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I can't stop thinking about death

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm fifteen, Female...
A couple years ago I had the sudden realization of the true meaning of death to me, as an atheist. I was absolutely terrified at the thought, but it didn’t consume my mind back then like it does now.
Then, maybe if I couldn’t sleep my mind would wander and come across the topic, and I would feel sick because of how scared it made me feel. Now I’m constantly thinking about the inevitable truth.
I was reading other people’s opinions and one guy says,”I constantly feel like I don't have that long to live and sometimes it hits me and I get a shiver and feel sick and really sad all at once like omg, this is it, one day my life is gonna be over and that's it. Done. I'll never see another day again. It terrifies me. I also keep thinking about my parents dying. I don't know how I'm going to cope with that and I know everyone fears losing their parents but I can't seem to go a day without thinking about it anymore. I can't even sit down and watch a film with them without thinking the whole way through "you have to make the most of this moment because one day you won't be able to sit and watch films with them anymore" and it really depresses me. I can't seem to block out these thoughts and just get on with my day and enjoy it. ” Which pretty much sums up how I feel.

Right now, I’m a freshman in high school, with average grades and an average life. I’ve never had any super traumatic experiences with death, or any huge anxiety problems, but lately I’ve been having issues with normal things, such as a loud/chatty classroom makes me panic, and I have to put my earbuds in to block them out, or I don’t feel like being my usual smiley self because of the constant thought of death hovering over me. I’ve also felt exhausted no matter how much sleep I get, which could be signs of depression through overthinking, but I won’t self-diagnose.
Here’s the link to that guy’s Q&A thing, and thank you for reading/helping.

http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread122081.html

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi KitKat and welcome to the boards :)

    Fear of the thought of death is natural, but it sounds like these thoughts have become overwhelming for you and started to affect your everyday life. You mentioned that this other person's description sums up how you feel - I wonder what it might be that has led the thoughts to become more intense? Do you think it's a fear of the uncontrollable or inevitable that's causing some sort of stress or anxiety?

    Have you talked to anybody about these thoughts? Sometimes writing them down somewhere too can help lighten their intensity :yes: You might find our info here on depression and anxiety helps to understand what each of them are a bit better.

    I hope it helped for you to come and post about this and we're here to listen if you'd like to talk some more *hug*
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