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How do you ask my oldest friend if she wants to have sex?
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Hi I'm looking for some advice. My oldest friend who's a girl- we've known each other since we were babies- is coming over next month. She lives in Brighton. I live in Nottingham so I rarely see her. It's going to be nice. I really like her. I'd say I have a crush on her. She's so hot. I don't know if she has a crush on me. Anyway we're planning to go out for some drinks at some point. It will be good to catch up. I'm hoping it may lead to something further. Would it be odd to ask her if she wants to have sex? How could I drop hints? Is there a special way to ask her? Also our parents will be in the house so I was wondering where we could do it if she's up to it. I'd really like some advice.
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Hi there @Roshyboy97 thanks for coming to the forums with your questions!
Meeting up with your long-time friend after rarely seeing one another sounds like a really exciting prospect! Catch ups can be a great time to figure out where you and your friends are mentally, emotionally, within your private lives, and even professionally!
You've identified that you have a crush on your friend, and are unsure if she feels the same way. Can you think of any ways you can communicate how you feel about her, without first mentioning that you want to have sex? Perhaps telling her how you feel about her will open up the conversation about how she feels about you? Once you've got the basics covered, it may be easier to move on to heavier topics, if you get what I mean?
Let me know what you think!
I think the best you can do is have a super good time and see if you can meet each other more frequently. The chances if there have never been any indication from her are practically nil.
What he's asking is if there's a way to find out for sure if she wants sex with him without actually asking her for it. As you say, if he asks her for sex and she doesn't want it, there will be negative consequences. They're lifelong friends and if she takes it badly she may end the friendship.
The one thing I can already advise you about is where to have sex. A hotel room or bed & breakfast would be good. However, she'd have to agree to having sex with you first. Bear in mind that your parents would know that you & her are away for the night. I don't know what their attitude towards that would be - or whether they would tell her parents and what their reaction might be.
I wouldn't straight on ask her whether she wants to have sex, its always best to be certain that she likes you too, to avoid an uncomfortable situation.Have you also thought about what sort of consequences it would have on your friendship? If two people like each other, sex will happen naturally, its not something you plan, it just happens. I agree with bouvier, I think you should first tell her how you feel about her, and see whether she feels the same, and start from there.
You haven't given Roshy an idea of what he should say to his friend. You advise him to tell her how he feels about her, but not to ask her if she wants sex with him. However, how he feels about her is that he wants to have sex with her - so you appear to be contradicting yourself. Can you explain this better, so that we can advise the OP better?
I have never planned a sexual encounter with anyone. How is your response helpful Steve? You are judging what I wrote, and as a matter of fact I expressed my opinion on what I would do in a situation like this. Im sure that if Roshy didn't find my response detailed enough he will let me know himself
Roshy isn't replying to anyone here. He's probably not found what we've said in this thread to be useful enough to him, which is why I suggested that we try harder to answer his question.
You've said that people will naturally have sex together if they like each other. However, most people don't have sex with the majority of people whom they like. Merely liking someone isn't usually enough. If it were, we'd all be having sex with many people - left, right and centre. We already know that Roshy and his friend like each other - they're lifelong friends. What we and he don't know is if she wants to have sex with him.
I regularly plan sex. I have sex at regular times on regular days with my sex buddy. I also occasionally have sex with other girls, which often isn't planned. Overall, on most of the occasions on which I have had sex it has been planned. If you don't plan things, what do you do about contraception, making sure no-one catches you etc.? When Roshy's friend visits, his parents and her parents will be in the house - so they'll probably have to plan where and when to have sex. I certainly wouldn't want both sets of parents being in earshot whilst I'm having sex with someone! Sex can't always be spontaneous and 'just happen' - in the case of Roshy and his friend it's unlikely to be that way. If sex had to be spontaneous, then most of the times I've had sex wouldn't have happened. I've had sex with girls I've met at parties. I wouldn't have had sex in the middle of the party with many people around. We needed to plan where we'd go to have sex - her place, my place or a room at the house where the party was taking place where we could be alone. Some people like or don't mind an audience watching them, but I much prefer to be alone with the girl during sex. The only time I want another person in the room during sex is when it's a threesome - and even then the third person has to be a hot girl.
From the title of his post, it appears that he intends to ask her for sex. The geographic distance between them prevents it from being a regular thing. He hasn't said how long she's going to be staying at his for, but it's probably going to be a matter of days. Therefore he has a limited amount of time to get to the point. He can't spend a few weeks beating around the bush.
It'd be useful if someone who's been in Roshy's situation told us how they dealt with it.