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Need someone to talk to - doubt anyones up this late :( *could be triggering*
Former Member
Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
I dont know what to do with myself,im having really scary negative thoughts and ive nearly took it out of myself, i dont know why i feel this bad, nothing bad has triggered it, i dont really understand who i am anymore, im really upset, confused and frustrated.......i dont know :banghead::(:no:
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It sucks that you're going through a confusing time but myself and many other members here are happy to listen and see if we can help.
What makes you say you don't know who you are anymore?
Its ok Matteh, i thought no one would be up at that crazy time in the night.
Im still feeling really all over the place, ive ran out of my anti depressants and im getting really bad withdraw symptoms such as excruciating headaches, feeling so low and really really tired and just dont really care anymore, im tearful and just having really negative thoughts.
I tend to be up, but work has left me knackered so I fall asleep around 11-12, which is insanely early for me!! - For the life of me I can't keep myself up. How are you doing at the moment? Sounds like you had quite a tricky night last night, would you like to tell us a bit more about what was going on for you, how you managed it, etc.
When can you go in for a re-peat prescription? Or do you have to get GP to apporve medications regularly? Would youm ike to tell us a bit more abouts what going on? Reoccuring negative thoughts can be really scary, and it can be difficult knowing where to go with them from there, what has helped you in the past when managing difficult thoughts?
I used to find doing something relaxing for example reading or writing, etc. Before I hit that dangerously low point to help me a lot. Stopping me from burying my head further down than it was. What does your body say when you start to feel these negative thoughts appear? Are you still getting regular mental health support?
Do keep us updated on how you're getting on,
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart
Sorry to hear you're having these scary thoughts *hug* Did it help for you to come and post at the time?
It sounds like it's tiring and frustrating struggling with these symptoms without your medication - have you thought about contacting your local out of hours service for an emergency prescription? Some local pharmacies can often help you out with this too :chin:
I wonder if you could find something to help distract yourself from the negative thoughts. We're here if you need to talk
I just cant let go of the past and i get angry with myself because of it and i end up hurting myself to get rid of my frustration but then i get frustrated and angry for hurting myself so i get really upset and then i get upset again....its like a vicious cycle.
Yes it did help me to post at that time in the night, i know it was a stupid thing because im sure no one wants to read it or even be up that late to even see it but i needed to just let it out and at the moment i am not okay - i didnt get out of bed till around 1pm because i just didnt have the energy or the motivation and because of running out of my medication i am having withdraw symptoms which consist of just being angry at everyone and everyone, feeling tearful and low and i had an argument this morning with my mum over something really small; basically i didnt like the programme she was watching on TV, at the time she was trying to catch up on the record box with shows she has missed over the pass few days due to work commitments and i just came downstairs and said mum can we watch something different and she said no and then i said please i dont like it and she said no jess, i wont be long as this show has nearly finished and i screamed PLEASE MUM and she got so pissed off and ran upstairs and went for a bath; i hate making other people upset but i dont know why i act like that, i think im just throwing my frustration onto others and i dont want to do that.
I have to visit my GP monthly to get a prescriptions so can talk further about if my medication needs to be changed or my dosage needs to be increased and i have been referred to see a behereavement counsellor but i dont know when i will actually get my first appointment - i guess i could call up the doctors surgery tomorrow and ask for an emergency appointment and also im getting really really bad headaches because of not having my meds.
When i have these negative thoughts i just feel like they consume me and make me feel completely hopeless and i start to feel really worked up, anxious, frustrated, really really low and upset and like i want to hurt myself; its shit and i also feel like there is no one who would listen to me and also feel like im going crazy and i will never be able to get out of this dark cloud.
Before posting this last night i tried contacting Childline but i just couldn't as i was crying so much and the rest of my family were all fast asleep so i was anxious that they would all be able to hear me on the phone so i didn't
Sorry for this being so long.
Taking sudden breaks in your medication will certainly affect your moods and it can be dangerous for you. I would encourage you to make an emergency appointment tomorrow if you can and book the next one after that in advance to make sure that you're not in this position again as it sounds really rough for you with the physical symptoms as well as feeling low and tearful and angry.
It's positive to hear that posting here helped a bit to get things off your chest and it sounds like having an alternative to using your phone late at night is also good for you.
I wonder what you might be able to do to help yourself relax before bed this evening?
Have you tried journalling at all? Just writing and letting whatever comes out fill the page... sometimes that can be a great release too.
Let us know how you're doing *hug*
-Jo7
I am going to come to support chat this evening and then after that im planning on catching up on Holby City and listen to some music and also have a shower.
Sounds like a good plan for the evening :yes:
Do you know who is modding support chat this evening?
How are you feeling today Hun? Sorry I've not spoken in a while x
Hi Hannah,
Im feeling better but really pissed off because called the doctors to book a doctors appointment as i have ran out of my medication and the doctor i normally see is on leave for 2 weeks so i have to see a different doctor but the earliest appointment is still not till next Thursday; i dont think can wait that long.
Does your doctors surgery do emergency appointments?x
I asked and they said as they are so busy they currently arent doing emergency appointments. x
Did you explain to them in brief?
Yes i did and all she could do was apologise. x
At least you have an appointment booked though.You can do this and you'll probably end up surprising yourself as to how much you've managed.
Stay strong and maintain your positives in life
Thank you Hannah x