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Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello
I asked about what topics is okay to write about on here, and got told pretty much anything. (http://vbulletin.thesite.org/forum/welcome-centre/help-desk/3541430-site-rules I know it was a week ago, but well it's been a hard week and I've not been on here since). I read the about this forum too and the topic I want to ask about is not mentioned so I hope this is okay.
Last Friday, 15th April (oh wow, a week ago) I started a new medicine called Fluoxetine. I don't really know why all the information I know is what's on the leaflet and I don't think I have any of those (depression and various eating disorders, I thought more like anxiety than depression.) but, I've been given it so I'm taking it.
It's been quite a strange week, until Monday I was fine, didn't seem to have any affect so was quite relived. Monday night my feelings were strange didn't know what was happening. Wednesday was the same.
I keep getting random physical things happening - any 1 or more of tummy hurting, feeling sick, fast heart rate, fast breathing, going suddenly hot or cold, being dizzy. I've got other medical conditions but because of what I am doing when it happens I know it can't be them and is therefore somehow mental health related. I was at the GP on Thursday anyway and he said 'It gets worse first and will improve in 2-4 weeks' even though I had these same things happen BEFORE I started the medicine too (although yes they are worse this week).
I got a bit distracted from my question which has been happening too actually, I've been distracted a lot more than usual this week, also don't know if it is this medicine or something else.
But, the question is in the leaflet it quite a few times mentions that if you have thoughts of self harming or suicide you need to go to hospital and take the medicine with you to show them. linked to it is that it's more likely to happen if you are under 25 or if you have had these thoughts in the past. I'm 20, been self harming for 6 years and had some thoughts of suicide about as long. - so basically at some point it will happen again anyway, with this medicine I can't believe I've not this week but I think that's because the sickness has stopped me doing almost anything.
I was sent to A&E by school when I was 5 for suicidal thoughts, I got admitted, felt worse. The next day my CAMHS person said school were wrong to send me A&E because it's known for me that change in routine and new places/people makes me worse, so they let me leave and were going to contact school. I never told anyone when I felt the same again though, just in case because I didn't want that again and I can stop it by not telling anyone. even now, never have.
But, the issue is with this medicine I'm supposed to go hospital if it happens.. which I really don't want to and so when I've had the odd small thought this week haven't done.
I've been to A&E for self harm a quite few times (both under and over 18), some good and some bad experiences and I've learnt not to bother. you wait so long they won't do anything, the wait in a new place makes me worse and all that happens is I do it again and don't tell anyone. yes their is a seeing a mental health person bit, they assess me and not understanding my other conditions decide there's nothing they can or will do. I therefore know if I went to A&E just wanting to self harm, there would be completely no point because even when I have they do nothing to help.
But with the suicide bit I just want a bit of advice about how to know when to go and a bit of reassurance really about what would happen if I went now i'm over 18. Would they admit me now? does the medicine change what they would do?
Thank you for reading all that lot, I know it's long but i'd really appreciate anyone sharing any experience they have about this.
I asked about what topics is okay to write about on here, and got told pretty much anything. (http://vbulletin.thesite.org/forum/welcome-centre/help-desk/3541430-site-rules I know it was a week ago, but well it's been a hard week and I've not been on here since). I read the about this forum too and the topic I want to ask about is not mentioned so I hope this is okay.
Last Friday, 15th April (oh wow, a week ago) I started a new medicine called Fluoxetine. I don't really know why all the information I know is what's on the leaflet and I don't think I have any of those (depression and various eating disorders, I thought more like anxiety than depression.) but, I've been given it so I'm taking it.
It's been quite a strange week, until Monday I was fine, didn't seem to have any affect so was quite relived. Monday night my feelings were strange didn't know what was happening. Wednesday was the same.
I keep getting random physical things happening - any 1 or more of tummy hurting, feeling sick, fast heart rate, fast breathing, going suddenly hot or cold, being dizzy. I've got other medical conditions but because of what I am doing when it happens I know it can't be them and is therefore somehow mental health related. I was at the GP on Thursday anyway and he said 'It gets worse first and will improve in 2-4 weeks' even though I had these same things happen BEFORE I started the medicine too (although yes they are worse this week).
I got a bit distracted from my question which has been happening too actually, I've been distracted a lot more than usual this week, also don't know if it is this medicine or something else.
But, the question is in the leaflet it quite a few times mentions that if you have thoughts of self harming or suicide you need to go to hospital and take the medicine with you to show them. linked to it is that it's more likely to happen if you are under 25 or if you have had these thoughts in the past. I'm 20, been self harming for 6 years and had some thoughts of suicide about as long. - so basically at some point it will happen again anyway, with this medicine I can't believe I've not this week but I think that's because the sickness has stopped me doing almost anything.
I was sent to A&E by school when I was 5 for suicidal thoughts, I got admitted, felt worse. The next day my CAMHS person said school were wrong to send me A&E because it's known for me that change in routine and new places/people makes me worse, so they let me leave and were going to contact school. I never told anyone when I felt the same again though, just in case because I didn't want that again and I can stop it by not telling anyone. even now, never have.
But, the issue is with this medicine I'm supposed to go hospital if it happens.. which I really don't want to and so when I've had the odd small thought this week haven't done.
I've been to A&E for self harm a quite few times (both under and over 18), some good and some bad experiences and I've learnt not to bother. you wait so long they won't do anything, the wait in a new place makes me worse and all that happens is I do it again and don't tell anyone. yes their is a seeing a mental health person bit, they assess me and not understanding my other conditions decide there's nothing they can or will do. I therefore know if I went to A&E just wanting to self harm, there would be completely no point because even when I have they do nothing to help.
But with the suicide bit I just want a bit of advice about how to know when to go and a bit of reassurance really about what would happen if I went now i'm over 18. Would they admit me now? does the medicine change what they would do?
Thank you for reading all that lot, I know it's long but i'd really appreciate anyone sharing any experience they have about this.
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Comments
If the medication doesn't help with suicidal thoughts (or makes them worse) see your GP as soon as you can to start easing off them, and maybe onto something more suited to you as unfortunately not everything works the same way for everybody. Sorry about your bad experiences with A&E that sounds truly rubbish! Although I don't have personal experience, I recently read a book called It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini and although it's fiction it's based on his experiences with depression and being suicidal. The main character is a teenager who goes to ER for suicidal thoughts and ends up being put in the adult ward because the teen section is being renovated (lol). The book is both heart-achingly relatable and refreshingly light-hearted for something covering such dense subjects. If you don't like reading I think there's a movie of it too :d
It's brave of you for even just posting if you ask me, since I know how much it takes to just ask for help. I think it would be a great step to talk about everything with your GP or really anyone if you can. If things get really bad and you can't get to A&E straight away, try a hotline. The Samaritans line (116 123) is always open. I'm very sorry I couldn't be more helpful with the hospital queries, but just ask if you have any questions about medication and side effects or anything at all.
As you have said, some suicidal thoughts are normal for you, but if the number or likelihood of acting on them increases that is when to tell someone.
Hi Lucy
My mum takes Sertraline.. and I am SO glad I didn't get given it. I don't think I would cope with that, having been mum's carer for years It's hard enough having medication for mental health without it being the same one as her.
I was at the GP on Thursday, I tried to ask him stuff but everything I was saying because I'm worried he's just saying it will go/reduce in 2-4 weeks.
I still don't understand why I even have this, or what it's supposed to do to help.
I'm not sure that book will help. I like reading so long as it's for like under 12 year olds so I can actually read it. I can never understand how knowing someone else has the same problems helps me. like when they go "you will not believe how many people have sat in that chair and said that" I think, right okay-and how does that help me? all you are saying is other people have had the same issues rather than anything that is going to help me improve them.
For me asking online is easier than anything else-talking to anyone would be the scary thing for me, online is easy.
Can't contact Samaritans. Can't do phones. I did try once a few months ago and the number doesn't even work from the phone in my room so nothing I can do.
Thanks' for replying. that's helpful actually. 'tell someone' -who would that be?
I was at the Doctor on Thursday, and as I just said above he just said it will all go in 2-4 weeks. I don't really think he listens that well anymore. But, I've not got any other appointment with him now because I've now got the CMHT so he said I don't need to go to him too.
So, all I can do is wait for when the appointment with them is, then attempt to ask them-which won't happen so I will never understand what's happening.
Would you consider changing GPs or is that too difficult? Yeah I like YA books too, this one is a kid's one. I know what you mean though, often someone saying they're in the same boat just makes you feel bad for the both of you instead of helping haha.
Yeah I get the phone thing I really can't either. ^^Maybe the 'someone' can be at the CMHT?
Again, I'm here if you need it
It could be anyone you tell; your doctor, the CMHT, a friend, family member, someone you trust. It doesn't have to be a certain person - but if it is a medical professional they will most likely be able to point you better in a direction or change your medication if needs be - but having someone else who knows what you're going through can also be really helpful.
Sorry to hear that your doctor isn't being so helpful right now - he is right in that these could just be side effects and these do normally abate within 6 weeks of starting the drug BUT you know yourself best and if you really aren't happy with the medication - make sure you go back. Remember also you don't just have to see that doctor, you can make an appointment to see any other doctor (either in your surgery, or change surgery). When you're low it can be really hard to feel like you should be able to get the care you need, but you deserve it.
On a personal note, I've seen so many doctors and have changed when I really didn't get on with one - you really can't underestimate the value of having a good relationship with your doctor. I also took Fluoxetine for about 3-4 weeks some years ago but had to change because it made me really, really ill. Don't be afraid to ask to change if it isn't working for you.
Thanks for being here, I appreciate it. Even if I can't get on and reply as much as I want to. I need to prioritise work at the moment, (uni, assignments to write...) and my days are currently chaos. I'll be tired randomly and need to sleep because I can't do anything else, then wake up and be tired all day even if I go to bed really early and sleep a full night because I'm tired then too. But then the next day I'm back in my old habit of going sleep at 3am, waking at 7 or 8am, which has been great because then today I've not been tired and so have got things done. I'm awake now but don't know how long before I get suddenly tired and need to sleep again. It is very frustrating because I can't plan a time to do anything in because if i'm tired or feeling bad another way their is no point forcing myself through anything so I'm feeling very unproductive.. But, today was my first day I didn't have any of the random sickness/tummy hurt/headache/ fast heartbeat/ fast breathing/anything else their was. so that feels like some kind of mini victory even if I do have completely no control on anything.
I thought this GP was quite good until now though. I changed GP practices in September when I came to uni, ended up seeing a few but now I keep seeing the same one, partly because he's the mental health GP and partly because after seeing him once I liked him best-he seemed to understand the affect of my other conditions on all this new mental health stuff and how the combination is really complicated but that I should still get support (which no-one understands..) I'm less impressed with him now so I don't know. But then he said last time I was there I don't need to go back in 2 weeks so I suppose I won't see him in a while now.
The issue with that is how little I see the CMHT, like it will be a month in between my last and next appointment-and believe me a lot can change in a month. Even in a hour at the moment I can feel about 10 different things, and every day is so different. The standard 'how have you been' type question that I struggle answering anyway will be impossible.
I don't really have anyone else to tell about it though. Don't have any friends or family etc, and support workers don't understand both my other conditions, and mental health. If I tell anyone who does not understand mental health, I'd get sent to A&E because they 'worried' witch makes me worse and still gets me no support. If I tell someone who understands mental health, they'd probably also send me to A&E with the same result because they don't understand how that is a problem because of other things. when I had CAMHS they did understand both-and gave school a 'telling off' when they sent me A&E and shouldn't have.. but I don't want a repeat of that again so I've just never told anyone since as there is no-one who understands, and if I do feel that bad, the last thing I want is to be sent somewhere that will make me feel worse.
I realised most of what I put above answers you too, so I joined my reply together this time.
What is the medication supposed to do though? because i'd rather wait a bit and find out if it works before changing too soon and starting again, especially as it can take a few weeks/months to work I don't want to be back at the start and confuse my body and go through it all again if I don't have to. The less changes is also good so I don't get confused and don't have to update my information all the time.
Do you know what other options their are though, or more importantly do any others come in a liquid because I can't take tablets?
Glad the side effects are wearing off! Oh my gosh I get you, being asked how you are is just the most complicated question. It's like well I happen to be fine now but 5 minutes ago I was having a meltdown and lying on my carpet so... If the doctor understands your conditions best I think you're right to stay with him, since like you said he might be more helpful in a couple weeks. Maybe ask your GP next time you see him if there's anyone he would advise you to speak to? I know when I asked mine she gave me the name of a site which kinda lets you do CBT for yourself. It's called 'moodgym' and even though the website looks literally prehistoric the actual content seems pretty cool.
But yeah, anytime