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I am a girl with a girlfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I haven't been on the site in ages now..Before I left I made a thread about sexuality confusion.I am still suffering/experiencing a lot of sexuality confusion BUT I do have a girlfriend!!!

How do I deal with the confusion though?Also, we are in a long distance relationship so how do we make it wok much better?

Thank you for reading-Any replies at all are greatly appreciated!

AngelFace97 xxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,
    Thank you for the reply-It means a lot to me.

    I feel confused-I mean, I really do love her and know for a fact that I am not straight. I do not feel that I am bisexual or lesbian, due to different things, however I do not know which sexuality I identify with, currently.

    I'll check that link out and see if/how it helps me-Thank you.

    Hope you're good x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,
    I feel confused-I mean, I really do love her and know for a fact that I am not straight. I do not feel that I am bisexual or lesbian, due to different things, however I do not know which sexuality I identify with, currently.

    Don't worry too much about putting a label on it, sexuality is fluid. You're allowed to be unsure of what it is
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I second hiccup. I like to see it as you love whoever you love - gender doesn't mean you need a label to define what you are.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who you are*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    I haven't been on the site in ages now..Before I left I made a thread about sexuality confusion.I am still suffering/experiencing a lot of sexuality confusion BUT I do have a girlfriend!!!

    How do I deal with the confusion though?Also, we are in a long distance relationship so how do we make it wok much better?

    Thank you for reading-Any replies at all are greatly appreciated!

    AngelFace97 xxx


    Just lay your confusion off, don't think about it. I like spaghetti a lot, but I would not say I am a pasta guy. That would somehow exclude that I like rice too. They are both from the carbohydrate family, so maybe I should say I am a carb guy? But damn, those fine proteins. Love em. So tasty and good for your muscles.

    I know that sexuality is more confusing than food, but in either way I does absolutely not matter that you have problems fitting yourself in a certain drawer. Just don't. One day you might have a boyfriend, or a trans person or have several partners. Whatever floats your boat as long as nobody gets hurt. In the meantime I am going to eat all the stuff I love and don't worry what kind of "food type"-guy I should name myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »

    Don't worry too much about putting a label on it, sexuality is fluid. You're allowed to be unsure of what it is

    Absolutely this. You like who you like. Sexuality isn't binary. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »

    Don't worry too much about putting a label on it, sexuality is fluid. You're allowed to be unsure of what it is
    I understand that but feel that somehow knowing for sure will help me to accept myself for it.

    Thank you for replying though sorry for a delayed reply-I haven't been on in ages!!xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I second hiccup. I like to see it as you love whoever you love - gender doesn't mean you need a label to define what you are.
    Thank you for the reply Hun,it means a lot to me!!x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Petrichor wrote: »

    Absolutely this. You like who you like. Sexuality isn't binary. :)


    Thank you x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS
    I understand that but it is extremely hard to just 'lay off the confusion'and in some ways is actually impossible to do for someone suffering sexuality confusion.
    I feel that lAbelling will help me understand and accept myself a little better though :s

    Thanks for replying x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Angelface - have you heard of the Albert Kennedy Trust? They offer free e-mentoring for 16-25s who are LGBT or think they might be - could be worth looking into. We have met some of their staff and they are really lovely :)

    If you feel that having a label may help you that's okay, I guess it's just also good to be aware that you don't 'have' to put yourself in a box if you don't want to, Sexuality can be ever-changing :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    Hey Angelface - have you heard of the Albert Kennedy Trust? They offer [URL="http://www.akt.org.uk/2/spg541/albert-kennedy-trust-helping-young-lgbt-people/need-help/ementoring.aspx"]free e-mentoring for 16-25s who are LGBT[/URL] or think they might be - could be worth looking into. We have met some of their staff and they are really lovely :)

    If you feel that having a label may help you that's okay, I guess it's just also good to be aware that you don't 'have' to put yourself in a box if you don't want to, Sexuality can be ever-changing :)

    Hi Jo,

    Thank you for that-I have never ever heard of the Alber Kennedy Trust but thank you for the link,I will take a look at it.

    I feel really ashamed that I am not straight and am really really afraid of being judged and disliked even more but I love my girlfriend very much and she means a lot to me,she really does.She is the best thing that's happened to me in life so far I reckon!

    Sexuality is ever changing And it is so frustrating.I am not sure now what I identify with and I don't know who I am in terms of it either.

    Thank you

    AngelFace97 xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My girlfriend and I want to have a future together but things are getting in the way of that.We are in a long distance relationship currently too and miss eachother a LOT-What can we do?x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My girlfriend and I want to have a future together but things are getting in the way of that.We are in a long distance relationship currently too and miss eachother a LOT-What can we do?x

    It is going to be difficult, but not impossible. Use Facebook Chat (if it's still running though am unsure as don't have a Facebook), instant messengers, webcam and chatting on the phone. Arrange times when you can be together online would be helpful, especially if the two of you are separated by time zones. My late partner was also a girl and we did this during the times I was away on business and found it very helpful. We also talked lots on our phones.

    Could there be a future time when the two of you could get to meet? Schools and universities have summer recess, so enabling holidays to be spent together. If your girlfriend is abroad, there are cheap flights available such as RyanAir, though be careful as RyanAir limit cabin alloowance/weight, but still offer very good value flights.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey AngelFace,

    How are you feeling?

    I'm just dropping in to post this link - 'tis a thread from a while back regarding long distance relationships so might be worth a read - http://vbulletin.thesite.org/forum/thesite-topics/sex-relationships/129596-long-distancers

    Please do keep us posted *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya Butterfly123, it feels like ages ago since we last spoke again. How are you?Hope you're doing okay-I am always here for you if you ever need a chat too :)

    Thanks soo much for that link, I will take a look at that thread.

    I'll definitely do my best to keep it posted on here.

    I am a bit all over the place atm with different things but hey, I am all too used to it :(

    lots of love xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It has been a while. I'm doing good, thank you :)

    Please feel free to post another thread if there are other things you need and/or want to talk about. Nobody should be used to feeling all over the place. I know how much it helps to feel truly heard and we're here to listen if you ever want to talk some more.

    I hope you're doing okay *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It has been a while. I'm doing good, thank you :)

    Please feel free to post another thread if there are other things you need and/or want to talk about. Nobody should be used to feeling all over the place. I know how much it helps to feel truly heard and we're here to listen if you ever want to talk some more.

    I hope you're doing okay *hug*

    Glad to hear you're doing good.That's good to hear that :)

    I will consider writing some more about my many issues and struggles.I'll have to see.

    Thanks for replying;I really appreciate it.xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope you're ok with things atm, thinking of you :) xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there AngelFace97 :wave:

    Good to see you back here again :)

    I just want to reiterate what others have said on here, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of - it takes guts and bravery to admit it to yourself and really if other people have an issues with it, well then that's their problem and not yours. As the other comments on here mention, sexuality is a label, it doesn't define who you are. You are still your wonderful self, this is just an aspect of you, like having blonde hair, or being petite. :yes:

    Sexuality is a changing process and some days you might feel really proud of it, other days, you might find it a bit of a pain. Perhaps when you feel worried about what other people think (which is natural, we all worry about this from time to time) you could think about the strong, loving relationship that you and your girlfriend have. You could think about how it feels to be around her, things you have planned in the future, which may help deflect those feelings of shame.

    Labels can be paralysing, and sometimes people need them to help navigate their way through life, but they can be judgmental. If labels hurt you, or you struggle with how they make you feel, then you know you don't have to use them.

    In terms of your LDR, there's this article we have here at TheSite which you might find helpful to have a read through. LDR's can be great, you get your own free time to do your thing with your mates, and then you have dedicated time with you partner. It can also motivate couples to make the most of the time they do spend together, because when you do - it's precious - and there's no temptation to just slob about in front of the telly. Of course the gaps in between seeing other can be really tough, and it's only natural you miss you each other

    If you want some further tips on how to make it work, such as making sure you keep in touch regularly - then have a look at life hack's article on making a LDR work for you.

    Really hope that helps you out - let us know how things are working out for you *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope you're ok with things atm, thinking of you :) xx

    Hiya Hun,

    It's lovely to see that you have replied on here to my thread. I'm sorry it took so long-I have had a lot going on, my emotions and feelings have been all over the place and I have been missing my friend a lot....

    How are you and how are things going for you Hun?

    Ilysm

    xox
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello Tamsinjo
    It is really nice of you to reply to someone like me on here and I really appreciate the fact that you are trying to help me.I'm sorry I haven't been able to check this thread out or come onto TS at all in a while-I have had a lot going on, my emotions and feelings have been all over the place etc.

    I miss her and love her so much. We had such a special time together when we met up a few months ago and it was just beautiful. Unfortunately, we have not been able to meet up again since then but we are desperately holding onto the hope that we can meet and have a real relationship with eachother again soon.

    Thank you xxx
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