How do I approach her?

Former Member

I'm in my 2nd year at University and recently started back in September. This year a girl that I used to speak to every now and again last year has started staring at me from afar and when I'm not looking. This term our timetable has changed meaning we both no longer cross paths as much as we used to last year and I have been unable to talk to her. I've been recently suspecting that she has a crush on me which confuses me as we are both female and a couple of months ago I saw her with a guy so I'm even more confused.

We have different groups of friends so it makes it hard for me to approach her and ask her how she's been or why she keeps staring at me since she is almost always with them. I have no idea whether she's gay or bi or not.

I've been trying to bump into her and ask her how she's been but haven't been able to so far this term. How do I go about approaching her?

Former Member

Hi Redfox, welcome to the boards! :wave:

Its a tricky one isn't it - because it's now harder than it was before to see her or bump into her !:banghead:

You never know what she feels and it's always good to go with your gut, but it does seem a little confusing indeed, especially if she's often with this guy.

You say you have different groups of friends, but do you know any of her mutual friends at all? Trying to find out extra information about her from mutual friends could help - or even trying to bump into her when there are occasions/parties where you know her group of friends will attend?

Otherwise, if you really want to get in touch with her, would you consider getting in touch with her via social media? It could all start innocently as friends and then see from there what she's like and how she responds.

Do let us know how you get on :yes:

Former Member

There is no advice that makes this easy. You just have to summon some courage and do it. Once you have that courage, it does not matter where or how you talk to her. You don't need to find her alone. Just go over to her when she is in her group and say Hi to her. Catch up a bit. Say you miss talking to her (does not need to be true), just something nice to break the ice. Just talk whatever comes to your mind (the class you are in, whatever).

What else do you wanna do? Are you bi/gay? Do you find her attractive? Or do you just wanna find out/be friends with her? Ask her if she wants to go out/hang out/meet up. If she is interested there is no way she says no to that. Swap numbers, bam, contact is easy now. Everything from there on is child's play if she indeed has a crush on you. It's basically a won game if you don't fuck it up.