feeling bad for wanting space

Former Member

hey.
So Ive been avoiding my mate cause since shes moved closer to me I just cant get rid of her. She walks into my house and talks about the same topics over and overagain. Puts me in awkward situations such as ive been ripped off by scam people because she promised they were legit. Plus she always butts in my conversations with other people. I started locking my doors and pretending not to be in just to get some peace. its a shame cause we were such good friends at first 3 years ago but she just started freeking s me out so now I put my hood up whenever I see her and walk a distance away. But now when I see her she gives me evils and Im sure she talks about me behind my back. what would you do? Any advice?

Former Member

Just turning up to your house is pretty rude.

I do think you need to talk to her and tell her what is and what isn't acceptable.

Former Member

Sounds like you got rid of her now. Not by employing the best strategy available, but she does sound rather unpleasant.

Former Member

Hey lacey88 :wave:

I think it's quite a common thing, for us to feel a bit irritated by anyone we spend too much time with. It sounds like your friend isn't really respecting your boundaries, by turning up unannounced. It can feel annoying - especially when their behaviour rubs us up the wrong way.

People can sometimes overstep the mark, and this could be because they don't pick up on social cues too well. With some people, it can be a good idea to think about letting them know you need your own personal, private space back - without offending them. You could say you have an appointment/work to do/or you might need to call your family - anything that would indicate you need to be on your own.

It sounds like you have avoided confronting them, and by ignoring them, they are probably feeling hurt. If you would like to keep this person in your life, the best thing to do would be to apologise for ignoring them, reassure them that you do like their company, but you need to feel like you have a more balanced life/have a few other commitments - and suggest you hang out every couple of weeks, or whatever you feel ok with.

Hope that helps!

Former Member

I agree with @Tamsinjo. I think people don't realise sometimes if they're being annoying, and she may be mortified if she knew. It sounds like she's taken offence to you ignoring her, so I'd suggest having a conversation with her. Say you have a lot going on and can't see her as much anymore, for now.

It's tough when friendships are unbalanced like this, but communication is always the way forward so you're on the same page.