please i need advice/help

Former Member

ive been pretty stupid! i had sex with a friend who didnt tell me n i didnt realise he was engaged! but he still went along with it!! im so so stupid, ikno for a fact he wont tell her obviously & I certainly am not because she is a friend to me and shes murder me Idk what to do or who to tell i cant tell anyone i know because everyone will hate me!

Former Member

Put it down to experience and don't do it again, everyone makes mistakes. And make sure you get a sexual health check up.

Former Member

Hi life_can_be_hard,

Sorry to hear this has happened - must be quite upsetting if you truly didn't know he was engaged - and if he is your friend, he betrayed your trust. It doesn't seem like his fiancee will find out if no one says anything, but it doesn't mean this won't affect you and that the guilt will be at the back of your mind.

Have you had a proper conversation with him about it? Is he someone you want or was this completely a mistake? Perhaps exploring your feelings about what happened and about him could help you understand why this happened - and whether you want more or whether it can truly be forgotten?

Good luck and do let us know how you get on *hug*

Former Member

Hi Christele
​ik he is someone i want n i should but id proberly do it again im so silly falling for some1 who in a relationship idek if he likes me back haah

Former Member

Hey there life_can_be_hard :wave:

Im sorry you have a crush one someone who is quite unavailable to you. Its really hard to accept that we like someone that being with, may never happen.

I wonder if you have managed to have a chat with him about what happened and if this was something he feels badly about? It might help you get sense of where he is, and then you can start to make sense of your own feelings. It can be a messy situation, especially when you think you have feelings for the other person. Talking to him would be the best way to reflect on what happened and where you can go from there. You're not silly at all - I think there are plenty of people out there that have had feelings for people they probably shouldn't - so you're not alone. You can;t help how you feel - it's natural and beyond your control. :yes:

You mentioned you would probably do it again - but perhaps you might want to think about your female friend, and how it would feel for her if she knew you were going behind her back with her fiancee? He shouldn't be playing away, and if he is, then he may have some issues going on in his relationship, but by betraying trust in both you and her, he may cause more harm.

It's tough, but if you put yourself in her shoes, you may find yourself less likely to want to do something like this again.

Let us know how you get on :yes:

Former Member

hi Tamsinjo. i did he doesnt feel bad it about it but then again why would he like it was my idea but at the time he didnt have a girlfriend never mind engaged but tbh we never got chance and when we did it he was engaged like wow.. yes i know and i know how she would feel too! I Dont intend to do it again or ima try not obviously..