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"Alone Time"- yes or no?

So after counselling today, I've came to the realisation that I enjoy spending time alone. Obviously I do enjoy and want company, but I've discovered I'm more of a "lone ranger".

Is it just me or has anyone else wanted to eg. go to the cinema or a café by themselves. I have but I've been too embarrassed to do so...... until today, currently I'm sitting in a cute little café in town, enjoying a hot chocolate whilst on my laptop..... I must admit I've really enjoyed it.

I was conscious that maybe people would think I'm weird, but after talking to my counsellor I've realised that it's not something I should be ashamed of.

I just wanted others opinions of people having "alone time" and whether you like "alone time" yourself? Do you feel it is socially acceptable to go to the cinema or sit in a coffee yourself (honest opinions would be much appreciated)??

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I 100% prefer being alone lol. Have the house to myself all this week apart from Christmas day and I am lovingggg it:p
    I have never gone somewhere like a cinema etc on my own though, but that's more because I'm too lazy and would rather stay at home;)
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    I'm definitely an alone-time person too. When I lived in Birmingham I never felt awkward about it, but I've found that where I live now people (e.g. servers in cafes etc) don't really get it and are completely phased when someone asks for a table for one! Admittedly chain places seem to be better with that, but I don't always want to go to a chain. In essence: I have no problem with it, but others think I'm weird.

    Try not to worry about what anyone else thinks and enjoy the time alone :) (but sitting in coffee might be a bit weird? :p)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I much prefer it. It means that I don't have to wait around for someone to turn up, I can leave whenever I want to, (although, a friend is really good with this) etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can definitely relate. Anyone that knows me will tell you I like spending most of my time alone, and I'm pretty sure that's because I find social situations quite tiring. I need to see other people from time to time of course but generally I'm more of a lone wolf because that's the only time I can completely relax.

    In terms of being out... I must admit I usually feel uneasy about going in to cafes or restaurants by myself, usually because I feel like there are eyes burrowing in to my head because I'm not with anyone. Though I feel kind of daft saying that because I know I wouldn't think anything of seeing someone on their own in a public place like that, so I guess it comes down to me being quite (socially) self conscious. I'd happily go to a cinema on my own I think, probably because there is far less of a social side to it and I can easily just sit in the theater knowing people most likely don't even know I'm there.

    Try not to worry about what others could be thinking if you can (because they most likely don't even care), spend your time in the way that you enjoy it the most. :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Glad to hear I'm not alone!

    I also feel uneasy about going to cafes or cinemas myself, but I feel I need to push myself in order to stay busy. I would be so much less restricted if I was able to.

    Although I went to a cafe in the city yesterday, now that I'm in my local town I feel unable to sit myself in a cafe (probably due to fear of seeing someone I know).

    The reason I'm considering this as an option is that being away from uni. is going to be a challenge (with my MH). And I know that when I have things to do I'm more likely to be able to cope (although that isn't always the case). Hence I'm looking for new options, plus I do enjoy being on my own sometimes!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think going to the cinema / cafe alone is pretty common. I do it.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,368 Part of The Furniture
    Great thread :thumb:

    I never used to really like alone time, but now I love it, it's so nice to have some 'me' time, and reflect on my life, and things. That being said I love the company of certain people :heart:

    Like in the past, way in the past I would never of gone to London on my own for the weekend, or even the little moments where I would go for a hot chocolate in a cafe on my own.




    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Great thread :thumb:

    I never used to really like alone time, but now I love it, it's so nice to have some 'me' time, and reflect on my life, and things. That being said I love the company of certain people :heart:

    Like in the past, way in the past I would never of gone to London on my own for the weekend, or even the little moments where I would go for a hot chocolate in a cafe on my own.


    Thats great *BananaMonkey* , good for you for becoming more confident in doing what you enjoy :heart:

    I also think there is a need for balance between alone time and spending time with others :yes:
  • Starry nightStarry night Incredible Poster Posts: 674
    Yeah, I've come to savour my own company. It sounds odd but I like sitting on the bus and just thinking, going to the cinema, going to restaurants on my own. I think the peace and quiet to do what you like, for what suits you is a great and precious luxury. Enjoy it guys!
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Yeah, I've come to savour my own company. It sounds odd but I like sitting on the bus and just thinking, going to the cinema, going to restaurants on my own. I think the peace and quiet to do what you like, for what suits you is a great and precious luxury. Enjoy it guys!

    I actually enjoy sitting on the bus too :) glad I'm not alone. Good for you for sitting alone in restaurants etc. wish I could do that!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »
    I also think there is a need for balance between alone time and spending time with others :yes:

    I agree. I briefly dated someone who just wanted contact all the time. I can't do that. I want some time alone too. I'm happy if I talk / see friends of mine a few times a month or something. Sometimes, there are some things which are nicer, imo, to do alone. That way, I can leave when I want.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Melian wrote: »

    I agree. I briefly dated someone who just wanted contact all the time. I can't do that. I want some time alone too. I'm happy if I talk / see friends of mine a few times a month or something. Sometimes, there are some things which are nicer, imo, to do alone. That way, I can leave when I want.

    Definitely, I feel like that with my first bf and I don't even think the contact is excessicve, guess I'm more of a "lone wolf"

    I've had more contact with people the past few days than I have in a while- makes me realise how much I apprecaite alone time. I find all this social conatct is very tiering and draining!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »
    So after counselling today, I've came to the realisation that I enjoy spending time alone. Obviously I do enjoy and want company, but I've discovered I'm more of a "lone ranger".

    Is it just me or has anyone else wanted to eg. go to the cinema or a café by themselves. I have but I've been too embarrassed to do so...... until today, currently I'm sitting in a cute little café in town, enjoying a hot chocolate whilst on my laptop..... I must admit I've really enjoyed it.

    I was conscious that maybe people would think I'm weird, but after talking to my counsellor I've realised that it's not something I should be ashamed of.

    I just wanted others opinions of people having "alone time" and whether you like "alone time" yourself? Do you feel it is socially acceptable to go to the cinema or sit in a coffee yourself (honest opinions would be much appreciated)??

    I am not sure which I prefer although it's conflicting really: I like being alone but then when I'm alone I think and worry even more, which does me no good! :crying: At the same time, I like being in company because it keeps me distracted yet even when I am surrounded by people I still feel alone. Hope this makes sense!

    Hannah xx
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072

    I am not sure which I prefer although it's conflicting really: I like being alone but then when I'm alone I think and worry even more, which does me no good! :crying: At the same time, I like being in company because it keeps me distracted yet even when I am surrounded by people I still feel alone. Hope this makes sense!

    Hannah xx

    Hi Hannah :heart:

    It does make sense to me, I actually feel similar myself. For me it depends if I'm content doing something or else I'm worrying and thinking about negative things. Although sometimes I ain't in the mood for doing anything!

    It's a tough one......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    Hi Hannah :heart:

    It does make sense to me, I actually feel similar myself. For me it depends if I'm content doing something or else I'm worrying and thinking about negative things. Although sometimes I ain't in the mood for doing anything!

    It's a tough one......

    Hey Amanda,

    Im glad it makes sense and that you can relate to it, it's very conflicting and confusing, isn't it?

    I know what you mean!

    Hannah xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I literally can't do anything like that alone - I do get on a bus on my own now but it makes me feel extremely anxious. I much prefer alone time so I walk a lot or I get the house to myself sometimes but I do prefer to be out. I imagine I'd have even more panic attacks if I attempted to go to a cafe alone or something like that.

  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    I literally can't do anything like that alone - I do get on a bus on my own now but it makes me feel extremely anxious. I much prefer alone time so I walk a lot or I get the house to myself sometimes but I do prefer to be out. I imagine I'd have even more panic attacks if I attempted to go to a cafe alone or something like that.

    Sorry to hear, I guess what everyone is comfortable with is different.

    I certainly wish I was more confident on being on my own in cafes etc.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072

    Hey Amanda,

    Im glad it makes sense and that you can relate to it, it's very conflicting and confusing, isn't it?

    I know what you mean!

    Hannah xx

    Yes very conflicting, it's nice to know I'm not the only one :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    Yes very conflicting, it's nice to know I'm not the only one :)

    Amanda,

    You're definitely right there! The truth is though, even if we may not always see it or believe it ourselves, no one is ever alone in anything!

    How are you?x
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072

    Amanda,

    You're definitely right there! The truth is though, even if we may not always see it or believe it ourselves, no one is ever alone in anything!

    How are you?x

    Yeah it is easy to forget, this is why websites like thesite are a good thing. It's amazing how people miles apart can share experiences!

    I'm okay thanks Hannah, things have been better the past few days!

    How are you? :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    Yeah it is easy to forget, this is why websites like thesite are a good thing. It's amazing how people miles apart can share experiences!

    I'm okay thanks Hannah, things have been better the past few days!

    How are you? :heart:

    Hi again Amanda,

    I'm so glad to hear things have been much better again for you for the past few days now-That's good! What have you been up to then?

    Yeah definitely hehe:heart:

    I am not too bad thank you...Got my psychiatric assessment tomorrow though xx
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072

    Hi again Amanda,

    I'm so glad to hear things have been much better again for you for the past few days now-That's good! What have you been up to then?

    Yeah definitely hehe:heart:

    I am not too bad thank you...Got my psychiatric assessment tomorrow though xx

    Hi Hannah,

    Good luck for your assessment! Glad to hear your okay though :)

    Not much just trying to stay busy- walked to the shops a few times, found a TV programme I'm hooked (kept me content for a bit). Nervous though for my psychology app. today, think I will be finding the outcome of my assessment (finally after 4 appointments).

    How about yourself?

    Nice to see you around the boards more :heart:

    Take care xx
  • Cat88Cat88 Moderator Posts: 377 Boards Initiate
    Hey guys, just wanted to check in and give you a bit of a perspective on this. At work we did a personality assessment thing which was designed to help us better understand ourselves and how we work best.

    One of the spectrums it measured us on was Introvert v Extrovert, but this didn't didn't mean the slightly stereotypical view of these words where an introvert is seen as anti-social and an extrovert as in-your-face, it was more about how you "recover energy" - i.e.an extrovert "recovers energy" by being around other people, whereas an introvert might prefer alone time.

    Interestingly, very confident, outgoing people could still be introverts because they "recharge" by being on their own, and equally very quiet people at work could be extroverts because they relax/recharge better by being around people.

    Just thought this might add some perspective on why some people like alone time more than others :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Cat88 wrote: »
    Hey guys, just wanted to check in and give you a bit of a perspective on this. At work we did a personality assessment thing which was designed to help us better understand ourselves and how we work best.

    One of the spectrums it measured us on was Introvert v Extrovert, but this didn't didn't mean the slightly stereotypical view of these words where an introvert is seen as anti-social and an extrovert as in-your-face, it was more about how you "recover energy" - i.e.an extrovert "recovers energy" by being around other people, whereas an introvert might prefer alone time.

    Interestingly, very confident, outgoing people could still be introverts because they "recharge" by being on their own, and equally very quiet people at work could be extroverts because they relax/recharge better by being around people.

    Just thought this might add some perspective on why some people like alone time more than others :)


    This is very interesting Cat88, thanks for sharing :)

    I never thought of it in that way, but it makes sense!
  • Cat88Cat88 Moderator Posts: 377 Boards Initiate
    No worries, happy to help :) I've passed it on a few times to help people not to worry about preferring one or the other :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    Hi Hannah,

    Good luck for your assessment! Glad to hear your okay though :)

    Not much just trying to stay busy- walked to the shops a few times, found a TV programme I'm hooked (kept me content for a bit). Nervous though for my psychology app. today, think I will be finding the outcome of my assessment (finally after 4 appointments).

    How about yourself?

    Nice to see you around the boards more :heart:

    Take care xx

    Heya,
    I only have a couple of weeks left on CL now and need to try to settle myself more here.I'm gonna spend time here and there-Get myself more settled and hopefully very soon feel more of a part of TS:)
    How are you feeling?x
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072

    Heya,
    I only have a couple of weeks left on CL now and need to try to settle myself more here.I'm gonna spend time here and there-Get myself more settled and hopefully very soon feel more of a part of TS:)
    How are you feeling?x


    Hi Hannah,

    I already feel you've became a good part of TS community and hopefully soon you will feel even more so *hug*

    Sounds very difficult, we are here when you need to chat and feel free to post whenever :heart:

    I used Childline a few times (not for as long, as much as you and didn't really use their boards) but I stopped about 2 months ago altogether as I also turn 19 in a couple of weeks.

    Feeling a bit better thank you xx

    Keep in touch,

    Amanda
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Amanda,

    Awh that's so lovely Hun, thank you for that.

    Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better-Still feeling that way now?

    Ah bless, when is your birthday then? :)

    Hannah *hug*:heart:
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    For me personally it completely varies, I do think people should take time to themselves, for example, go have a cuppa in costa and just relax, I legit thought it was a norm. Like here and back home people go to cafes read news papers or like you said go on their laptop. But I would prefer going with friends, I would like to think I am quite a social person when I need to be, or in my group of friends and I feel more comfortable sitting back in costa or some place with friends chatting amongst themselves, but would never go to the pictures alone or anything like that, but that could be down to the fact that I'm not a cinema person and to me it seems like a social thing to do, but every time I've been there have been people just sitting around watching and snacking away, and I've never had a second thought about it.

    But I love alone time when I can have it, but I prefer it in bed ;) - Whereas opposed to activity things like above I'm more of a come out with me or I'm not going kinda person!
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