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Abusive relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone,

I had a pretty tough meeting before and learnt about some statistics in relation to abusive relationships. I may just be pretty slow when it comes to discovering certain things but I learnt that 2 women get killed by their partners every week in England and Wales. This honestly came as a massive shock to me and after being speechless for about ten seconds, I cried.

It's absolutely horrific to learn that so many vulnerable people have ended up dead just because they fell in love. Thinking about the relationship with my ex, it's awful to know that I stayed with him for so long when other people were being killed. It really hits hard in terms of what could have happened or how things might be now. Having been in a relationship like that myself, it's very hard to see things visually.

I think by posting this thread I wanted to say to people out there, whether you're just browsing or whatever - as hard as it might be to believe, you're honestly worth so, so much more than being with someone that doesn't make you truly happy. Relationships aren't supposed to be exhausting, they're not supposed to be harmful or dangerous, they're not supposed to be just one sided, you're not supposed to feel scared or feel as though you can't do something you want to do in case it upsets your partner. That is not a relationship, that is abuse, and no matter who you are or how you see yourself - you deserve to look forward and be with someone who makes you happy, who makes you feel loved every day, who doesn't control who you see or where you go, and who definitely does not physically hurt you.

I'm absolutely devastated to learn that so many vulnerable and unhappy people were too far in to get themselves to safety, and I hope to god that one day people can really believe in themselves enough to get themselves out of such a harmful situation quickly enough to make that statistic keep lessening. Hand on heart, everyone has strength within them somewhere, and if you can believe in yourself enough even just for a bit then you can find that strength and take control of your happiness and your life, because that's how it should be anyway - you in control of you, and not them in control of you.
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