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I have no idea what's wrong with me. I've been doing perfectly fine for weeks and for the past few days I've felt truly awful, and it has completely debilitated me. I have no motivation, I don't want to leave the house or move from my "bed" (it's in inverted commas 'cause I've been sleeping on the couch). I was meant to be going to an LAC review this afternoon but now think I've knocked myself back even further by telling social work that I won't be going due to not feeling strong enough to deal with the stress. Prior to this I was doing really well- I felt motivated enough to leave the house, go shopping myself and was feeling hopeful about the future. I thought we'd be getting somewhere with social work now that my partner and I have a more stable life, but it's clear that isn't going to happen and it's completely demoralising. I'm beginning to wonder "what's the point in getting better if it doesn't change my situation?" Over the past few weeks, I've been on a bit of a mad spending spree, buying paint and household items for our new house etc. I've been motivated to paint, I've started volunteering, took in my partner's friend's dog (he couldn't keep him any more because his girlfriend is due to give birth and he's too hyperactive to be around a new born), but now I'm regretting all of these decisions. As a result it has caused arguments between my partner and I who thought I was "lying" to him when I said I wouldn't mind a dog. And I didn't mind a dog at the time, but due to this... emotional burnout... training a new puppy and keeping him away from our cat is so stressful and I don't think I can handle it. Additionally, because I've not been keeping an eye on money, it now means we have nothing left to buy my daughter a birthday present. I feel so guilty and awful for it and it's just confounding my belief that I'd be a shit mum 'cause I can't seem to control my emotions (either up or down). I feel absolutely exhausted and have no idea if it'll ever change (even though I've stopped my self destructive habits of drinking to excess, self harm etc.) My best just never seems to be good enough and I don't know what to do any more.