Good sex isn't just about technique …

Former Member

The web, magazines, and lots of conversations talk about how to have good sex. There's loads of information on techniques, positions and practices. "Touch her like this and she'll go wild", "lick him like this and he'll have the best night of his life". There's more information available now than we could ever get through (even if it's not all particularly good information!).

But having a happy sex life isn't just about what bits you put where. In a recent study by Time Magazine, 75% of people surveyed who reported trusting their partner with money reported good sex lives. Only 34% of those who didn't trust their partner with money reported good sex lives. Do those results make sense to you?

Do you find you have better sex with a partner you trust with money? Or trust with other parts of your life?

Or does something else in your relationship cause you to have better or worse sex together?

Former Member

I think trust lets you relax much more and genuinely have a better time. It's only when you can fully be yourself and enjoy what you're doing without thinking about all those niggly things at the back of your mind that you can have the best time. At least, this is the case with me. Personally, I think these results make sense.

Former Member

Most of the sex happens in your head imho. If you are not into it, for whatever internal reason it doesn't matter hot hot your partner is and or skilled they are in bed, you will not enjoy it. You can push your partner over the edge with just some raunchy words whispered into the ear during the act. Trusting someone with money means to me just that their partner is trustworthy in general and that therefore an tight emotional bond exists between them.

Former Member

Trusting someone with my emotions and my money are very different animals! Emotions are far more complex than financial decisions, and there are also plenty of couples that have great sex but don't trust each other. So I think that research is vitally flawed...how could you apply it to real life? Seriously unless your sex life involves putting £50 notes where the sun doesn't shine how could the two be connected?

Former Member

Just want to say, I didn't realise it said 'trust with money'. I thought it just said trust! I'm kinda torn on that front. Trusting someone totally would encompass money as well, but trusting someone with money may not come hand in hand with emotions. Hard to say. :chin:

Former Member

I get that someone could be trustworthy with money but not with emotions, and that one's not necessarily a sign of the other. Might this depend on what exactly we mean by "trust with money"?

If you imagine it as meaning just that someone has a knowledge of personal finance and manages their money well, I can see why the two things might seem quite separate.

Miss_Riot and Petrichor, what if "trust with money" is more about trusting that a partner will be responsible about looking after their own needs, and considerate about yours (and those of children if that's a reality or consideration at some point). Could those things make a sex life better?

Former Member

MrRIot is shite with money but he's great with little one and with being considerate to what I need (especially when I'm not well). Our sex life is currently non-existant due to my current health issues but that asides, I think its more about being relaxed and able to tune into the other partners desires and such at the time. Its got more to do with self-awareness than anything else.

Former Member

It would be interesting to see what kind of people were surveyed. Perhaps they're all obsessed with money and therefore being good with it is something that's important for them when looking for a partner.

However, as StrubbleS suggested, being able to look after your finances is an indication of being generally secure in life. This can make people feel more relaxed with a partner because they may feel they're less likely to throw an unexpected spanner in the works. And if you're relaxed and trusting of your partner, you can let go of your inhibitions and explore fantasies with them, resulting in better sex.