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Friend wants sex much more often than his partner does

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A friend of mine (not either of the two who are the subjects of other threads I began) has a high sex drive and wants to have sex every day. His partner has a low sex drive and is only willing to have sex once a month. She's unwilling to compromise, so they only have sex once a month. He's very frustrated and unsatisfied by this. She says "once a month is plenty for anyone" and he's "being greedy" by asking for and wanting sex more frequently than that. She says that sex is only a tiny, unimportant, optional part of a relationship and that he should be grateful to her that she's letting him have sex with her at all.

He suggested to her that a good solution would be for him to have sex with someone else as well. She was very angry with him for saying that and told him that he shouldn't even be thinking about having sex with anyone else. She said that if he has - or even tries to have - sex with anyone else, she will immediately and permanently end the relationship.

I'd like to give him useful advice. However, when he recently told me about this problem of his, I couldn't think of a possible solution. Do any of you have any ideas? Have any of you been in a situation that was similar to this?


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Steve,

    It sounds like a tricky situation, but I think the best solution would be to find a compromise of some sort. Personally, I think having sex once a month is too little, but this is just my opinion, other people's opinions might differ. I don t think telling her that the only solution would be having sex with someone else is a clever move. As this is a delicate subject, I would approach it differently, for example finding out why she has a low sex drive... there could be many reasons! :chin: However, seeing that they both have different needs, it is going to be difficult to reach a solution that they both agree on, so if he s not happy, he should think of breaking up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As I said, she's unwilling to compromise.

    Considering her stubborn refusal to have sex more than once a month, having sex with someone else as well was the only solution he could think of.

    She doesn't acknowledge the fact that she has a low sex drive. She's arrogant and she always has to have her way with everything. She says that she has an average sex drive and that it's he who has an abnormal sex drive.

    He told me that someone else suggested that he split from his partner and have a relationship with a girl with a high sex drive. However, my friend said that he had a similar problem in all of his previous relationships - none of them wanted sex anywhere near as often as he did. There's also the difficulty, stress, financial cost etc. that he would suffer by starting - or trying to start - a new sexual relationship. In some cases, he's wined and dined girls yet not even got to the stage of holding hands, let alone having a sexual relationship with them. Some girls have told him that they want to be "friends first", then have that later lead to a sexual relationship. However, for him, that actually was a route to the friend zone.

    Prior to meeting his partner, he joined a dating site. In order to try to find a girl who loves frequent sex, he wrote on his profile that he has a high sex drive and wants a girl who also has a high sex drive. During over a year of being a member, no-one initiated contact with him. He sent messages to about 400 girls. The vast majority didn't reply to him. Those who did reply called him a pig, user, creep, pervert etc. One of them told him that he's a worthless piece of shit and that he should hang himself. Is there another method by which he can limit his search to girls who have a high sex drive? Where can he find girls who also want sex every day?
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