Mum, MrRiot and me

Former Member

MrRiot and little one moved in last weekend. Little one is now living with us on a trial basis as his mum has finally agreed she can't really cope. It's been majorly chaotic, boxes everywhere, it's been really messy and MrRiot has been at work most of the week and staying over with friends nearer to work (60 miles away) until he finishes next week. Mum and me have been at each other's throats and she's been saying things about MrRiot rather than to him which has made him really angry too. Both of them are now threatening to leave and I'm shitting myself that everything I've been working so hard to sort over the past few months might fall apart before it's even been through its first full week!!

Help?!

Former Member

Hi Miss_Riot,

Sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. It's really good of you to support MrRiot and his little one. Why is your Mum upset about your partner? Do they have a problem with each other or it's just the stress from someone moving in your flat? Have you tried to have a conversation with both of them?

Former Member

Hi Miss Riot,

I wanted to check to see how your doing today? I hope things are slightly better then they were a few days ago?

I'm sorry to hear about what's been happening between Mr Riot and your mum. This cant be easy for you im sure but please remember that whatever there arguments are about they both care about you as much as each other. Your mum has the best intensions for you and so does Mr Riot. They are both two close people you care about and nothing will change that.

Do you think you could have a word with them both separately? If they cant listen to each other then they have to listen to you right? Maybe clearing the air and telling them how you feel and how much the situation is effecting you can only try and make things a little less stressful in the house. You could tell them that you was very kind to have let them into your house in the first place as you didn't want them to end up alone only, this is your house and you can either do what I say or get out.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind but they need to realise that your torn between them already and your not going to be prepared to take anyone else side. They have to try and get on the sake of living together what any other family would do.

Please feel free to get in contact with us again if you need anymore advice x

Former Member

Sorry things have been so bad this week Miss Riot As others have asked, is there any particular reason your mum is saying bad things about Mr Riot? You know him and her better than us, can you think of a way that could calm this situation down by either talking to them as a group or separately? Try not to be too hard on yourself , you have worked hard to get to this point, but the way the first week has gone isn't necessarily a sign of how the next few weeks will go! Everyone will probably need a bit more time to adjust, it might be hard at the beginning but these things take time :yes: - again communication is important so anything you can speak to them about that could help would be good!! Have a look at this article on living with a new unit that can help (i like the point in it of trying to take it day by day).

Do let us know how things go and good luck *hug*

Former Member

Things got really bad last week, mum couldn't get why MrRiot was getting so hung up over leaving his town, but she now understands a lot better. Its just been massive communication breakdown between mum and MrRiot and mum and me. The house is total chaos and we're all struggling with that a bit. We're all hoping we can sit down tonight and talk a but more but things are starting to get a bit better, its just a real shame that my health is starting to go down hill again!

Tbh, me and mum need to be living separately! I'm 25 years old, looking to get married and have babies, I shouldn't have my mum still living with me but its been purely because I haven't been well enough to live on my own but if I have Chris with me its not quite such a struggle. But we'll get there in the end, we need to submit housing applications and see if we get anywhere with that.

Former Member

Hi Miss_Riot

Glad to see that you, your mum and partner are making improvements in your relationship with one another. It's also great that you are quite optimistic about the future and making the first steps into moving on with your life.

Wishing you all the best and hope to see more posts from you *hug*