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Good idea or not?

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 598 Incredible Poster
Hi guys Ive been quite open about this recently on the boards but ill give a small snippet of what my story is

Basically in school I was dealing with bullying from the word go in 2010/2011 I was still being bullied but they gad started sexually bullying and harassing me such as crude comments about me and my body. And physically touching me even after I said "no" or "stop"

This had a bad effect on me as a whole
I started feeling sick at the thought of going school, hated myself and my body, lost my appetite, didn't want to go out, stayed in my room as much as I could and cried myself to sleep. Even had thoughts of suicide

In other words I was a mess. When I did tell, they dealt with the bullying and got it stopped but no one asked how I felt or if I was ok and I wasn't.
I got consoling at college after having a brake down when a tutor seemed to notice that I didn't look and seem happy/ok and asked me about it.

Moving forward I have got back my control I feel more confident within myself and lots more happier.

Recently I have been thinking apart from being scared the other reason I couldn't get help straight away is because I wasn't aware of what was going on. Maybe if someone was to talk to me/us wether it be a teacher or someone in my shoes I might have felt it easier to talk.
When being taught about bullying we are/were taught about;

Physical i.e kicking, punching, pushing ect
Verbal i.e name calling and comments ect

But not sexual no one taught us that this type of bullying existed, how to recognise it and deal with it.

I was thinking about perhaps going in to local schools and talk about the issue and what to do. I was thinking of maybe telling my story so that if there was anyone there they that are being bullied, they would be able to see they can beat it and overcome what's happened.

I would also hope that it might make anyone who is bullying someone to re-think this and realise it's not a joke and the effect it can have on someone is devastating.

It could also open teachers eye to see that dealing with bullying and getting the bully to stop might only be half a job and that that pupil might need some support after what's happened.

I would lastly hope that it would also lift the stereotype of gender bullying and open peoples eyes to the fact

Anyone can be bullied regardless of their gender
Anyone can be the bully also regardless of gender

What do you guys think? Is this a good idea or is the subject to sensitive for pupils (high school)


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'd have to find schools in which the teachers care about the pupils. At my school, teachers told victims of bullying: "fight your own battles". Victims were also told by the teachers not to tell anyone outside the school about the bullying they suffered - because what was most important was maintaining the school's (supposed) good name.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi! Thanks for posting, I'm sorry that you went through this.
    I think it's a great idea! Good for you! Maybe you could pair up with a charity or someone who has had a similar exeperiance?
    Good luck, let us know how you get on if you do decide to do it :)
  • Cat88Cat88 Posts: 377 Listening Ear
    Hi! I agree you'd have to find the right schools but this sounds like a great idea - I can imagine loads of young people would benefit from hearing from someone who has been through it.

    As Murphy has suggested, another way to approach this, that might help you get into schools or youth groups, could be to reach out to some anti-bullying charities and see if they already have initiatives you could get involved with, for example Ditch the Label, BulliesOut or Kidscape - and I'm sure there are others. This might just help you have more power to get into places where you can help :)

    Do let us know how you get on!
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 598 Incredible Poster
    Hi guys thanx for your replies and ideas.

    I must say I am a little shocked in how some schools deal with bullying I do agree they do not always deal woth it effectively but to tell victims of bullying to fight their own battles is disgusting.

    I like the idea of teaming up with a charty to do this is sounds like a grate idea.

    This is not a plan yet as for now I kinda work during school hours :) but a possibility for the future. It's nice to get veiws on topics like this before going into something.

    I hope this os something I will be able to do

    Thanks guys
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another thing that the teachers at my school said was that it was a good thing to be a victim of bullying because "it's character building; it helps toughen you up". The real reasons for their inaction was that they were lazy and didn't care. The teachers didn't even do anything when pupils used violence against other pupils in the classroom in front of them.
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    It's a very good idea to talk about your experience!!! Such inspiration! I would encourage anyone online and offline to report it. Can't stress it enough I WANT TO GET IT OUT THERE also IT IS NOT OK
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi One-in-a-million,

    I am so sorry for what happened to you, I can relate to how you are feeling. I was bullied verbally in school for 5 years, and I don t know how I found the strength to go in school everyday with that happening. Thinking back, I feel so much anger for all of my old teachers who saw that happening but did nothing about it. I reported it to my class tutor, and he brushed it off saying I should t believe what they were saying, I had to threaten them that I was not going to school anymore to make them take action! Once I graduated from high school, I never went back to visit. Although I have had some happy moments there, there were so many bad moments due to the bullying, that I am afraid of bringing those memories back. I totally agree with you, there should be support for the victim, some people underestimate how much it affects the victim emotionally. I don't know whether staff in schools nowadays receive training on bullying but they definitely should!:impissed:
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 598 Incredible Poster
    hey guys so sorry for a late reply

    ​Steve- I am really shocked in how your school dealt with bullying :O especially saying that bullying is good. And how they can say bullying can toughen you up is beyond me as it took me years to gain trust in others around me again after what had happened and to be quite honest if my school had done nothing and told me to fight my own battles, I honestly think it would have remained a secret to this day and I would still be hiding away, scared to be out and not be able to trust anyone.

    Lost-Sense I'm glad you like the idea and you are right it does happen online as well and it is not ok EVER!

    Hope93- I'm sorry that you can relate to how I felt as I was at my lowest point back then. I understand the feeling of dragging your way into school with the weight of what was happening dragging you down. my tutor saw what was happening but didn't react. it was so obvious he saw how they kept touching me as he looked me straight in the eyes (it looked like it anyway,) it horrible that you had to threaten then with not going to school before they would take action. I remember every time it happened I would look round in hope someone would stop them but they never did. I guess it was like I was silently screaming HELP ME!
    It's easy for teachers to say don't believe them but after a while of being constantly told you're ....... it stick with you and eventually that's how you start to see yourself.

    I think teacher don't seem to realise how emotionaly damaging bullying is. they seem to stop the bullying and then expect everything to be fine. unfortunately that not how it goes. even if they couldn't afford to put teachers through that kind of training there should be someone at the school to help student emotianly no matter whats going on. I never really got the help I needed until college and because my teacher didn't know how to help she pointed me in the direction I needed (college counsollors)

    sometimes I wonder wether the school didn't help me in this ways because of the legal action I could take (I only found out at college) not that I would to be honest.

    anyway thanks once again guys :)

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