Anorexia

Former Member

My very close friend is anorexic, she was first diagnosed about two years ago and her weight has dropped rapidly. Last time I saw her there was basically nothing to her, today she uploaded some pictures to facebook, Stood next to her 5 year old niece, who she weighs less than and is clearly a lot smaller than. I need my friend to get help, this illness is going to kill her and I can't go through loosing her. How do I tell my friend she needs to recieve help for anorexia? the size she is I'm surprised she hasn't been sectioned.

Former Member

You can get your friend to be sectioned under doctor's orders. Can you speak to her doctor to visit her at home if she isn't likely to visit the doctor voluntarily?

Former Member

Your problem, sadly, is that unless your friend accepts that she has a problem and decides to get help, there's nothing you can really do.

Former Member

Hi Emmalee,

Its so sweet and caring of you to be so worried about your friend - and within reason. Like Melian said, it's really hard to help someone who doesn't want help however perhaps it's worth telling her how you feel. You don't have to say you think she needs help, but perhaps telling her that you are worried and care for her and want to make sure you are there for her might help? Her reaction could be defensive and rejecting as she could be in denial (try not to take it personally) or perhaps she will be relieved to have someone to talk to. Do you know if her other friends and family have done anything to help?

Its so hard to see a loved one suffer and we feel so helpless - but try not to put all this weight on your shoulders - it's not your responsibility. Letting her know you're here for her is already a big step. Have a look at our articles on Anorexia and this real life story on overcoming it.

Do let us know how things go *hug*

Former Member

I spoke to friend, I told her I'm worried about her, that I've seen her deteriorate over the past few months and I feel she needs help, I mentioned I've seen people bigger than her in Eating disorder clinics. She knows she has a problem and said "I just cant bring myself to eat anything" She was under the care of an ED team but stopped going because she didn't get on with the worker, I've given her details of another ED team in Hull which are really good, as well as Emailing the team myself to see if they can support her, they're not far from her house, and I've even offered to pay travel daily for friend to get to this clinic. Her mum doesn't think she has an Issues around food. even though its clearly obvious she's sick....She actually looks ill.

Former Member

Well done for talking to her Em, it sounds like you had a really frank conversation and that she was able to be honest with you. Having someone like you that she can talk to openly will be of huge support to her.

It's often the case that people can reject support for a while after a bad experience, finding professionals that you can connect to is such an important part of the process and it sounds like she had some bad luck. Fingers crossed this other team in Hull can help her, it's sad to hear that her mum isn't accepting what seems to be a very clear issue if she's really looking so ill

Supporting someone at this stage can be really tiring for you too Em, how are you doing?

Former Member

She's contacted the place i sent her, and filled in a form, The woman told me that if she's on there system then they do have the power to have her assessed for hospital, if she's thatt underweight. but she's contacted and filled in the form so she's on tthe step towards getting help.

Eh..I'm, I'm not okay...but thats for a completly differenet reason.