Do you feel able to post your own threads?

Former Member

Hey :wave:

I noticed in the ranty thread this week a few of you were talking about things that stop you starting a new thread of your own, some of them were:

• It can feel easier to post in the ranty thread or 'I need a hug' thread as the focus isn't so much just on you
• The responses you think you'll get aren't what you're looking for
• You might feel that people feel obliged to reply, rather than being able to really understand your situation and relate to it, responses can feel generic
• Fear of judgement? Not being able to word things how you want to and then wanting to delete the thread

I thought it was worth starting a thread on this issue so we can help to reassure people about posting and see if there are other people that feel this way too?

We want to help you all feel able to post :yes: Remember, this place is really accepting so your posts don't have to be perfect, we can always ask questions if we're not sure about something you have said.

One thing to keep in mind when posting in a community like this is that there is an element of risk, of putting yourself out there and seeing what responses come back - it's then perhaps a case of taking what feels helpful on board and ignoring replies that aren't what you're after. I appreciate that's not always as easy as it sounds though!

From our point of view, we aim to make sure no threads are unreplied to and we have new volunteer mods joining the team all the time, different mods and members will bring their own experiences and ideas so as one of you mentioned, you may find you're pleasantly surprised if you do manage to post.

What else might put you off posting?

What might make it easier?

Be interesting to hear your thoughts

Former Member

I will point out that my reply (and my post in the ranty thread) is about boards in general and not just here:

I think sometimes, it depends what I really want out of a thread. Like I said in one my replies in the Ranty Thread, I don't always want or need a a reply. I just need somewhere to write down my thoughts. That being said, sometimes, a reply is nice. But some things really aren't for me, worth starting a thread over.

I've had replies elsewhere along the lines of "I don't understand what you mean". Replies like this can be so off putting and make me wonder why bother replying? I thnk it was Woth (and I agree) who said she doesn't like the kind of replies where people just give a hug and that's it. I don't either. So, I won't do that. I will, however, write my reply and then will give a hug.

Having been here for some years now, I can usually work out the kind of responses I'm going to get. That being said, I posted something recently in Health and didn't know what to expect. I got the responses I really needed.

Sometimes, I don't know what to expect with certain subjects. So for example, if I post a relationship question, I can usually work out from previous threads what I can expect.

Former Member

Tbh half the time I don't know where you're meant to post something, since there aren't that many different sections.
And then there's always gonna be certain things I don't think I'll ever make a post about just with the boards being public and that, nothing to do with responses etc
And I'm the same with Melian - the ranty thread etc I just tend to use if I don't really need a reply, I just need to put something out there

Former Member

Enchanted wrote: »

Tbh half the time I don't know where you're meant to post something, since there aren't that many different sections.

Post where you think is best. A mod will soon move it if they think it's suited elsewhere. I've found in the past, I've got a thread which can go in one of two forums. I mentioned this some years ago and was told to post in either. (not both) A mod will soon move it if they think it's better elsewhere.

Former Member

Melian wrote: »

Post where you think is best. A mod will soon move it if they think it's suited elsewhere. I've found in the past, I've got a thread which can go in one of two forums. I mentioned this some years ago and was told to post in either. (not both) A mod will soon move it if they think it's better elsewhere.

:yes: Couldn't have put it better myself!


Really interesting point about not necessarily wanting replies or getting the types of responses you're looking for Melian. I can see that the ranty thread might be good as a place to just get things out there without necessarily starting a conversation.

Former Member

It took me ages to even post my first thread but sometimes things still stop me from posting a thread It all depends Hannah.

Former Member

Totally going to have to echo what Melian said about the generic responses, like I know people see a simple hug, or even just replying in general to be a good thing, and don't get me wrong, if you've taken the time to reply, that's fab. But like when OP has sat there for ages...contemplating this one post, this one thread just to be told to explain it more, like nothing else just 'I don't understand, tell us more' - Like, why reply? Okay, okay, I get people are free to reply with whatever the m'larkey they want, but like even with the *hug*'s - It's often not just a 'hug' I'm looking for, more reassurance, etc. For example, the hug thread is pretty much the ranty thread version for health and well being - But because of the name it has, I guess that's where all the hug come from. Like don't get me wrong - like, thanks for giving me this pointless reply...But I've put so much effort into typing this, like just don't - Making it more unlikely for you to actually start a thread, you get me? Like most users know me well enough to just not bother...So guess it's ma own fault, lul.

And another point Melian bought up, which, I know you can't change, because it would be bizarre if you could, like I know the replies I'm going to get, I pour my heart out into a thread, and I know what replies I'm going to get, like where the fudge is the passion? The thought? No, there is non, it's just a reply...Like I know I'm one of those users who will hunt newbies threads down with the intention of replying, because newbie and all...

But like the opposite of what Melian said, like I do want a response, or I wouldn't go back to the hug thread or something to check, but I know it's pointless...and I guess starting you're own thread would make it more focus, meaning better responses and shit, like, just no, don't even go there...But that might be a TS age thing? - Like if you did a poll between newbies and older users, newbies would find posting slightly more easier than older users, like don't get me wrong every user is different, but like get where I'm coming from? No?

And like even with some moderators...It's like you read it and it's like no emotion, or anything, maybe that's me, I need passion in posts, like when you read it you know they've put thought into it. Same with users...But like maybe those replies are better for me? No emotion, means no relationship, and like kudo's for replying, but future don't bother, kinda thing? Omg, I'm like so emotional right now, so this reply will probs sound like ballocks to all.

But another thing I posted that in ranty thread, without a real focus to be on it, didn't really want it to be turned into a thread, like couldda asked...Or something as simple as that...But yeah, thanks.

Former Member

Basically, it a nutshell, there is pretty much fuck all you can actually do about it...Sorry matee!