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I Could Use Some Love Here
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
My name is Angie. I live in California. I am 21 years old. I live with my father and brother. I am currently attending college.
And at a loss of what to do anymore. =(
I feel like my life is falling apart. This has been going on for week's now. Im not really comfortable talking to people about what is going on with me face to face. So, this post is really the only last option I have I guess to find some relief. So forgive me if this just sounds like some kind a rant.
But I am seriously at the end of my rope here desperately trying to hang on. My father hates me, my brother doesnt even acknowledge my existance, I dont have any friends, I feel like an utter failure. School barely started and Im struggling so bad to keep afloat. I started abusing alcohol alot lately and have been hospitalized sooo many times to count. I have tried every medication out there up to the highest dosage. None of them help. I cant sleep at all. I get the worst nightmares and sleep paralysis sometimes. I look like crap and feel like crap. I dont know what happened or what wrong with me.
I wasnt like this. I was a superstar! Straight A student, top of my class, I excelled in about everything I could put my mind too. Now I can barely concetrate on one thing, I feel stupid. Most parents always saw me as the golden child now they probably feel glad there children didnt turn up anything like me. I never imagined myself drinking like the way I do now. But everything seems so overwhelming. I look myself in the mirror and dont recognize who i am anymore. My body has withered away, I was strong, healthy, and an incredible athlete in high school. I look like so lifeless now and malnourished. At the way my life is going right now, I will probably be dead because of physical health problems or just desperation! I feel sooooo unhappy.
And I hope to at least get some support from this place because I dont think I can go any longer like this. I dont expect anybody to solve my problems. But i really need someone right now to tell me my life is still worth fighting for. Please.
And at a loss of what to do anymore. =(
I feel like my life is falling apart. This has been going on for week's now. Im not really comfortable talking to people about what is going on with me face to face. So, this post is really the only last option I have I guess to find some relief. So forgive me if this just sounds like some kind a rant.
But I am seriously at the end of my rope here desperately trying to hang on. My father hates me, my brother doesnt even acknowledge my existance, I dont have any friends, I feel like an utter failure. School barely started and Im struggling so bad to keep afloat. I started abusing alcohol alot lately and have been hospitalized sooo many times to count. I have tried every medication out there up to the highest dosage. None of them help. I cant sleep at all. I get the worst nightmares and sleep paralysis sometimes. I look like crap and feel like crap. I dont know what happened or what wrong with me.
I wasnt like this. I was a superstar! Straight A student, top of my class, I excelled in about everything I could put my mind too. Now I can barely concetrate on one thing, I feel stupid. Most parents always saw me as the golden child now they probably feel glad there children didnt turn up anything like me. I never imagined myself drinking like the way I do now. But everything seems so overwhelming. I look myself in the mirror and dont recognize who i am anymore. My body has withered away, I was strong, healthy, and an incredible athlete in high school. I look like so lifeless now and malnourished. At the way my life is going right now, I will probably be dead because of physical health problems or just desperation! I feel sooooo unhappy.
And I hope to at least get some support from this place because I dont think I can go any longer like this. I dont expect anybody to solve my problems. But i really need someone right now to tell me my life is still worth fighting for. Please.
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Comments
Really brave of you to post on here and open up to us – having a rant can often help us to find some relief, and you’re welcome to use this space as an outlet
From reading your post it does sound like you’re at the end of your tether, and don’t feel supported by those around you. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with alcohol on top of your health recently. Would you say that something in particular happened which led to where you are right now?
You mentioned that you used to do really well in classes; and I wonder if you might be able to hone in on that and focus on what helped you to do so well. Perhaps if you manage to get back on track there it might be your first steps to recuperating :yes:
Is there anyone in your life who you feel you can trust to talk to or reach out to for support? It’s worth knowing that this is a UK based site, so any sites or further support we signpost to will also be UK based.
As you say though, we may not be able to solve your problems, but we can certainly help you to talk things through on here and support you in any way we can *hug*