If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
'What's your background story?'
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
.
0
Comments
For all 18 years of my life, I have been living in a small town just outside of Glasgow- mostly overrun by charity shops and hairdressers. But what I love best about where I live is that I can enjoy the beautiful scenery around me
As a child I was extremely shy, didn't have any friends throughout a lot of stages of my life. I still remember being that 4 year old starting school who preferred her own company. I still have dreadful memories of my parents interrogating me as to whom I sat next to at lunch etc. etc. Anyways, my parents were right "I would want friends when I'm older".
Making friends was never easy for me..... I didn't know what to say, how to approach someone, always worried people would judge me, thought people wouldn't like me. I was the outcast :crying:
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I did have a so-called "friend" in primary 6. Notice how I use inverted commas around "friend", I will explain. Only in the past year have I been able to admit to myself that she "bullied me". I feared that girl but most of all I feared "being alone" so I continued to label her as my "friend". This "frienship" contniued into my second year of high school. Things happened, parents found out etc. and eventually I ended the "friendship", (due to pressure from my parents). I felt a massive weight off my shoulders. Thing is I had now had no friends. I remember dreading school, unlike most teens I preffered classes to lunch break. I would quickly eat some lunch in the hall before leaving ASAP. I would walk circuits around my school at to pass time....seeing all the other kids hanging around in groups laughing. I felt miserable
Plus being a easy target didnt make things any easier. People would come up talk to me, say friendly things in a babyish voice just to impress their friends and then wind me up. I'd hear people say my name followed by laughing -it was horrible :banghead:
Little did I know that one day would change my life.....forever! The start of our chosen subjects, this lovely girl asked to sit next to me. I didn't believe it "someone wanted to sit next to ME?!?!". She invited me to hang around with her friend group at lunchtimes. At first, I didn't go as I deserved to- thinking "nobody would want to been seen with me". Gradually we all became friends. These girls are now my current best friends. Although, it started off as just some company, I gained their friendship for being me. Now they are my friends because they want to be, not because they pity me :nod: Which makes me feel happy! :thumb:
Gradually my confidence improved a lot. I still struggle, but things have improved drastically. Previously I couldn't physically talk to anyone :nervous:
Anyways, time to start talking more positively. So I started volunteering when I was 14 at my local library. I was part of a new initiative of teens who would work with children throughout their summer reading challenge. We did various tasks, from signing up children, designing posters, decorating the children's section, assisting staff at the events and talking to the parents about "The Summer Reading Challenge". I volunteered 3 summers.Also one summer I volunteered at the British Heart Foundation in the stock room. During my final year of school I enjoyed volunteering with children & young people at special needs school! I loved seeing the smiles on their faces, it was so rewarding!
Got my first job interview at a care home prior to my 17th birthday! I got the job
So I thought I'd conclude my story with a few random facts:
I've only been abroad once (other than visiting England a few times). Went to turkey when I was 8 with my nan, papa and cousin! Unfortunately I caught food poisoning whilst there
I've still kept my "House of Commons" headed letter from my MP, after winning run up in a Christmas Poetry competition in primary 7.
When I was 12 I was an "extra" in an advert for a Scottish bank- felt really weird but exciting to see myself on TV!!
Two years ago I went on a ferry for the first time to Arran- as part of my advanced higher biology course we did some very (NOT SO) technical experiments- consisting of throwing quadrats and counting different plant species up a hill!! Oh and i made a shocking discovery during this trip........ our dorm rooms had a door leading to a classroom (marked "fire exit"). I was a daredevil for the first time ever
I started using thesite two months ago! Recently I've been struggling with mental health problems - low mood and anxiety! I can't explain how much thesite has changed my life so far ..... its been a good outlet, I've taken positive steps I would have never before, its made me feel less alone too! Plus they have so many good, informative articles! Also I enjoyed connecting with various people!
Your next big step is starting university, and I know the apprehension and anxiety you face, but remember you won't be the only one who is new. Each year, new students start their advanced courses and I remember even when I came to do a talk at one uni, how helpful its administrative staff were. On entering the uni's refectory I found the crowded busy place a bit daunting, but on zeroing in on the food, grabbing a tray and tucking in soon blew away and anxieties. I am sure you will be okay on the day! :yippe:
Very good story which shows sometimes things aren't as daunting as they seem! Hopefully things will work out okay, I guess everyone's nervous first day at uni. I just need to stop myself from getting too caught up in my anxieties
If it helps.... every day, but mostly at night is when anxiety strikes. For that is when alone, all I can do is zone out listening to music, while remembering the good times I had with my young family of rowdy teenage girls and friends. It's all we can do in taking one day, or one night at a time. Once morning comes, the night before gets forgotten. "Live to fight another day" was Mummy's motto.
Looking back to last winter, my greatest fear was launching myself off a mountain when helskiing. My ski buddy was there and she said GO! Come one - let's go! and then she was gone. Tummy quaking, I followed and then the glorious powder snow took over to give me the ride of my life, all the way down into pillows of snow giving that amazing feeling I was taking the bull of anxiety by its very horns. The... day you start university may give yoou the worries now. Only on the day you will be fine! I bet you a bag of carrots you will be. :yes: Sometimes, we just gotta go do the bugger. :d
Wow, that's amazing, you showed that mountain who's BOSS!!! Good for you, sounds scary but so much fun :d
Aww haha thanks your so encouraging , I'll bet it will be me owing you the carrots :hyper:
Honestly, you should write a book about overcoming anxiety Poppi, you'd be ace at that!