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Suicidal thoughts - Help!

Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I dont really know what to say, ive been having suicidal thoughts for months now and i dont know how to cope with them, i nee to talk to someone but i dont want to annoy anyone, i feel like i am just a pain and no one cares about me.
''You were in the wilderness
Looking for your own purpose
Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
I knew you always would''

- James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You won't be annoying anyone if you did talk to someone.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Just want to echo what Melian has already said.

    We are here for you :heart:

    Do you want to tell us more about whats been going on?
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    *BananaMonkey* wrote: »
    Just want to echo what Melian has already said.

    We are here for you :heart:

    Do you want to tell us more about whats been going on?


    Thank you - i messaged you back x
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    jpeople111 wrote: »


    Thank you - i messaged you back x

    Oh. Ive had no PM though
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    *BananaMonkey* wrote: »

    Oh. Ive had no PM though


    My PM's arent working so i will write it here....

    Hello,
    I am not okay, people hate me and i hate myself anyway, this boy at college has threatened me not to tell anyone and im really scared, i feel like everything that is shit is thrown my way and i dont feel i can cope for much longer.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to talk to someone about what this boy is threatening you.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    What doesnt this boy want you tell anybody? If somebody is threatening you then its important you get somebody you trust involved. Somebody who can support you.

    When you say things are being thrown at you to make you feel worse. What things are they? Maybe chatting will hopefully help you see things clearer. :heart:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    He grabbed my bag and tipped off upside down and everything fell out, he stole my memory stick which has a large percentage of my media coursework on it and he took my headphones and he said if i tell someone about this then he will just do it again.

    I am getting bullied, having suicidal thoughts,cant sleep due to nightmares, keep falling asleep in class, i am struggling and far behind on work, my mum may be losing her job.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to talk to someone, please. What's going on, you can't keep to yourself. it's just going to get worse.
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Melian wrote: »
    You have to talk to someone, please. What's going on, you can't keep to yourself. it's just going to get worse.


    Yes i know, im just really anxious about him knowing that ive told someone - ive just emailed my tutor about all thats been going on and got a reply straightaway, he seems really really concerned and has told me to come and see him first thing monday morning and he will let my maths teacher know that i wont be in lesson.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    I CANT DO THIS!!
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What has happened?!?!?!
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    HannahBannanna wrote: »
    What has happened?!?!?!


    i hurt myself, now i feel so bad, i was doing so well, im just so messed up - i should just give up now and leave this world for someone who can do some good, im no good at this and never will be - i am so scared to tell my tutor tomorrow that im getting bullied, he knows anyway because i emailed him Friday evening to let him know that im getting bullied and he replied within 5 minutes basically saying that he is really concerned and this shouldn't be happening at all and is very unacceptable behavior and he told me to meet him in his office first thing on Monday and he will let my english teacher know that i wont be in class - but the boy said if i tell someone then things will get worse :(
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That boy does not need to know it was you who said something as someone could have reported it anonymously!It will be okay but you must be as honest about it all as you possibly can be.

    Is it the thought of the bullying at college alone making you feel this way?It's strange tbh :/

    Hope youfeel much better again soon You CAN do this x
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Yes i will do and no it isnt :( x
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What else then!?!?!x
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    HannahBannanna wrote: »
    What else then!?!?!x


    I cant tell you.....well i dont want to tell you because i dont want to worry you :( x
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would rather you tell me than worry me Hun as otherwise I don't understand and find it strange and so hard to help?x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is anything negative happening??
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Lets say it includes a plan...
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    I ripped the plan up though - im going to call the samaritans
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey jpeople,

    Just want to say well done for reaching out to your tutor and letting them know about what has been going on - it was really brave of you :yes: It's natural to worry about what might happen next but hopefully they will be able to come up with a support strategy.

    It's okay if you don't want to say what else is making you feel this way; good shout on getting in touch with Samaritans.

    We're here if you want to talk some more, let us know how you get on tomorrow *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hun,I'm sorry, But I'm struggling to understand the reasons for you even thinking this way?I mean, what's so negative making you feel this way, aside from the college issue???

    Well Done on ripping it up and considering calling The Samaritans though.
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    raich wrote: »
    Hey jpeople,

    Just want to say well done for reaching out to your tutor and letting them know about what has been going on - it was really brave of you :yes: It's natural to worry about what might happen next but hopefully they will be able to come up with a support strategy.

    It's okay if you don't want to say what else is making you feel this way; good shout on getting in touch with Samaritans.

    We're here if you want to talk some more, let us know how you get on tomorrow *hug*


    Thank you Raich x
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ?????
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    HannahBannanna wrote: »
    Hun,I'm sorry, But I'm struggling to understand the reasons for you even thinking this way?I mean, what's so negative making you feel this way, aside from the college issue???

    Well Done on ripping it up and considering calling The Samaritans though.


    My mum might be losing her job, im getting bullied, i feel like my best is never good enough, i cant let go of the past, i keep getting into stupid little arguments with my family, i cant sleep because get nightmares, ive started self harming again, my dad and brother gang up on me and make me more self conscious of my body, im falling behind with media coursework, i struggle to get out of bed, i struggle to find a purpose
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have a purpose and you know you do!

    Unfortunately, coursework struggles are hard but also completely and utterly common!Keep talking for all the support!

    Your mum losing her job is stressful for all however she is in charge of this and it is not your responsibility.Just be there for her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jpeople111 wrote: »


    My mum might be losing her job, im getting bullied, i feel like my best is never good enough, i cant let go of the past, i keep getting into stupid little arguments with my family, i cant sleep because get nightmares, ive started self harming again, my dad and brother gang up on me and make me more self conscious of my body, im falling behind with media coursework, i struggle to get out of bed, i struggle to find a purpose


    When I read this I felt overwhelmed, so it's not wonder you do too :( Such a lot on your plate at the moment, it's understandable that you're struggling and that it all feels too much. If your suicidal thoughts have been persisting for some time now then you deserve to be heard and taken seriously. It's great that you feel able to call the Samaritans when you need to.

    Have you seen the Stay Alive App - this could be worth looking at for you as well : http://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/stay_alive_suicide_prevention_mobile_phone_application.html

    Do keep reaching out for support where you can and remember that you don't have to face all of this on your own. What do you think about going back to the GP to talk to them about what's going on?

    Don't forget Hopeline as well, they are aimed specifically at young people: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/help-advice/about-hopelineuk

    I wonder what sorts of things give you hope?

    Sending hugs *hug*
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    Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Jo7 wrote: »


    When I read this I felt overwhelmed, so it's not wonder you do too :( Such a lot on your plate at the moment, it's understandable that you're struggling and that it all feels too much. If your suicidal thoughts have been persisting for some time now then you deserve to be heard and taken seriously. It's great that you feel able to call the Samaritans when you need to.

    Have you seen the Stay Alive App - this could be worth looking at for you as well : http://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/stay_alive_suicide_prevention_mobile_phone_application.html

    Do keep reaching out for support where you can and remember that you don't have to face all of this on your own. What do you think about going back to the GP to talk to them about what's going on?

    Don't forget Hopeline as well, they are aimed specifically at young people: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/help-advice/about-hopelineuk

    I wonder what sorts of things give you hope?

    Sending hugs *hug*


    Oh, i will check out these apps Jo, thank you - i feel like im not being treated seriously enough and i guess talking about this with my GP again may be worth it.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
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    TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Hey - how are you getting on with the app @jpeople111 ?

    It's good to hear you're thinking about talking to the GP again, I'm sorry to hear you've not felt taken seriously. Have you managed to book an appointment?
    We're @Aife, @Ella, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

    Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 5pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

    We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.
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