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Dad wants to kick me out, but mum doesnt? Help?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all,

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place so my apologies if not!

So to keep a long story somewhat short, im 22 and live with my mum and dad, and also my little sister. Dad has decided he wants me gone, he's made it abundantly clear he's fed up of me. (And has made various comments like that ever since i was a little boy). I've been given a verbal notice from him to pack up and leave within 2 weeks (starting 08/05/2016) or he will call the police.

I do not believe i've done anything to warrant being forced to leave, i pay rent to my parents each month and i make sure my own bills are all kept in line and i dont go out of my way to cause trouble between me and dad, or anyone in the house. If anything im in my room doing my self employed job all day. It is causing alot of emotional distress to my mum as she does not want me to be kicked out and we cant understand why he's suddenly 'fed up' of me. He will not explain his actions other than saying that. I am more worried for my mum and my little sisters safety as he is not the best person to be around.

I've done my research a little and from what i've found he can indeed throw me out as im over 18 and the obligation as a parent is now gone however i think he needs to provide a written notice and it needs to be signed by both parents and dated?

What im confused about is that my mum doesnt want me thrown out but dad couldnt give a rats ass what she thinks and is doing it anyway, is there any action i, and/or my mother can take to stop this going ahead? Dad nor my mum own the house so there is no power to throw me out that way is there? (They receive housing benefit which is paid to the housing association)

Thanks for taking the time to read this, i appreciate any and all advice you may have!


  • RavenclawRavenclaw Noob Posts: 74 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi Anare'il,

    Welcome to the boards! I'm glad you have reached out to the community here, and hope you find it a helpful space to ask for advice about what's going on or talk about what's happening. It sounds like you're in a really tough position right now, I'm sorry to hear you're facing the possibility of your father trying to kick you out, as that sounds difficult. You mentioned feeling confused, especially as it doesn't sound like you've done anything at all to make your father react like this and he won't explain his actions. That must be frustrating or upsetting - how are you coping with this? Do you have any friends or other family member that might be able to support you if you need it?

    I am no expert so there could be different circumstances which change this, but from what I've read it would seem that unfortunately a relative can legally evict you with given notice, regardless of whether they own the property. If this is the case, I think there are still several options open to you:
    • First and foremost, it might be a good idea to speak to an advisor who can give you more expert knowledge about your specific situation. Shelter has a free housing advice helpline, or if you don't want to speak on the phone you can email them. You can also find local services which can help to advise you on Get Connected's website or by calling their helpline.
    • You may want to check out this article on TheMix which explains when you're eligible for help from the council in the event of you not having anywhere to stay. If you have done nothing wrong to make you be forced out of the house, then you may be eligible to apply as 'at risk of homelessness' which will allow them to help you find somewhere to stay if your dad goes ahead with his threat.
    • Alternatively, have you tried, or would you be willing to try, some form of family mediation? Obviously this really depends on whether your parents are likely to agree to attend, but you mentioned it is causing some emotional distress to your mum, so perhaps it might help in that respect if it's a path possible for you.
    Please feel free to keep posting here about what's happening or to ask for more advice - I hope things work out for you! :)
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