Is she using me

Former Member

I work in a female dominated environment where I'm the only bloke apart from two others. When I first started a year ago I started to develop feelings for one of my female work colleagues she's a little older then me at 32 where I'm only 25, so even though I knew she wouldn't be interested in me after half a year of working there I got the courage to tell her I liked her. She said she only liked me as a friend, which I knew would be her answer even so it took a few months of heartache to get over her.

After that things were great we got on really well and one day after we attended a training course she give me a lift back to work but the next day certain colleagues started telling me that she's always slagging me of and that she hates me, the next day she said it wasn't true and its just people trying to make trouble we spent that day pretty much around each other putting smiles on one a others faces, we ended the shift with a hug. A week later she just avoided me complete cold shoulder so I asked her if everything was alright as I noticed the difference in her and her reply was that it's got nothing to do with me and I need to grow a pair.

I knew she'd been not well so I just left it as that. We started to got on again for a few weeks then she told me that she only wanted to talk to me if it was about work, so I said OK and that's how it went all the gossip had already died down but by her saying this all the gossip started up again, I'd gotten over her and started seeing someone I'd met online. I was happy and getting back to being myself. Back at work the colleague who said she only wanted to talk if it was about work slowly started to talk to me a lot more always seeming to be around and conversation of non work related stuff started to happen again things were getting back to how there were and we were getting along with each other once again, she opened up to me about how she's sick of being ill and she is going home on her own and breaks down as she's been ill non stop for three years, i tried to comfort her and she seemed to of appreciated it, the following week she got took to hospital and i was really worried about her and said to one of her friends at work i wanted to go and visit her in hospital if shed let me. Following week she was back and we were getting on good then she started being different once again and told me things were getting to much and I'm always around she threatened me by saying don't ever come and visit me in hospital or my house or there be be serious trouble, then said we friends at work but that all.

It really seems like she's playing games with my mind and heart we get on great then she pushes me away, it a loop always happening, and I don't know wot to do.

Former Member

She seems to be a bit of a two faced co worker. with all honesty I would say she isn't worth the attention. You care so much for this woman even if you have gotten over her and she just needs to be a little bit more appreciative. I would suggest keeping your distance from her and definitely speak to HR. You seem like a sweet guy and she's a fool not to see it.

Former Member

Thanks I take a look at that link. Its very confusing and so anoying. My problem is she probably knows that deep down I still have feelings for her and she knows I'd come runing at her beck and call. I need to stop being so thoutful of other people's feelings and but mine first

Former Member

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Former Member

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Former Member

Just back off mate. You are seeing someone else and she clearly does not want anything more to do with you. Tell her you agree with her that it's best that you keep everything professional and work related. And you can bet your ass that she talked shit about you and it's not just some people trying to "start trouble". I wouldn't say she is "using" you as she is not getting anything out of you, but she is rude and you don't need this shit. Back off and don't let be an ass to you.

Skive

She sounds like a pain in the arse.