Victims of sexual violence service

Former Member

Hi guys,

Got home before to a letter and it's from Victims of sexual violence service. They've informed me that they've booked a room and someone from their team wants to meet me in a few weeks.

One of my workers had got in touch with them and explained a bit about what's happened because she thinks I'd benefit from working with a team like that but I don't want to at all. I'm not up for going through everything that has happened and a few workers have said that wouldn't be the case but I'm not stupid - they're a team that specialize with things like that, of course I'm going to have to go through what happened and talk about feelings and memories because it's about focussing on what bothers me the most about it as that's the only way someone can help me move past it, which quite honestly feels absolutely impossible.

I was wondering if anyone had experience with something like this and wouldn't mind sharing whether or not it helped them? I'm not in a good enough state nowadays to go through such difficult experiences in detail so I think I'm going to ring up and cancel without telling the worker who contacted them.

Former Member

Hi there Butterfly,

I can honestly understand your feelings about this. I think this time last year I felt the same way as you may do now. I was put in touch with my local Rape Crisis team. That included counsellors as well as their ISVA team. I think it's a positive step in the right direction. However at the time I felt like I didn't connect with the right people at the time which is why it didn't work for me. However that doesn't mean to say it won't work for you. My issue was that I was not prepared to disclose at the time. They did not force me to either.

So what I am trying to say is that if you do decide to take this offer up, you will not be forced to talk about specific details of what has happened unless you want to. I personally think services such as these work well when you feel able to talk about what has happened to you and how you feel about it. So my recommendation would be to go and perhaps test the waters? If you don't get on or connect to whom you are speaking to, request somebody else. You are worthy and deserving of help and support.

Good Luck, M'Lovely

- ShatteredSecrets

Former Member

Thanks for your reply.

I met with one of my workers today and cried a bit about it. We've agreed that I'll wait to see what the worker that contacted the victims of sexual violence service says but I'm not ready to talk about what's happened, and the worker I met today thinks that's what's important - there's no point forcing myself if I'm not ready.

Former Member

butterfly123 wrote: »

there's no point forcing myself if I'm not ready.

This is the most important thing, you're exactly right that forcing yourself when you're not ready will only be worse for you. Well done for noticing in yourself that you're not ready as that shows that you're aware of what's best for you at the moment.

I was also referred to a service like the one you mentioned and as the time came to go to my appointment, I realised I couldn't go through with it and looked into more generalised support instead of just focusing on the sexual violence.

After a little bit of waiting I got some help through the GP around dealing with the rest of the issues without specifically focusing on the worst bits that I wasn't ready to talk about.

Maybe there will be something in your area which is similar? I was referred to a team which deal with complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder where people have had multiple traumas, and the therapy deals with the condition overall and not focusing on what exactly happened.

I found it helpful to go through that route and hopefully you will find something similar for yourself so that you can still get some support without tackling the really difficult stuff that's too painful to revisit at the moment.

Big hugs to you