Do you check social media while you're with your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Former Member

Do your or your boyfriend/girlfriend lie in bed together looking at your phones? Does quality time get interrupted by WhatsApp? Have you ever found technology getting in the way of your relationship? There's a word for this - "technoference".

What are your experiences: is this a problem for you? or is it just a part of life?

If you've got technoference in your life, the LoveSmart tool has a set of practical steps to stop technology getting the way of your relationship. It also explains why it can feel so bad when technology seems to come before you.

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Former Member

I dont mind that we both look at our phones as I know we are still listening to each other whilst on the phone.

Both of us still has quality time together. Only, I don't think its going on the phone what interrupts us but its other technology like watching tv or going on the PlayStation.

This isn't a problem for us and it is part of life in some way.

x

Former Member

That's what I think x

Former Member

It's something I find rather rude. I understand it if for example, your relative is ill and you're expecting some news or whatever. Did date someone who would constantly call his "ex" in front of me which I found rude as hell. He would actually sit there and text her in front of me!

Given the amount of time some people spend on their phones, I seriously wonder how we managed before they existed!

Former Member

We often curl up on the sofa, she'll be watching some shite like East Enders on the telly and I'll be insulting Tories on Twitter. I don't see how it gets in the way.

It's only really a problem when you reach the stage that you Whatsapp someone in the next room to ask if they want a mug of tea.

So long as you're not stopping halfway through a nice shag to Instagram it, it isn't really a problem.

Former Member

Arctic Roll wrote: »

We often curl up on the sofa, she'll be watching some shite like East Enders on the telly and I'll be insulting Tories on Twitter. I don't see how it gets in the way.

It's only really a problem when you reach the stage that you Whatsapp someone in the next room to ask if they want a mug of tea.

So long as you're not stopping halfway through a nice shag to Instagram it, it isn't really a problem.

Indeed. As long as you don't use it obnoxiously (such as how Melian said) and you're not glued to it, I don't see the problem. There are times when it's fine and times where it becomes annoying, I think.

Former Member

What if, for example, you're spending time with your partner talking, maybe having a drink, or sitting together, or lying together - having some couple time.You're talking and the other person is listening and responding, but they're also checking emails or on Facebook. Would that bother you, or is it fine if they're listening too?

Former Member

Danny! wrote: »

What if, for example, you're spending time with your partner talking, maybe having a drink, or sitting together, or lying together - having some couple time.You're talking and the other person is listening and responding, but they're also checking emails or on Facebook. Would that bother you, or is it fine if they're listening too?

This would annoy be a little bit. This is when it feels like your company isn't quite good enough. But this would depend if it was more quality couple time or the usual time you spend together. If it's the latter, I don't think it'd be much of an issue.

Former Member

Petrichor wrote: »

This would annoy be a little bit. This is when it feels like your company isn't quite good enough. But this would depend if it was more quality couple time or the usual time you spend together. If it's the latter, I don't think it'd be much of an issue.

Agreed. If we're out together, it would bother me. Whereas if we're just at home watching TV, then ok. I've met people who get arsey with me if I don't reply to them, which I rather rude. I'm not dropping everything to reply to you.

Former Member

She does it more than me, if we're out together having a meal or just some couple time it *really* annoys me and I ban her from looking (that makes me sound like some dictator, but I just don't think it's fair!)

Otherwise, it's fair game and I'm probably going to have my phone near me too! I prefer books to reading stuff on my phone though, so I think it feels different but in reality it's kind of similar.

Former Member

I see it as the equivalent of reading a book or a newspaper. If you'd do that then it's fine to use the phone; if you wouldn't you shouldn't.

So yeah, I wouldn't use it if we went out for dinner or drinks, or even a coffee, but would slobbed on the sofa

Former Member

I think it's fair to say that your bf and gf should have time to use there phones for whatever reason but when it comes going out then phones shouldn't be on.

I do agree that both people in a relationship need to communicate and trust one another when it comes any social interaction so I wouldn't say for either of you looking at each other's phones but just remember that you have to trust them no matter what.

You need a relationship to work if you both willing to go the long and stay together and the only way it will work is knowing you both trust each other and have time for as well.

That's what some people these days forget to do.

Former Member

I think as long as you both got the time to communicate then that's all what matters.

I don't think you should be on your phone's when your out but I don't see anything wrong with someone being together checking there phones.