so alone :crying:
Last year was when i last felt this way. I was self harming, and I told my friend because she had been through it before and i felt she would understand. When i did tell her she said i was doing it for attention, I was pathetic and that I "wasn't doing it right". This made me feel even worse about myself, like, she had been through it and even she had turned against me?! I managed to stop myself self harming in February. However i still felt really bad about myself. Then my other friend started going through it, and she was getting suicidal and i felt i had to support her...it's what anyone would do right? Then, i went and told her (when she was feeling better again) yet she acted exactly the same way as my other friend, telling me i was pathetic, doing it for attention etc. etc. I felt so unsupported and so alone. Finally i had had enough and i felt like i had to tell the school. I told a teacher who sent me to the school counselor. I saw her once,and then forgot to go and see her the second time and i never heard from her again (yet another person who doesn't care). The school also called my parents to tell them to make a GP appointment and they said they would...that never happened. After this i never heard anything from the school or my parents about this issue again...
Overall...no one cares so what's the point in even telling anyone anyway?
So with my depression coming back, it's worse, though i have managed to not self harm, even though the urges to are terrible, like they're really really bad. I have thoughts about killing myself but don't want to...the thoughts just keep coming into my head. Every little thing upsets me, even if it's someone being mean as a joke my brain just automatically goes "There is some truth behind it. They wouldn't have said it if they didn't think it was a tiny bit true." And my brain just replays every single bad thing anyone has ever done to me...like they're really intrusive and they're always there.
I dont know what to do! I'm so scared, i just want someone to care :crying: please can someone help me?
Last year was when i last felt this way. I was self harming, and I told my friend because she had been through it before and i felt she would understand. When i did tell her she said i was doing it for attention, I was pathetic and that I "wasn't doing it right". This made me feel even worse about myself, like, she had been through it and even she had turned against me?! I managed to stop myself self harming in February. However i still felt really bad about myself. Then my other friend started going through it, and she was getting suicidal and i felt i had to support her...it's what anyone would do right? Then, i went and told her (when she was feeling better again) yet she acted exactly the same way as my other friend, telling me i was pathetic, doing it for attention etc. etc. I felt so unsupported and so alone. Finally i had had enough and i felt like i had to tell the school. I told a teacher who sent me to the school counselor. I saw her once,and then forgot to go and see her the second time and i never heard from her again (yet another person who doesn't care). The school also called my parents to tell them to make a GP appointment and they said they would...that never happened. After this i never heard anything from the school or my parents about this issue again...
Overall...no one cares so what's the point in even telling anyone anyway?
So with my depression coming back, it's worse, though i have managed to not self harm, even though the urges to are terrible, like they're really really bad. I have thoughts about killing myself but don't want to...the thoughts just keep coming into my head. Every little thing upsets me, even if it's someone being mean as a joke my brain just automatically goes "There is some truth behind it. They wouldn't have said it if they didn't think it was a tiny bit true." And my brain just replays every single bad thing anyone has ever done to me...like they're really intrusive and they're always there.
I dont know what to do! I'm so scared, i just want someone to care :crying: please can someone help me?
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