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I have a problem.....it's getting out of hand!!
apandav
Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
Hi this is an issue I'm very reluctant to post on here, yet I feel it's getting out of hand , and I thought about all the people I could tell eg. Psychologist, student support services etc. but they are definitely not options.
I may have posted this in the past. Previously I stalked my old therapist online (not to cause harm and never wanted to contact her at all, just to find out information- I get enjoyment from this).
So recently I have found my psychologists Facebook which wasn't easy - as she only uses her first and middle name (didn't even know her middle name). But through googling her and people searches I figured it out- I found that she only graduated from uni last year and I read her thesis - which gave me hints to names of her friends (one of which has an unusual name), also found who I thought was her on a people finder (through guessing she lived in this city and the age range matched what age I thought she looked roughly. Using this information after a while I found her Facebook.
Her Facebook is very private, but I've found her family members and saw photos of her online through their accounts. I'm getting obsesses and I check her profile, her fiancées, her sisters, mums and a few main friends daily- to see if she liked their new profile photos. I like to figure out roughly when she was last on Facebook.
Please I know it makes me seem scary, but I would never hurt anyone or approach her. Thing is i don't have any interest in doing this with my friends, it's just people like psychologists, and sometimes my doctor (maybe teachers in the past).
I get enjoyment from it, I feel really ashamed and that i have something wrong with me. It's getting out of hand:(
Also to make matters worse - not sure if this is 100% true - I discovered online if you search someone/ look at their profile often- you can appear in their suggested list of friends. This worries me, how suspicious would it look if I appeared in her suggested friends section, especially as we have no mutual friends. I'm very worried about this.
Please don't judge, I will never cause harm and I'm only posting this as I can't confide in anyone at all about it and I'm getting really obsessed.
I may have posted this in the past. Previously I stalked my old therapist online (not to cause harm and never wanted to contact her at all, just to find out information- I get enjoyment from this).
So recently I have found my psychologists Facebook which wasn't easy - as she only uses her first and middle name (didn't even know her middle name). But through googling her and people searches I figured it out- I found that she only graduated from uni last year and I read her thesis - which gave me hints to names of her friends (one of which has an unusual name), also found who I thought was her on a people finder (through guessing she lived in this city and the age range matched what age I thought she looked roughly. Using this information after a while I found her Facebook.
Her Facebook is very private, but I've found her family members and saw photos of her online through their accounts. I'm getting obsesses and I check her profile, her fiancées, her sisters, mums and a few main friends daily- to see if she liked their new profile photos. I like to figure out roughly when she was last on Facebook.
Please I know it makes me seem scary, but I would never hurt anyone or approach her. Thing is i don't have any interest in doing this with my friends, it's just people like psychologists, and sometimes my doctor (maybe teachers in the past).
I get enjoyment from it, I feel really ashamed and that i have something wrong with me. It's getting out of hand:(
Also to make matters worse - not sure if this is 100% true - I discovered online if you search someone/ look at their profile often- you can appear in their suggested list of friends. This worries me, how suspicious would it look if I appeared in her suggested friends section, especially as we have no mutual friends. I'm very worried about this.
Please don't judge, I will never cause harm and I'm only posting this as I can't confide in anyone at all about it and I'm getting really obsessed.
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Comments
Hannah
Do you mean like attention seeking, if so I doubt it's that as I'm not seeking any attention from her as I know it's not appropriate to contact her outside of sessions and I don't plan to do that . With my last therapist it was more understandable as she was about my mums age and I used to imagine her being my mum, but my psychologist is late 20s so only like 8-10 years older than myself.
It is great that you are posting what you are going through here. Firstly, you have nothing to be ashamed about. For many people sharing personal details about themselves to a therapist or Doctor can be difficult, especially if we do not know much about them. For some people they need to find out more about their Doctor or Therapist so that they can build up trust with them and feel more able to open up in therapy or consultation session. How long have you known this therapist for?
On my Facebook I've noticed that all my suggested friends all have at least one mutual friend, so I don't think you will appear on your therapist's Facebook unless you have a mutual friend with them
Thanks for your reply Aife
That explanation makes sense, it's just one of those things I don't know exactly why I do it, so that could explain it.
I've only known her since December (so 4 months).
Oh okay,that's a relief then