Guys who won't commit

Former Member

I'm a freshman in college and I've had some really shitty experiences with guys. This has happened twice to me. I start talking to a guy and it seems to be going really well. We both mutually express that we are looking for a relationship, but don't want to rush it. Weeks go by of us dating. It's great, they treat me right and make me laugh. I see a future with him. We eventually become exclusive, then out of the blue they say I don't want a relationship. One of the guys told me he never wanted one. Even though he pursued me. I'm just really confused and frustrated as to first of all why they waste my time and secondly why they can't just commit to me. The second guy told me he really liked me but just didn't want to be exclusive. And then proceeded to tell me there was no one else he was interested it. (Clearly a lie). It just makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Any advice?

Former Member

So why was that clearly a lie? It's college! Maybe these guys just want to hook up and have casual sex and decided to bounce when they figured out you are not up for it. Either you keep looking for someone who actually does want a relationship blindly, or you are upfront with what you are looking for early on.

You should not take these things personally. If you see every rejection as a fault in you there is only so long you keep going until you you feel completely worthless and need time to recuperate your self-esteem. Sometimes people just don't click and it's nobody's fault.

Former Member

@A wannabe College guys are very young, so most of them dont think about long term relationships at that age (there are exceptions, of course). Usually they want to experiment and meet different people, and that's what most teenagers do. This has nothing to do with you personally, so please dont blame yourself nor think that you are not good enough. Its simply not true! You are great, I'm sure!

The best thing for you to do right now would be to take some time off. Take a break to relax from thinking about these guys and everything else for a bit (maybe get a massage, or just do something you like). This break is the time to take care of yourself. We are at our most attractive when we are happy with ourselves, after all.