I need to move out but i'm not 18. Advice?

Former Member

I'm a 17 year old girl turning 18 in 3 months. I'm in full time education in sixth form and have a part time job but have suffered from an anxiety disorder for many years and battle with depression. My job pays for all my travel, occasional rent for my mother when i can afford it, my food (lactose intolerant meaning my food can be too expensive at times for my mother) and all my clothes, shoes, makeup and any trips/days out i have. At 13 i was forced to move from the flat i comfortably lived in with my mother as she struggled with a breakdown and has since been on long term sickness. The flat we have lived in since is much smaller with a community that i feel uncomfortable around due to my anxiety and also meant my cat who helped calm me had to be re-homed due to the no pets rule. I can't stand living here any longer, it has caused insomnia and my anxiety is getting worse despite years of therapy, meaning my panic and anxiety attacks are increasingly more frequent. I need to move out, have my own place where i can deal with my health as my mother does not understand the severity of my struggle as she has her own health to consider and often makes it worse as she has days where her own depression is a problem. I don't know what to do as my part time job does not pay enough to support my own place on top of my everyday needs even if i was old enough to rent, i'm willing to change jobs and get a shared tenancy with a 19 year old friend (a legal way for a minor to rent) however we do not know how to go about this and i don't know what support i can receive. I wish i could wait until i turn 18 but you have to understand that this situation is jeopardizing my exam grades,my friendships, relationship and my own mental and physical states. Has anyone got any help or advice for me? It would be greatly appreciated.

Former Member

Hi Bex-Jean, :wave:

Welcome to The Mix discussion boards, thanks for posting this thread, it sounds like a difficult situation to be in, you're doing really well to look for some help for yourself with this.

You were saying that you need to move out from where you're living at the moment, that you're having anxiety attacks and insomnia and its getting worse. You were saying that you're not sure what to do because your part time job doesn't pay enough to support your own place on top of your every day needs even if you were old enough to rent but that you're willing to change jobs and get a shared tenancy with a 19 year old friend but that you don't know how to go about doing this. Could you let us know a little bit more about the kind of help and support are you looking for?

You also mentioned that your situation is jeopardizing your exam grades, friendships, relationships and your mental and physical states. This sounds like a lot to be trying to cope with. Would you be able to tell us a bit more about what's been going on at the moment? Is something that you'd like to focus on getting help for in particular at the moment?

We have some articles on The Mix that you might find useful, there are different sections such as money, housing, mental health and sex and relationships.

There's also a website called Shelter that has some housing advice that you can find here

It might also be useful to have a look at our Home Truths tool here which has a lot of information about moving out for the first time on it.

Hope this helps