Extra Hours

Former Member

So at my work only me and this other guy have the same role at work and only one of us works at each time (we are never on shift together).
But he always comes in on his days off to help out as he is really passionate about his job.
Now a lot of the work we have to coordinate which is difficult when we don't work at the same time. He said to me to come in on Thursday to help with this work. Normally he comes in on my days. But I feel really guilty for saying this but I don't want to go. As you may have seen me post on other sections I have been struggling a lot and I'm not in the mood for work most of the time.
The thing is I always back down and felt I need to agree. But I'm not keen on the times, he wants me to come in in the middle of the day so I'm basically loosing the middle of my day off (and I'm working the next few days after). I don't want to go but I feel really guilty, especially due to the type of job I have, and as he always comes in on his days off.

He told me to clock on the system (to get paid) but to be honest I'm not bothered about extra money as its only my starting out job and not my lifelong career.

Also this piece of work we need to coordinate my boss keeps on hassling us about getting it done but it's hard as we don't work at the same time

I work in a care home by the way- that's what makes me feel even more guilty!

What's the right thing to do?

Former Member

The right thing to do is to work your contracted hours, and do more if you feel you /want/ to, but not because someone else is guilting you into it.
I, for one, would not use my day off to come in to work at someone else's behest, even if they came into work on their day off. That's their own bag and they are welcome to it, it does not imply that you should do the same. Tbh the fact that you're asking about this tells us that you don't enjoy working your day off, so continuing to do so will only cause resentment in the long run. I'd either stay away from work on my day off (preferably) or, at the very least, come in for times of my own choosing - so not the middle of the day, which effectively means your whole day off is lost to work.

Former Member

Thanks for the reply mist

Yeah your right, I have decided I'm not going in on Thursday, especially as I'm working the next few days after. Some very good arguments there by the way mist!

Former Member

You're not bothered about extra money?

If it was me, I wouldn't hesitate to say no.......I'd say get all the money out of them while you can.

Former Member

But money isn't everything. You're also giving up your time too.

I'm with mist on this.

Former Member

Guess it's down to each to their own- which is fair enough !

It's not that I don't care about money, im just satisfied with what I've got at the moment. I work 12 hour shifts which is very tiring, I'm due to be working one Friday, then Saturday so I want time away from work today!

I'm not going in today, I don't need to as I'm not on the rota. Plus especially at the moment I feel I need to look out for myself!

Former Member

Well, I didn't go on Thursday.

But this guy keeps asking me to come in to help with stuff, he does say well it could be either of our days. But he's kinda hinting to get me to come in on my day off.

I just feel really guilty and I'm a passive person (I've learnt that from therapy) and I'm trying to be more assertive (part of therapy) but i just get so scared feeling people my thoughts and feelings if I feel it's not what they want to hear. I just get scared, anxious and just don't have the confidence to do it.

Also me and this guy get on really well, he's a really nice person and we have a good laugh. That's what makes me feel worse as he's always saying I'm such a nice person and I don't want him to think I'm not in standing up for myself.

Former Member

Don't care what others think about you not doing the overtime and going in on your days off. I used to do overtime here and there when asked (and during half terms) but after this week of doing some overtime to help with things, I'm not anymore. Some people just take the piss, regardless of them saying positive things and seeming grateful for it.

It's his choice to come in on his days off, just like it's yours not to. I've found some people would feel asking you to come in on your days off wasn't an issue and might ask more often.

Former Member

You say he's a nice person, but that means nothing if he's not respecting your decisions. You've said no and he needs to back off a bit.

Former Member

Thanks for replying!

I agree with you both, I just find it hard to say "no". Managed to get him to come off in his day off but he will probably ask me again soon. I'm just not confident enough to actually say the word "no".

I feel bad, as I've went in in the past, but I'm just not in the mood for it!