Living in an abusive home

Former Member

I wouldnt call it an abusive home but its a very toxic environment. I dont feel safe here. Same with my little brother. Everytime he cries , everyone (my mom,dad and 2 older brothers) feel the need to scream at him . They just automatically scream at him which causes him to cry more. Im not really worried about me but its my brother im worried about. He shouldn't be living in this enviroment. a prime example of this is earlier today , my little brother (ill call him K) was throwing a fit and my 21 year old brother( ill call L) immediately started screaming at him & i dont like when they do that and they know that so i went over there and told him to stop and sat with K. L starts yelling at me because i "always het into things that arent my business" which i highly disagree. So i yelled back and started to say something i probably shouldnt of said so he started repeatedly punching me in the arm, i didnt care as long as he didnt hit K. L stopped but started again so my mom came and stopped him. Of course me being seen as the one that causes problems, she took his side. But when all that happened , i looked over to K and saw this terrified look on his face. I really don't want him to grow up like this. This happened again but with my dad. He has anger problems so when he had enough , he forcibly grabbed K out of my moms hands screaming at K but my mom holding on to him ,crying. I didn't want to cause anymore problems but i got tired and went over there but L pushed me back while he was telling dad to stop . K wanted me to grab him so i tried but dad just took him and threw him outside (not literally throw him) all while o was trying to grab him and take him away to my room. Eventually i did though. Am i really the one thats wrong here ? Is it wrong to standing up for K? I just dont want K and i to go through this anymore,because it happens very often, more than it should. Im sorry for this being so long but i just need some advice right now

JustV

Hey Canary. Welcome to the boards. :wave:

From what you've said, it sounds like you and K are going through a really tough time. It's very admirable to be looking out for your little brother in the way that you are, particularly as it doesn't sound like any of you are in a healthy environment. It definitely doesn't sound like you are in the wrong here either, although it is perfectly natural to be unsure when everyone seems to be going against you.

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Canaryrebel wrote: »

I dont feel safe here. Same with my little brother.

I think this is key here. Not feeling safe, especially in a home environment, must be really tough and I would imagine is making the situation that much harder to cope with? Being able to feel safe somewhere is really important and it's great that you've highlighted it. :yes:

Can I ask where you're based and how familiar you are with your local support services? For the shorter term, do you have anyone you and K can stay with? Maybe a close friend or another relative? Getting a break from these sorts of surroundings (even if it's only temporary) can really help while you try to fix a permanent solution.

Moreover, feel free to keep using this space to give us some more details and keep us updated, or even just to let off some steam if you ever need to. You made a really positive step reaching out here.

Wishing you the best