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I so need some advice please
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
Hi,
I would really like some advice please and am not sure if I am just being funny or over reacting. I have been livng under the same roof as this guy for many years, there is no relationship, it has always purely been financial in regards that we can afford to live in a house in the country, it has been working fine for me because I would not want a relationship due to abuse.
Anyway, he is nearly 60 years of age and plays his xbox a lot, he has started playing this game called Fable and he chooses the female character, however what has been driving me nuts is that he keeps starting the game repeatedly and sells all her clothes, so she is running about in underwear, when he clothes her it is always hot pants and such. I know it may seem lame, but to be honest this freaks me out, it makes me cringe, perhaps it is because I suffered abuse by an older man but it just does not seem right to me. I do tell him and he says I am just being stupid as it is only a game....
Plus, I have noticed when we drive into town, I have seen him looking at girls getting off the bus.. even more freakier, am I being overly concerned because I just do not think I am, he knows I suffered abuse and have spent my entire life trying to get over it. You know, I always thought of him as being a little gay or effeminate so perhaps it is his strange alter ego, but at 60 years of age again, it just does not seem right, I am becoming quite aggressive towards him when he is playing the game, I just wish to smash it up and want him out of my home.
I wrote this under health and wellbeing because I do suffer from manic depression and severe anxiety, I am worried in case I am becoming paranoid and unreasonable. Please help! :crying:
I would really like some advice please and am not sure if I am just being funny or over reacting. I have been livng under the same roof as this guy for many years, there is no relationship, it has always purely been financial in regards that we can afford to live in a house in the country, it has been working fine for me because I would not want a relationship due to abuse.
Anyway, he is nearly 60 years of age and plays his xbox a lot, he has started playing this game called Fable and he chooses the female character, however what has been driving me nuts is that he keeps starting the game repeatedly and sells all her clothes, so she is running about in underwear, when he clothes her it is always hot pants and such. I know it may seem lame, but to be honest this freaks me out, it makes me cringe, perhaps it is because I suffered abuse by an older man but it just does not seem right to me. I do tell him and he says I am just being stupid as it is only a game....
Plus, I have noticed when we drive into town, I have seen him looking at girls getting off the bus.. even more freakier, am I being overly concerned because I just do not think I am, he knows I suffered abuse and have spent my entire life trying to get over it. You know, I always thought of him as being a little gay or effeminate so perhaps it is his strange alter ego, but at 60 years of age again, it just does not seem right, I am becoming quite aggressive towards him when he is playing the game, I just wish to smash it up and want him out of my home.
I wrote this under health and wellbeing because I do suffer from manic depression and severe anxiety, I am worried in case I am becoming paranoid and unreasonable. Please help! :crying:
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Comments
Sometimes threads go unanswered as some people don't have the answer.. It's a peer to peer support website, if we have no experience of said situation then we're unable to offer suitable advice. Your post will get an answer, just give it a bit more time
Personally, I don't see the issue with the game thing. I'm not really sure what advice I can give as I've never really thought into a situation like this, but maybe try not to look into the video game thing so much, I understand why you're doing so with your history of abuse, but try not to let it cloud your mind. It's only a video game, it's not too serious
It's unfortunate that it makes you feel uncomfortable, and I can understand why but perhaps it's time to consider moving out if you don't feel you can deal with how he is behaving?
:yes:
Just to add to what Hiccup said, we all miss things and sometimes posts slip under the radar. It can also take someone to bump the thread for it to get some responses, much like what's happened here.
It's understandable that your roommate's behavior makes you uncomfortable, particularly given your history. Out of interest, how would you feel about considering new living arrangements (i.e. moving out)? Like Kate said, as the relationship is purely financial it's tough to say whether you really have any jurisdiction (for lack of a better term) over the way he behaves in this sense. It might also be good to consider that removing yourself from something that seems to be causing you a fair amount of distress would likely be a good thing, and could give you the mental space you need to support yourself with the other things you mentioned.
Speaking of... are you getting any support for your depression and anxiety at the moment? I ask because I wonder if it's worth working on potential underlying causes of your discomfort, here.
I apologise if I'm telling you things you already know or if you've been down these sorts of routes before, but Womens Aid help to support women and children who are or have been victims or violence or abuse in the past. SANE are also a good port of call for support with anything mental health related - their helpline is 0300 304 7000 and is open between 6pm and 11pm daily.
Feel free to keep us posted on how you're getting on.