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High School adjustments-help!
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi!
Basically, it's nearly been a year in high school and I can't seem to adjust. It's not that the work is too hard, it's just that it's so different and... big. And they're so many more threats. Also, I got asked out! How do I turn him down and still remain on a friend basis? Ugh. High school sucks
Basically, it's nearly been a year in high school and I can't seem to adjust. It's not that the work is too hard, it's just that it's so different and... big. And they're so many more threats. Also, I got asked out! How do I turn him down and still remain on a friend basis? Ugh. High school sucks
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
Agree with you that high school definitely seems a massive leap from everything we've been through before and it does take a long time to get used to it. It's great that the work isn't an issue and hopefully, the more you get to know new places and people the less threatening they will seem. As for the boy troubles, maybe tell him you want to focus on school work instead of relationships to let him down easy. Good on you getting asked out tho
Any other worries and you can ask
One last question I have that I forgot to include though, is about friends. I'm a really quiet and extremely serious girl ( about studies and behaviour) and often get sorted in the goody two shoes category. I wouldn't normally mind but because of that I have only one friend, the boy I talked about earlier. Any advice on how to get more?
Oh, and thanks for the compliment. You have been a great help.
Or, with summer coming up that's a good time to try something new and meet new people too.
But don't worry about not having enough friends. I realised (recently actually!) that I'm a lot happier now with two very close friends who know me really well, than when i had more friends who just felt like acquaintances that knew nothing about me.
Glad I could help a little!
Transitioning into high school is a difficult experience for most people, some it takes longer than others. Personally I also struggled transitioning into high school , I had few friends like yourself....... when I was younger I'd always see large groups of people and feel intimidated. Like LucyBr , now that I'm older I realised having a few true friends is much better than lots of acquitances- the former friendships can last a lifetime in some cases.
If you would like to meet other people, clubs is a great idea - does your school have a lot of clubs on offer, is there anything you would like to give a shot? Joining clubs can be daunting especially if your alone, maybe it would be easie if you could join a club with your friend? And if you join alone it may feel scary, but just even start conversation about the club itself, it could be a good way to meet people who you've never even met before.
With regards to the guy, best just to tell him straight that your not interested but would be happy to be friends- if he's a good guy he will respect that!
I can relate to the goody-two shoes label - I think just be yourself, I'm sure there will be other students who are very hard working too
My friend, let's call him J, I told him that I didn't feel the same way and he accepted it...For a while. He started writing me love letters and having others pass it on to me and started just overstepping the boundaries a bit and gosh I am so frustratedand scared. I broke off our friendship but he started a rumour about me in school...uh, he told people that we slept together and stuff and I told people about the false rumours but it won't stop and I need help because I'm really close to relapsing. He sent me messages on whatsapp but I blocked him but... just, sorry for springing this on you. Sorry.
Sounds like the way your friend J. has been acting towards you, is very overwhelming *hug*
Firstly well done in setting boundaries, as its important that J. knows he is making you uncomfortable- you don't have to put up with this! It sounds like he isn't taking you very seriously, but that's definitely not your fault. I am just wondering how you set your boundaries, perhaps if you write him a letter about how uncomfortable he is making you feel and asking him to stop overstepping the boundaries, he may respond better - as it's not as easy for him to interrupt a conversation, or if conversation is difficult between you both!
Also I am wondering if you have confided in anyone else e.g. a friend or family member about how he is making you feel? As sometimes it can help some people to vent their frustrations to others close to them, and having support from family/friends can be , of benefit. However I think if he is making you feel this bad you definitely have a good reason to speak to a trusted adult- teacher or parent. How would you feel about this?
I am sorry to hear that the stress of the situation is triggering you in other ways. Are you getting any support for your mental health? Again family and friends can be great support for this also, but maybe visiting your GP about your mental health may be another step!
Feel free to keep posting- there is no limit, and you are free to post on TheMix boards as little or as much as you wish! You are always welcome here (and feel free to come and go as you please)!