What they don't teach at school: talking about sex?

Former Member

Let's face it, sex education at school can be pretty basic. Talking about sex can be difficult and downright embarrassing - I'm sure most of us have stories about the 'sex talk' done badly (I still have nightmares about a certain teacher unglamorously ripping a condom on a large cucumber!)

Though that is better than nothing. A study from 2010 found that 50% of disabled people received no sex education at all school!

Sex eduction for most people tends to focus on the "physics" (biological diagrams and how not to get pregnant when having sex) but doesn't really go into the "chemistry" (how a relationship actually works, emotions and how to talk about sex).

So let's put that right!

If you could design the sex education curriculum, what topics would you include?

Bear in mind that the idea is to help people feel comfortable talking about sex, especially with their partners and that it would be for everyone, including people with disabilities and health conditions.

Former Member

Sex education in year 6 of school was good. Basically went through the biological and a bit of the relationship aspect and the teacher had a Q&A box where you could submit questions anonymously and in class assembly every week she'd answer them - so I'd say that was good.

I only remember three bits of sex ed from school: a video in biology watching an ejaculation into the vagina and following the sperm up; a really horrifically scarred for life anti abortion video in RE showing a surgical abortion taking place and my geography teacher trying to find his banana to put a condom on it. Not really any good bits from within that selection really!

So, I'd also expect same-sex and non-sexual relationships to be on the cards - i.e. it's fine to be asexual, not want to have sex or be homosexual. I'd also expect there to be some kind of exploration of emotions within the teaching - i.e. how to talk to your partner when you're not happy with something they do, or you feel pressured. I'd also like it that the teachers would feel confidable-in - I suppose I mean like you could ask them for advice? The Q&A box kind of thing for more advanced years (where the teacher also doesn't blush and start to muddle their words) maybe would be good. High school is so hard in so many respects in any case - we had life ed in mixed sets rather than our normal sets - so the trouble makers would constantly disrupt and this was perhaps one of the issues in good teaching.

You could also include some of the things we studied in sociology like family types - the nuclear family vs one parent vs step etc - to cover a wider base and to stop alienating people who don't come from the standard nuclear family.

It's really hard to imagine what *could* be taught when in your experience the base line teaching level was pretty much zero - but I'm sure some people have good experiences! The emotional side feels harder to design because different relationships have different timelines.

Former Member

My school didn't do Sex Ed because it thought it was encouraging people to have sex. Rather than showing /telling them if they're going to do it, how to protect yourselves.