How would you describe depression?

Former Member

Came across this image on Twitter recently:

Attachment not found.

People living with depression often have a much richer vocabulary for what it feels like. This rarely matches how professionals or society describe depression, as it’s such an individual feeling.

Would you say that depression has one single definition that we can all go by? Or is it a subjective illness that can only be felt by the person experiencing it?

Perhaps you could share your own thoughts or opinions on what depression feels like :chin:

Former Member

Personally depression feels like someone has sucked all life out of me and thrown some negative thoughts in my head, chained me tight to some railings and told me to stay there because im not good enough and i have to un chain/un lock myself and find a way to get out and it is really hard to find the strength and ideas to unlock myself or you could also describe it as a really hard maze with a lot of dead ends but you have to focus and concentrate really hard to find that right path but that right path leads to another maze so you have to start again and those dead ends are like the parts when your depression is extra bad.

I dont know if that makes any sense but thats what it feels like to me.

Former Member

5% sadness
5% hopelessness
5% self loathing
85% the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry.

There is a little bit of feeling like shit, but mostly there is the feeling of nothing.

Self loathing might be a little higher when I hear others talk, though. I have a great family, a great husband, a really good, well paying job with amazing coworkers (so important, since you spend more time at work than home) but there is nothing. You have a great life, just be happy, they say. Pick yourself up. But there is nothing. It isn't necessary sadness or helplessness. It is just nothing.

Former Member

Those are some interesting descriptions. Both individual and subjective..

@jpeople111 The description of being stuck in a maze makes sense yes :yes:

@Bedtime Bear it sounds like your description is almost like being stripped of any feelings at all?

How about anyone else? Would you describe it differently? :chin:

Former Member

Not officially diagnosed with depressions but I'm pretty sure I have it......... like the second pie chart describes well how I feel. I see I hope for the future, things will be a disaster in my mind. It used to just be a fear (anxiety) but now I believe it.

"Isolation" - recently been wanting to be alone. Sometimes I feel really down and just dont want to be around people (even friends).

I do agree sadness plays a part, but it's so much more- most people who have never experienced it do not understand. It's a viscous cycle, I know that logically but just can't convince myself enough to break that cycle.

Most people don't understand it's not as easy as "looking on the bright side of life"- I'd say don't you think I would have tried that?

I'd also describe it as "loosing a sense of who you are".

Former Member

Another different and interesting way to describe it @Past User

Would you say that the ‘bright side’ exists in depression, but it takes great effort to overcome and get there?

When you say ‘losing a sense of who you are’, I think of knowing that you’re you but feeling unable to relate to anything about you or around you – would anyone else agree?

Former Member

The paint on my walls is really cracked.
Because I remember all the hours I've spent lying in bed staring at the walls and ceiling thinking that.

I'd also say losing my identity and my sense of appropriate social behaviour. After the longer bout of depression, I was a completely different person to how I was before - I'd say some years on I'm still trying to get back that sense of self I had before.

Former Member

raich wrote: »

Another different and interesting way to describe it @Past User

Would you say that the ‘bright side’ exists in depression, but it takes great effort to overcome and get there?

When you say ‘losing a sense of who you are’, I think of knowing that you’re you but feeling unable to relate to anything about you or around you – would anyone else agree?

I think I'd agree, my counsellor tells me it's like my views are clouded and I agree. I can give reasons against my thoughts logically but my mind and feelings overtake and I can't believe them. It makes me feel bleak.

I mean I know longer know myself as I don't enjoy things I'd used to in the past. But that's another good point- I do feel unable to relate as you said.

I also feel as though it's changed me. I feel like a bad person for things I think, which I'd never dream of in the past!

Former Member

Just hell

Former Member

I find it really difficult to describe. I've had it more than once and each time, it's been different.

Former Member

It seems depression can have a more long-term impact as well, rather than just during the experience from your point of view @Past User – would you say that it’s like a piece of you gone missing?

Another interesting perspective @Past User

When you say ‘hell’ @Brandy , it sounds like a place of great suffering?

It’s not always easy to describe @Melian , but interesting that you say it’s been a different experience each time :chin:

Former Member

I'm diagnosed with BPD and not depression, but like even with BPD you do have the moments of feeling in a nutshell 'Depressed' - With me, personally, depression feels like a curdling sensation that takes over your entire body, the reason you don't wish to bother any-more, depression stops you from picking up the phone because just reaching out for it is too much effort, despite it being right next to you, depression is the reason I miss weeks of Uni till I choose to go back, depression is something I fail to control, you don't choose to feel it, you don't want to feel the way you do, but it just happens. Everything illogical sounds logical and nothing makes sense, your thoughts become a blur, you isolate yourself because it's far to much effort getting yourself to even socialize with people, you leave the lights of in your room to stop people walking in so you don't have to talk to them, you pretend to sleep when you hear knocking at your door, going down the stairs to make food almost feels like the hardest challenge there is. Well, that's what depression feels like for me. Something beyond my own control.

Former Member

WhispersOfTheHeart wrote: »

I'm diagnosed with BPD and not depression, but like even with BPD you do have the moments of feeling in a nutshell 'Depressed' - With me, personally, depression feels like a curdling sensation that takes over your entire body, the reason you don't wish to bother any-more, depression stops you from picking up the phone because just reaching out for it is too much effort, despite it being right next to you, depression is the reason I miss weeks of Uni till I choose to go back, depression is something I fail to control, you don't choose to feel it, you don't want to feel the way you do, but it just happens. Everything illogical sounds logical and nothing makes sense, your thoughts become a blur, you isolate yourself because it's far to much effort getting yourself to even socialize with people, you leave the lights of in your room to stop people walking in so you don't have to talk to them, you pretend to sleep when you hear knocking at your door, going down the stairs to make food almost feels like the hardest challenge there is. Well, that's what depression feels like for me. Something beyond my own control.

Very well put, really resonated with me.

Former Member

Thank you for sharing that @WhispersOfTheHeart - it sounds an all-consuming experience for you and takes over even the smallest day to day things.

Former Member

Really, to me, it feels purely like feeling alone in a crowd of friends. I've had it diagnosed for three years now and it comes back once in awhile and I just feel like I am an annoyance to my friends and that nobody truly cares if I am there. People without it, not to be stereotypical, are usually disrespectful and say it is stupid and people should just get over it. Yes, i've heard my friends say that. They aren't really my friends, just my social group, and that's how depressed people think, or atleast me. I have great difficulty trusting anybody, even a girlfriend, because of some of the lies my ex told me (lied of overdosing and being raped, several times). That is how it feels, like being alone in a crowd of friends. While you just want to blossom and be free, you just can't as easily as the person beside you.

Former Member

My experience with depression, anxiety & anti social personality disorder is like being given a life sentence.

Former Member

Thank you for your insight @thatoneguy - it sounds like you might describe it as a place of isolation?

@starlightx0x your description also sounds like a place of great suffering?

Former Member

It is Raich.