Think I am slipping back to depression

Former Member

So I haven't been on the site in a long time now and have been doing really well. I have previously suffered with depression and never thought I would get as low as I was before. I haven't got that low but can feel myself slipping and it is really scary. I have recently broken up with my girlfriend and that was the hardest breakup I have ever experienced and ever want to experience. It was the right decision for her and I respect that and we are both still friends and want to be in each others lives.

So basically I have had to move back home and this is so so hard at 23 and feeling like I am a child. I am scared that I am going to slip lower and I don't know what to do x

Former Member

Hi Lauren, good to see you posting here, you're always welcome back any time you need a bit of support.

I'm really sorry to hear about your break up - moving back home and coping with the loss of your relationship is bound to be causing feelings of sadness and you're scared that these could lead to deeper depression, something you have experienced and come out of in the past. What I hear there is that you have been able to manage your depression in the past so there's no reason why you won't be able to do that again. It might help to think back and identify things that helped before - that might be talking, exercising, baking, doing things that you enjoy for yourself?

A question that is also coming to my mind is about finding that difference between your real feelings related to this change in your life and what might be depression? You mention you feel yourself slipping? Can you tell us a bit more about that and what it feels like for you?

Finding yourself back at home can be tough too, it can feel like a step backwards as you say but another way of looking at it is that it's a safe sanctuary for you to take some time to heal and in fact, a useful stepping stone for you to step out independently again in the future.

What sorts of things are you doing to keep yourself busy? Have you got friends you can talk to about it? Coping with a break up can often involve plenty of talking, letting your brain process everything that's happened. Let us know how you're doing.

Big hug *hug*

Former Member

Thank you Jo. I am trying to keep myself busy and doing the things I enjoy. I obviously am sad about the break up but how I differentiate depression and just being sad is the fact that what I am starting to feel is something which is taking over my whole life and I can't shrug the feeling of feeling low and like I am going to cry all the time. I try and bring myself back up and it is a very short time that I manage to feel happy again. I just feel trapped into this hole of negativity that I try and get out of but find it really really hard.

Finding myself back home is awful. Since coming home I no longer have my old bedroom either and have been moved to the box room so it doesn't even feel like I have my own space. It is nice to be around my family but I feel like i have to tell them where I am all the time and as I am 23 this is hard and makes me feel like a child again.

I feel like it is one thing after another as I love going horse riding to relax and as an escape but last week I had a really bad fall off a horse and have had to give him up as a loan and can't exercise or ride at the moment which is a huge escape for me. I do talk to my best friend but feel I just go on and on and I am not one who is very good about in person opening up about how I feel.

I just feel so negative and I hate this side to me. It all feels so hard x