Relationship anxiety

Former Member

Hi, alright so i have anxiety and depression and am currently in a relationship but i don't know if i'm just being stupid or if there is actually something to worry about. My boyfriend is naturally a flirty person and he doesn't realize it most of the time. He platonically says he loves people which i understand because most people do. But he still speaks to two of his exes who both cheated on him and is quite flirty towards them (or it might just be normal and i'm being paranoid). Also when we had sex for the first time loads of rumors about what happened had been going round and i hadn't told anyone so i'm just assuming it was him even though i told him not to tell anyone because i had a panic attack after and didn't really want to be questioned about it because its not great with my anxiety.
I've also been feeling down, suicidal and anxious since we've been going out and i'm not sure if its just me or the relationship.
Please help i honestly don't know what to do.

JustV

Hey there,

Welcome to the boards, it's great to see you reaching out about this here.

This seems like a really tough situation. It sounds like you're feeling pretty worried, but everything you're thinking and feeling is totally valid and worth giving time to. It must be tough with your partner keeping in contact with his ex partners as well, particularly if it feels like they're flirting with each other. It sounds like your anxiety is providing to be a real barrier for you at the moment, too?

It doesn't sound like you've had much of a discussion around boundaries within your relationship; have you and your partner talked about this at all? For a lot of people, good communication can be a really important strand in a relationship, and is sometimes a great thing to exercise. This could then open doors in to discussing things like boundaries and expectations of the relationship if you ever needed to.

You mention you've been feeling down and suicidal as well as anxious recently, too - have you had any support around these issues before? If not, a visit to your doctor can be a great first step. They can then refer you to further support, should you need it. You can visit Samaritans if you ever find yourself in need of crisis support. We also have a relationships Q&A service here as well which could be of use. All questions submitted are confidential, can be anonymised and will be responded to by our trained advisors within two working days.

Of course, feel free to keep opening up on here and otherwise use this space in whatever way helps you the most.

All the best