Life's so expensive

Former Member

I'm hardworking, yet struggling financially. There are three main expenditures in my life: a) rent; b) food; c) buying drinks, flowers, chocolates, restaurant dinners etc. for girls. I can't avoid paying rent as I don't have the option of living with family. Obviously I need to eat to survive. Therefore, I have to regularly pay a) and b). I was wondering if there are girls somewhere who don't want/demand/expect to have things bought for them by their dates/boyfriends etc. If so, where can I find them? I'd love to meet them.

I couldn't stand being homeless or celibate, so please don't suggest either of those appalling options.

Former Member

You don't need to buy those things for girls. Can't say I'm one for flowers. I don't do fancy restraurants either. Something half decent (ie, not KFC or MacDonalds!) would do me fine though.

Do you ever suggest splitting the bill? As a female, it wouldn't bother me if you suggested that.

Former Member

I don't know what you mean by "half-decent"; I enjoy eating at KFC and McD. However, girls won't go there with me; they insist on a posh restaurant.

Every time I've tried suggesting splitting the bill, my date has laughed/become angry, called me a cheapskate, told me that I invited her on the date so I have to pay and said that she doesn't have any money on her.

Former Member

I found myself a girlfriend recently and we always split the bill. Yesterday she invited me to her, asking me to bring a bottle of wine, because she is getting the pizza. You could also look for a better job or pursue additional education to help you find something that keeps you afloat better.

Also, ironically on our first date we've been to mc donalds (after chilling in the park with a bottle of wine, it was mostly an inside joke, but just trying to make a point that you look for the wrong people if they insult you)

Also, it is super apparent that you are Adam_0 alt account. Come on, man. We've been through this.

Former Member

Your choice of people is your biggest issue.

Former Member

Petrichor wrote: »

Your choice of people is your biggest issue.

Indeed

I'm fine, as a female, with the guy asking me if we can go halves or doing what StrubbleS said and one buying the pizza and the other buying the wine or whatever.

Former Member

I am looking for a higher-paid job and going to college to improve my career prospects. However, at the moment, I'm stuck in a below-average-pay job. Even if I become lucky enough to be earning a thousand pounds a week within a few years, I'd still rather not spend so much time and money. Where do I find girls who love sex and don't want things bought for them on every date? I've tried looking everywhere I can think of.

I have no issue with supporting myself; I always pay my way. I don't want to be leeched off.

Former Member

Ben 0 wrote: »

Even if I become lucky enough to be earning a thousand pounds a week within a few years, I'd still rather not spend so much time and money. Where do I find girls who love sex and don't want things bought for them on every date?.

I cannot fucking stress how aggravating you are. Sex is not everything and you probably can't find what you're looking for because women have respect for themselves. You'll do good accepting that.

Former Member

You're choosing to read and post on a Sex and relationships forum. If you dislike sex, you're in the wrong place.

I cannot stress how prudish you are. It's perfectly normal and natural to want sex and to seek out others who want it. Most people have sex and enjoy it. It's unusual to not want sex. Wanting and having sex doesn't indicate a lack of respect. No-one will ever make me feel bad for having normal desires. You'll do well accepting that.

Former Member

No, it's not unusual to want sex and I do accept that - what I can't accept is that you seem to think it's normal to have such disrespect for women. It's just utterly disgusting. You've had advice from some members, take it if you want or don't, it's your choice but there's no point in this community even trying anymore when it's always the same bloody outcome.

Former Member

I've not disrespected anyone; there's nothing disrespectful about wanting sex without spending a huge amount of time and money. I'm making a reasonable enquiry about sex on a sex and relationships forum. You're being angry and hostile towards me without the slightest justification. We're strangers who've never interacted prior to today, yet you're treating me like someone you've held a grudge against and resented for a long time. There hasn't even been one outcome here, so I don't know why you're saying that it's always the same outcome.

Former Member

Hey Ben,

Having read through this thread, it appears as though it's not really going anywhere constructive. On its current trajectory, it seems likely that it will only result in conflict and won't prove helpful for anyone. For this reason, I've closed it.

As we mentioned in our private message after closing your previous thread, it's important to be sensitive when posting in this forum and take into account the potential meanings of your words for those reading them. In this thread for example, it feels like you're approaching the issue of sex entirely from a position of self-interest (i.e. not considering the emotional needs of the other person) and presenting it as a financial transaction. I believe it's this to which other posters are objecting.

It's also worth mentioning that your posts do bear a striking resemblance in tone, style and content to a previously banned user called Adam0. While you may or may not be the same person, it's worth noting that Adam0 was banned after repeatedly starting threads like this, which invariably led to conflict.

Finally, you might be interested in The Good Men Project. It explores issues around sex, gender roles, feminism etc from a male perspective and may help you gain insight into why you're receiving the types of responses that you are.

I hope that's helpful.

James (moderator)