'Tinder fatigue' - unsuccessful experiences with online dating

JustV

*sigh* :rolleyes: ...


Hey all :wave:

Those of you familiar with online dating websites or apps like eHarmony or Tinder may have experienced, what's been coined as, 'Tinder fatigue' - how it might feel if you constantly use these websites and apps and seemingly just get unsuccessful matches. This can really knock someone's confidence and maybe even prevent them from trying to seek out partners in future.

So, I was wondering two things... :chin:

Firstly, whether anyone has experience of this that they'd be willing to share?

Secondly, how can confidence be rebuilt afterwards? Are there different/better ways to meet people?

It is widely debated whether or not online dating is inferior (or at least less healthy) than the 'old fashioned' or more traditional approach of face to face dating after getting to know someone slightly more organically. Where do you stand on this argument? We're keen to hear what you all think. :yes:

Former Member

Mike wrote: »

It is widely debated whether or not online dating is inferior (or at least less healthy) than the 'old fashioned' or more traditional approach of face to face dating after getting to know someone slightly more organically. Where do you stand on this argument? We're keen to hear what you all think. :yes:

I Can understand why it may be considered less healthy, I think with online dating sites people are trying to hard to get into relationships to the point where it actually consumes their lives, they get so obsessed with it and a lot of the time these people can come across as desperate

Personally for me I find it easier meeting people online either friends or relationships (granted I've never been intentionally looking and never used these websites, but I met my current girlfriend online)
For someone who has social anxiety and finds it hard to actually leave the house and go to places where one would normally look for dates, online is much more beneficial.

Former Member

I totally agree with Hiccup that it can be seen as an unhealthy habit of obsessively seeking a partner, especially as it is SUPER easy to use. Personally, before I getting out of bed in the morning I always check my emails; Facebook etc. and I am pretty sure a lot of people do this too - so they can also check Tinder. Not only is it easy to communicate with people but it's super easy to get responses from people and a comment about how pretty; attractive; likable you are to others especially if you have low self confidence may be really good.

However like every other form of seeking a partner (e.g. from friends; from work/ university etc.) it can take a SUPER long time for you to meet a person who is ideal to you and fits well with not only what you want but also fits with your life. Therefore I think it's important to just see life as a long journey whereby your bound to meet hundreds of people and it may not be as special if the first person you liked was the one for you, as it takes out spontaneous dates and the adventures of meeting all the other people.

JustV

Hiccup wrote: »

I Can understand why it may be considered less healthy, I think with online dating sites people are trying to hard to get into relationships to the point where it actually consumes their lives, they get so obsessed with it and a lot of the time these people can come across as desperate

I think there is some truth in this. What would you say separates the more obsessive users from the lighter, more infrequent users?

I really like what you and TheHebb said about meeting people online being much easier for someone who, for example, suffers with social anxiety or low confidence. I can personally relate to this as well, so your reply resonated with me quite a bit. Perhaps we could look at online dating as more of a tool to have on your belt than a strict way to socialise or meet love interests, or see it as more of a way to supplement an existing social life and IRL events?

TheHebb wrote: »

Therefore I think it's important to just see life as a long journey whereby your bound to meet hundreds of people and it may not be as special if the first person you liked was the one for you, as it takes out spontaneous dates and the adventures of meeting all the other people.

This is quite nice. Would you say that people focus a little too much on an 'endgame' so to speak, without considering the whole process and how it's bound to be a bit hit and miss in terms of partners? I also get the impression you like to see everyone as having something to bring in to your life, and that you're not just focusing on love interests. Is that fair to say? :chin:

Former Member

Yes definitely I think with all of the romantic comedies, pictures and the bombardment of "perfect relationships" people are striving for this, without actually considering their own lives.
Yes definitely I believe that other people can bring things into your life whether that is knowledge of other issues that they know about or more knowledge about yourself. I tend to live with the belief that there is no such thing as "mistakes" as such in people as I feel that without meeting certain people, whether that be a love interest, a friend, an acquaintance etc. I don't feel that you would learn as much about life as you do, and I feel that people have a map of their life already printed and that things happen that are supposed to happen.

Then again maybe I'm just a bit of an old romantic