I'm a little worried...

Former Member

Okay, so for a while now I've been drinking with my friends and stuff. But the past few months, it hasn't been just at parties and gatherings. It's been almost every day. I'm almost always either drunk or have a hangover. Let's put in some context.

I have social anxiety, it's pretty bad. But, when I drink, I can talk to people. I can have fun and have a good time. I can be a normal friend. I'm a really happy drunk though and sometimes I know I get a bit too trusting of people when I'm drunk. I almost went home with some random guy before my friend stopped me the other day. I'm so glad he did, who knows what would have happened to me?
I also have anemia, so the alcohol really isn't great for it. I try not to drink when I feel really bad, but it takes the dizziness away a bit, puts it to the side.

My parents have no idea. In the holidays, I sleep in till late so usually I don't have a hangover left. But at school, I have to deal with it. So when school is on, I tend to not drink much or not at all.

I'm worried that if I'm getting like this on weekends and in the holidays, what would I be like in the future? Any help? I don't want to make myself more vulnerable than I already am, or end up messing up my anemia completely. I don't want to depend on drink. I think I need suggestions now rather than waiting for later. Oh, and I refuse to go to a doctor, so please don't suggest that

Thanks for reading!

Former Member

Hey Joel,

Thanks for posting, you've done a really positive thing by speaking out about what's going on for you at the moment. It sounds like things are difficult at the moment but you've done really well to look for some help with this. How are you feeling after posting this message?

You were saying that you're worried about about your drinking on weekends and in the holidays and that you don't wan to depend on drink. You were also saying that you have social anxiety and when you drink you can talk to people and have fun and a good time. Sounds like a challenging situation to be in, it's really good that you're looking for help. Have you been able to speak to anyone else about what's been going on?

You were saying that for a while you have been drinking with friends at parties and now it's almost everyday and that you're almost always drunk or with a hangover, Thanks for sharing this with us, sounds really tough to deal with. How long has this been going on for?

In your post you were saying that you need suggestions, what ideally would you like to happen in your situation?

We have an article that you might find useful called I'm not shy, I've got social anxiety which you can find here

Former Member

I feel a bit better getting it out there. I haven't told anyone so it was kinda hard. My parents have no idea, they just think I'm sleeping a lot cause I'm lazy. It's been happening for a few months now, ever since September really when I started sixth form.

I just kinda suppose I was hoping someone had been through this before. I kinda wanted suggestions on how to stop it all.

JustV

Hey Joel,

Just wondering how you're getting on with all this? It's awesome that you're so self-aware and trying to catch it early on - great foresight.

Drinkaware is a good place to get some info on this sort of thing, and they have sections on alcohol dependency which you might find useful.

Former Member

Ehh I haven't been doing great with in all honesty. I have my AS exams coming up in May and so I've been stressing out over them a lot so end up drinking. Which obviously doesn't help because then I'm not revising. I sat a mock in geography and got an E which I feel like crap about because I really need a higher grade but I'm just struggling so much. I don't really know what to do. Oh yay, now this post is more than one topic...

I'll have a look at that site, thanks for linking it

Former Member

Heyoo Joel,

Since drinking just takes away inhibitions you do have the ability to talk to people and have fun without it, it's likely to be your anxiety convincing you otherwise. Maybe try to figure out your drinking limits and start off by reducing the amount you drink, whilst still getting the "happy" effects. Then after a while you might be able to get by with very little or none of it at all.

Even though it manifests itself differently for me, I can defo emphasise with anxiety convincing you that you can't do things or that you depend on things. Truth is, you're likely a great friend with or without alcohol

You can ask me about any worries or just vent if you want

Former Member

Hey,

Yeah it's probably my anxiety saying I can't do things. But I really do struggle with people a lot, I can't go anywhere with other people around without shaking violently and panicking. It's really bad, it's like I'm drowning.

Drinking kind of makes the drowning feeling and shaking disappear, it helps me calm down and relax really.

Former Member

Hi again Do you have to be completely drunk for the drowning sensation to go away? Maybe you could try drinking a little less and stopping when you're tipsy instead of fully drunk, so you're just more at ease without the hangovers and effects on your anemia.

How are ASs going this week? I had to battle through them last year so hit me up with any queries if you'd like

Former Member

I pretty much have to be fully drunk really. Otherwise it just doesn't work and I'm still shaky and nervous. It's really hard. It's like I depend on the stuff.

Ehh my AS exams are so screwed... I'm a horrific procrastinator and I haven't revised at all yet and my exam are in like 3 weeks. But I'm dropping out to get an apprenticeship anyway, A levels really aren't my thing.

Former Member

That does sound hard, it's good you seem to have a friend to stop you going overboard though. Do you talk to him about any of it, or not that kind of friend?

Ooh cool an apprenticeship! What will it be in? Are you still talking the exams, you never know... could surprise yourself! I too procrastinate disgustingly :d Revised for some of my ASs the day before last year. What subjects are you taking atm?

Former Member

Yeah, I talk to him about it all. But he doesn't really know what to do since he isn't really in that much better shape since he does quite a few drugs. He's trying to stop himself though. I've only applied but I'm hoping for something either in the gaming or music industries. I'll probably still take the AS exams, depending when I get to start my apprenticeship. I'm taking geography, geology and psychology. But psychology is a two year course so I don't get an AS for that. It was just a waste of time.

Former Member

It's great you can talk to him. That's so awesome! I haven't gamed in a while now but I love it and anything music would be brilliant. Cool, nah dw it's not a waste of time even if it was only interesting occasionally haha :d

Former Member

I don't really want to stop doing my A levels but my parents are making me get an apprenticeship since I suck at them.

Former Member

If you don't want to stop then keep on trying. Maybe try to let them see that you can go after the possibility of an apprenticeship whilst keeping on with the A levels? I'm sure you don't suck at them, if you're anything like me it could just be a motivation thing (I would spend hours wondering why I was bothering and what use they'd be anyway instead of actually just sitting down and working).

This year I've tried to just sit down and make a rly specific list of everything I need to do and I'm (slowwwwly cuz i'm a mess) getting through it bit by bit. I can't deal with timetables tho I never stick to them. Do you know when each exam is and what you've gotta do/learn for them?

I've strayed farrr from your original question, apologies :d

Former Member

@LucyBr

Ehh I've been doing that but they want me to leave after I sit my AS exams. It's got to the point where social services have got involved though so hopefully things will be sorted soon.

My first exam is Monday morning for geology and I'm terrified. I have a geography one the day after and a second paper on the Friday. Then Monday after that I have the second geology paper. I'm so scared it's unreal.