Fat Fat Fat

Former Member

Hi...

Basically I have been having this issue for a very long time and just don't know what to do about it. I first started worrying about my weight at around aged 5. I always felt different. Disgusting. Ugly. I can even look at photos from when I was that age and be disgusted. This was also the age when things started to change. From then on my weight was always an issue within my family. I couldn't take it anymore so when I hit about 9, I started skipping meals. Now, about ten years later I skip most meals. I exercise as regularly as I can. I can't receive help because I'm not underweight. I'm angry because I can't receive help and that I am constantly belittled about it. I think the reason I started skipping (at least outwardly) was my family constantly criticised the way I look. They still do. Now it's so deeply rooted that I cannot get out. I can't even believe my boyfriend when he says he doesn't think I'm fat. I don't know what to do.

Any Suggestions?

- ShatteredSecrets

Former Member

Hi ShatteredSecrets,

I see this can not be easy for you from what it sounds like an everyday minefield.

I think you have took it upon yourself to realise that you had a problem and tried to dealt with it. I also think that you tried to make healthy lifestyle changes ie reducing your portion sizes, eatting more fruit and veg, taking up exercise etc.

These are all good things you should be proud of because that's a huge achievement you have made to take the first step in changing your life.

However, I am a bit concerned that you said you cut out meals most of the time. You have to remember that if you cut out meals it dont necessarily mean you will lose weight, in fact you will put on weight as when you have gone for hours not eatting anything you will want something what will fill the gap in that sort space of time and that could mean any junk food.

Apparently research says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day as without it you won't be able to function or concentrate properly. Therefore its really important that you try and have breakfast first thing.

I'm not sure what kind of advice you are looking for in terms of your health and wellbeing. Only, do you think you could visit to see the doctor? Maybe they might be able to help with your diet.

Another thing is keeping a food diary and writing down what you have had to eat each day of the week so when it comes to remembering you could look back and see. Do you think this maybe a good idea also?

You should keep doing what your doing when it comes to the exercise but I would invest in a food diary now and keep control of your dietary plans.

You might find this website helpful if your looking for further advice and help on eatting healthy.

www.bbc.co.uk/food

I hope that helps

Crazy Cat x

Former Member

Hey ShatteredSecrets,

I feel similar in some ways about it being deeply rooted within that I can't believe I'm not fat. It's great you feel able to talk about it, and perhaps question how you're feeling. You talk about not being able to receive help because you're not underweight - have you seen a doctor about this at all? The only reason I ask is because you may still be able to get psychological help. Even if your doctor is unable to help, there are most likely other self-referral counselling centres in your area from whom you may be able to get counselling to work through the issues you have around food.

There are also websites like www.b-eat.co.uk who are specifically designed for supporting those with similar issues to yours.

How would you feel about receiving any help?

Former Member

plugitin wrote: »

Hey ShatteredSecrets,

I feel similar in some ways about it being deeply rooted within that I can't believe I'm not fat. It's great you feel able to talk about it, and perhaps question how you're feeling. You talk about not being able to receive help because you're not underweight - have you seen a doctor about this at all? The only reason I ask is because you may still be able to get psychological help. Even if your doctor is unable to help, there are most likely other self-referral counselling centres in your area from whom you may be able to get counselling to work through the issues you have around food.

There are also websites like www.b-eat.co.uk who are specifically designed for supporting those with similar issues to yours.

How would you feel about receiving any help?

Thing is I am fat tho that's my issue. It's not just my personal view it's a lot of other people's too. I have currently been halted in my daily exercise regimes bc I seem to be in pain a lot every day and am currently awaiting hospital admission. But yes I have been to the doctors and they are the ones who told me that I need to be either very underweight or even hospitalised before they are willing to help me or to refer me anywhere.

I kinda feel like I shouldn't be asking for help because im not underweight. When I was younger I used to restrict and then binge and purge a lot but I really don't want to go back to that and I guess I'm a bit scared about it

- ShatteredSecrets

Former Member

Hiya,

I have looked briefly into b-eat but I'm not sure if it seems too promising. I'm kinda under the impression that you have to have an established and diagnosed eating disorder for them to help? I was also unable to find places from b-eat in my area or well places which are accessible and in terms of online support it seems they don't run things properly regularly for my age group. I also feel ridiculous going to them because well.. they help people who have real and serious issue and I kinda feel like I'm making something out of nothing. I mean I don't personally think I have a disorder as such.. more of an issue. I'm kinda stuck in a cycle now where I'm being even more strict in what I eat and how much. If I end up maintaining this it means I'm going to be losing at least 4-7 pounds a week. I'm not sure if that's healthy or not? I mean it's fine for now but what happens when I want to stop... I guess I'm worried I won't be able to. I've been keeping this recent diet plan and the results a secret from everyone.

Sorry for the ramblings. Thanks for listening and all of your input.

- ShatteredSecrets

Former Member

Hi ShatteredSecrets,

I'm sorry to hear that your struggling at the moment in finding services what might help with the issues your having.

I think it would be a good idea to go back onto b-eat and do find out a bit more so your more confident in what they do and who they help.

You seem to be doing everything at the moment to try and get help and support. You have done well by what you have achieved and are still continuing to do so. Do you think going back to your doctor as you mentioned might be a good idea?

You said they won't be able to support you unless you were bigger but it maybe going back to see them and saying what other kind of support you can reciebe might help instead.

There are other organisations what may help in a different way what you might find is more useful. I do think that's something you should think about.

There's a website you could have a look at which will look for other organisations for you in your area. It's called Get Connected and they are a free confidential helpline who isn't a advice service or a counselling service but they are a service who can look for further help in your area for the issues your having.

www.getconnected.org.uk

That's the link

Though in the mean time try and arrange to see your doctor again and maybe think about having a good diary to write in two.

I hope that helps

Crazy Cat x

Former Member

Hi ShatteredSecrets

I just wanted to say that in terms of getting support from b-eat (and also here), I would't worry too much about labels and diagnoses. From what you've written it sounds like you have some very strong negative feelings about your body, and also some eating patterns that might not be very healthy for you. Both of those things sound really difficult, and are certainly enough for you to deserve some support.

I also wanted to say that I understand the feeling that there's always someone worse off than you, someone with more serious issues. But it might be helpful to know that it's a common feeling when people are really struggling, and for some reasons, often when we're feeling really down, we feel like we don't deserve support. I think that here, and somewhere like b-eat, people will understand that you're struggling and do really deserve a hand.

I hope that helps
Danny