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Loneliness
apandav
Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
Not sure if this thread is better suited to this category or relationships, but since I'm talking about the feeling of loneliness I guess it goes under "wellbeing"?
Well I've had many times in my life where I've experienced loneliness, I didn't have any friends really until I was about 14, and still got lonely a lot when I did. I do have friends now, but I still often feel lonely- I do spend a lot of time alone as everyone around me is always busy. Additionally I do feel lonely a lot in crowds (but that's another story). Yet I finally have friends, but often feel isolated- I do enjoy being on my own a lot (and when I'm around people too much I want to be alone) but I'm alone too much even for my liking.
Prior to exam season, I'd see friends for lunch an hour a day at uni , and occasionally the odd time see school friends at the weekend (anywhere between once every 2 weeks to once every 3 months). I now feel even more lonely as its exam seasons, and I more or less spend the full week alone (except from seeing my parents at nights sometimes).
Currently I am trying to improve my mh on different levels, by volunteering (I guess thats some human contact with) and mindfulness drop ins at uni (for my mental health, but I guess I see a few people there too). Also started going to "meet ups", but too much social anxiety to go to most of them- I am able to go to the mh ones as I feel people are understanding and the autism (they are open to people who may have aspergers, like myself who is waiting to be tested) - thats different though
don't have the guts to go to like e.g. the under 25s social meets or any other kind of group like that!
I'm also weary over the fact its almost summer holidays for me (my last exam is May 24th and don't go back to uni until September), I always feel very lonely at this time in general.....
Just wondered if there is anyone else out there who feels lonely a lot too (mostly you hear about elderly being lonely, but I'm far from it at 19 years old), guess it would be nice to know I'm not alone.
Also has anyone got any tips on coping with loneliness?
Well I've had many times in my life where I've experienced loneliness, I didn't have any friends really until I was about 14, and still got lonely a lot when I did. I do have friends now, but I still often feel lonely- I do spend a lot of time alone as everyone around me is always busy. Additionally I do feel lonely a lot in crowds (but that's another story). Yet I finally have friends, but often feel isolated- I do enjoy being on my own a lot (and when I'm around people too much I want to be alone) but I'm alone too much even for my liking.
Prior to exam season, I'd see friends for lunch an hour a day at uni , and occasionally the odd time see school friends at the weekend (anywhere between once every 2 weeks to once every 3 months). I now feel even more lonely as its exam seasons, and I more or less spend the full week alone (except from seeing my parents at nights sometimes).
Currently I am trying to improve my mh on different levels, by volunteering (I guess thats some human contact with) and mindfulness drop ins at uni (for my mental health, but I guess I see a few people there too). Also started going to "meet ups", but too much social anxiety to go to most of them- I am able to go to the mh ones as I feel people are understanding and the autism (they are open to people who may have aspergers, like myself who is waiting to be tested) - thats different though
don't have the guts to go to like e.g. the under 25s social meets or any other kind of group like that!I'm also weary over the fact its almost summer holidays for me (my last exam is May 24th and don't go back to uni until September), I always feel very lonely at this time in general.....
Just wondered if there is anyone else out there who feels lonely a lot too (mostly you hear about elderly being lonely, but I'm far from it at 19 years old), guess it would be nice to know I'm not alone.
Also has anyone got any tips on coping with loneliness?
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Comments
Thanks for posting this thread.
Sorry to hear that you've experienced loneliness many times in your life. It sounds like a difficult time for you at the moment, you're doing really well to talk here about how you're feeling. How do you feel after writing this post and writing this all down?
Sounds tough that you're worried about the loneliness getting worse in the future, it's really positive that you're talking through how you're thinking here and you're reaching out for support with this too.
You were saying that you're weary about it almost being your summer holidays and you always feel lonely during this time, what's making you feeling weary, could you say more about this?
Not sure if you have seen these articles but thought I'd let you know about a few we have about loneliness - I'm lonely and How can I stop feeling sad and lonely
You're welcome to keep posting more about how you're feeling here
Thanks for your reply Steph
I guess its good to get things out on the open, I do feel I make too many threads on here but I don't really have another outlet
Every single summer the same things happen- I feel really isolated and get very down, as everyones busy and I have nothing to stay occupied with. I'm going to try and do stuff, just saying im weary the lonliness will get worse.
I do enjoy being on my own a lot, but even for me sometimes I just want company
I'm sure a lot of others are or have been in a similar situation, so in that sense you are most likely not alone in this, and well done for opening up on here. You're always welcome to use this space as an outlet
It's really okay to want to be alone with yourself; it allows us to take some time out for ourselves, to think and to learn :yes:
Being a shy person won't mean that you will always be lonely or struggle to be around people. It can be overcome with small steps; but it's also possible to still be a generally shy person and not feel lonely all the time
You mentioned that you feel particularly lonely or down during the summer, and I wonder if you might consider volunteering? It's a great way to meet people, but at the same time no pressure and something new! You would also be voluntarily giving your time to help others which can feel especially rewarding, as well as being a good utilisation of spare time. There may also be things going on during the summer such as book clubs, language classes or other activities - whatever you might be interested in. Again this could be a way to have a bit of social time without too much pressure :chin:
Is there anything else you can think of that might help you?
We also have some info here about meeting new people if you wanted to take a look
Thank you Raich,
I do think that I am a lot less shy than I used to be - I was extremely shy as a child, so I guess that makes sense.
Actually I know volunteering is a great way to meet people, I've done a lot in the past and just recently I started volunteering again and would like to do even more during summer. I'll look into groups, but it depends I get quite nervous, especially when I don't know anyone- but I'll check out the article you've posted.