I take everything too seriously

Former Member

I'm not sure if this is the right topic for this but anyway:

I keep finding in social situations, especially if someone is teasing me, I take it far too seriously. I just can't laugh off little things like jokes. It's starting to ruin some of my friendships.

Any advice on how I can stop being so uptight?

apandav

Hey Erinabi

I also tend to take things seriously, but I've found if I "go along with it" , people soon stop teasing (as obviously it's no longer fun for them). I know it's hard especially if it's not in your nature to be like that!

Obviously, I don't know your situation exactly so if this is really concerning you, have you considered telling your friends how you feel?

All the Best,

Apandav

SarahR

Hi erinabi45

It sounds like you're finding it difficult to share the same sense of humour as your friends, particularly when it comes to making fun of yourself. There are two things which could be going on here. It could be, as you say, that you find it difficult to see the funny side when someone is teasing you and this is causing misunderstandings which are putting a strain on your friendships. However, it could also be that there are some things you genuinely don't find funny and you're finding it difficult to express this without feeling you're being 'uptight'. Everyone has different boundaries, especially when it comes to jokes made at their expense, and it's perfectly fine to politely ask someone to stop making fun if you're feeling uncomfortable.

Would you be able to give us an example of a particular situation where you felt you were being 'uptight'? This might help to sort out whether there's a way to help you feel a bit more relaxed or whether your friends need to back off a bit!

SarahR

Former Member

SarahR wrote: »

... give us an example of a particular situation where you felt you were being 'uptight'?

A friend and I were talking over facebook and he made this joke about me. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not. As I wasn't sure I took it literally which ended up being bad. He said that I do this all the time. Its like I can't laugh at anything. Then he said, "I now feel like I can't say anything to you."

The more I think about it the more I realise it was supposed to be a joke and I should have laughed along with it.

Former Member

This is something I struggle with too. The only way I can usually tell is by facial expressions. Not really easy as someone with a visual impairment though.

Text is much harder.

If he knows you're going to react that way, maybe he should learn not say things like that to you.

Former Member

I think it's more about other people than you. Everyone has different limits on the amount of 'banter' they can enjoy, some far less than others. You're perfectly fine and well within your rights not to be okay with things. In that respect, it would be up to them to realise that you're not keen on engaging with it. If, however, you actually do find things funny on reflection and realise you might have enjoyed it, then recognising what is/isn't a joke is something you should work on.