Women and Men only chats - have your say

Former Member

Hey everyone :wave:

As you probably know, for a couple of months now we've been running separate men-only and women-only chats in place of normal support chat every other Tuesday.

We explained the thinking behind these chats when we announced them back in July (see the women-only chat announcement and the men-only chat announcement). The basic idea is to help make sure you guys (and future members) have as much choice as possible when it comes to finding support - we know from our research that gender-specific spaces work really well for some people.

While some of you seem to like these new chats, we're aware that for others, men only and women only chats haven't been a comfortable addition to the schedule.

It's totally okay to feel unsure about these chats, but it's really important that those conversations stay out of chat as they tend to prevent everyone from getting support during the session.

Of course James and I are always more than happy to discuss any worries/thoughts about chat via PM, but we'd also like to start a bit of a discussion here to get an idea of where everyone is coming from.

So, this is a chance to have your say.

What do you think of these chats? What do you like about them? Do you have any concerns?

Former Member

I can't make a comment on the male only chat due to not being a male, but they seem to always have a theme judging by the threads.
Women only chat on the other hand, seems to be complaining about the two chats, people being told to change their names, arguing that it's not fair on those who are gender non conforming. Maybe girls just complain more who knows??

But anyway, maybe if the girls chat was structured like the mens it would be better? I feel like we'd benefit from some of the subjects they've had, like confidence and relationships and stuff.

Former Member

Hiccup wrote: »

But anyway, maybe if the girls chat was structured like the mens it would be better? I feel like we'd benefit from some of the subjects they've had, like confidence and relationships and stuff.

:yes:

Former Member

Ah okay, so some themes would be helpful to focus these chats a bit more for the women too - we added them into the men's chats after doing research as to what was more likely to appeal to them.

Both chats are new and a work-in-progress so this is a great chance to help us try some things out and shape them going forward.

We could try a theme for the next one perhaps.. any other themes you'd like to see Hiccup, or anyone else?

Confidence, relationships...

:chin:

Former Member

I like the idea of themes too but maybe not every week, it could alternate between a topic and then how women only chat has been so far. I think communication could be a good topic because you can relate that to quite a lot of things in life.

I do like these chats, I think it's relieving to have one where we can talk about stuff we might feel uncomfortable talking about with guys around :yes:

Former Member

I agree with butterfly :yes: - like the idea of themes, but would prefer it to alternate between themes and current chat!

I think "communication" would be a good chat too, as its a broad area that a lot of people could benefit from! Also "confidence", as it could be useful for people in different ways e.g, some confidence may be an issue but it could be useful indirectly for people going for job interviews!

Former Member

This is all really interesting everyone, keep the comments coming!

So a few of you like the idea of having a themed chat once a month (in alternate WoCs), maybe starting with communication and confidence. How does that sound to everyone else?

Hiccup wrote: »

Women only chat on the other hand, seems to be complaining about the two chats, people being told to change their names, arguing that it's not fair on those who are gender non conforming.

This feels like an important point. As Jo said, these chats are very much a work in progress, so we haven't nailed it yet. We're open to suggestions/ideas!

When it comes to people who don't think of themselves as either male or female (or as having strong elements of both), we think it's a case of choosing the chat where that person would feel most comfortable. So for example, if someone presents as female but identifies as male, they're welcome to join men only chat. In the same way, if someone presents as male but identifies as female, they're welcome to join women only chat. If someone doesn't feel comfortable in either, then it's always possible to come back the next day. Obviously, that's not ideal, but these chats only happen once in every 10 days that chat is running.

Does that make sense?

Former Member

hey folks - it's women/men only chat tonight - we wont have any specific themes tonight but remember you guys can suggest topics in the chat whenever you'd like to and we'll continue giving the format some more thought. Do keep sharing feedback if you have any.

This is your space.

Mixed support chat is on as normal the rest of the week :thumb: