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I'm not sure what should I do.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, my name is Simon. On 31st August I'll turn 16. I live in London, but I'm Polish. I ran away from my country because people didn't accept me the way I am (gay atheist). That's why I suspect I suffer from depression and anxiety. I live with my mother, sister, her fiance and her daughter. I feel like I'm only a problem for them. I drink, I smoke, I swear, although I'm a very good student and a nice person if I'm getting along with someone. Sometimes I just can't live with people, as they're irritating me in every way possible.
I don't feel good. I know that I should love myself and the way I am, but although my family tells me that they don't care about me smoking or drinking, I still feel guilty. I still feel like worthless ballast. I don't know what I should do. I'm trying to quit, but there's always a situation that will trigger a cigarette in my hand. I would like people to like me and accept me the way I am. I just can't live with people.

Comments

  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,207 Moderator
    Hi Simon, welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult and challenging time at the moment, especially because you've had to leave your country because you felt people didn't accept you. This must be really hard adjusting to a new country and your new life. How long has it been since you left your country?

    It sounds like you are living with a lot of people and for many individuals it can be difficult to live with others. Do you find it difficult having some time out to yourself in your house? For some people, having this time to themselves away from their family can really help. You said you often feel irritated, is there anything in particular that you can think of that triggers this? For some people talking to their family can also be helpful in resolving any issues - have you told your family how you feel?

    It sounds like there are some situations that are triggering you to smoke. Giving up smoking can be difficult, but there are some great support services out there. You can find out more about the support services offered by the NHS here. We also have a great article on The Mix website here.

    You have taken a great step forward in posting on this forum. Feel free to keep posting here and let us know how everything is going :)
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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