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Girlfriend with anxiety depression and paranoia and my friends hate each other

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi my names Doug and I'm needing some help and advice about my girlfriend of 5 years. She has a condition of anxiety, paranoia and depression all combined and I'm finding it hard to cope with. We are currently arguing quite often usually always about the same thing which is my friends. I can't even mention their names to her without it triggering her anxiety and paranoia off. She's a few times asked me to chose between my friends and her during an attack which I'll never do because I love them both so much. She says things like if we ever get married she doesn't want them there and if we ever had a child she wouldn't want them having anything to do with it which hurts me massively. Can anyone help me with ways of helping her and myself?

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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,344 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Doug,

    Just to let you know I deleted your duplicate post in the Help Desk forum as that's generally where we keep posts relating to tech problems, and you'll definitely get a better response on this one. :thumb:

    Your situation really sounds like a tough one to know how to deal with, particularly with so many different factors affecting everything. It really isn't a good feeling when we feel like we're being made to chose between friends and a partner, too. Like you said, you love them both so it can feel like an impossible choice. It sounds like your girlfriend is in real need of support for everything she's going through - has she had any help with her mental health before? If not, a visit to a doctor can be a great first step as they can then refer her to further, more specialised support such as counselling.

    I also want to emphasise how important and positive it is that you mention helping yourself at the end of your post - a lot of people in this situation (me included, not so long ago) get almost blinded by the feeling that they need to help the other person in the situation that they forget about taking care of themselves. Self care is really important for supporting someone close to you and it sounds like you have great self awareness about it. :yes: In regards to this, do you have any outlets yourself? Maybe a close friend or family member that you can talk to about things?

    We have a Relationships Q&A service here at TheSite which may be of use - all questions submitted are anonymised and responded to within two working days by our trained advisors. Our sister website, Madly In Love, can also provide information and advice (as well as a space to discuss things) around mental health and relationships.

    Let us know how you're getting on. :)
    The truth resists simplicity.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's started getting medical help recently. She's seeing drs and a psychiatrist about it all. They've offered her a 6 week course 1 day a week to help her with her anxiety. Which she'll hopefully start soon.
    Yeah I've got close friends to talk to but they're the ones she hates. There's a lot gone on for it to get to that stage but it's both parties faults. Hers and my friends. So I'm kind of stuck in the middle.
    She constantly thinks I'm taking their side when I'm not , I'm just trying to balance things out so she sees their side but she won't take it in.
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