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Why do women hate serious men?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've read hundreds of women's profiles on several dating websites. A high proportion of them say that they want a man who doesn't take himself or life seriously. None of them say that they want someone who's serious. Why and how is not taking anything seriously a turn on? Many things in life are serious.

Bizarrely, some of the same women say that they want a man who's driven, ambitious, hardworking etc. Someone who doesn't take life seriously isn't going to be driven, ambitious and hardworking - he's not going to aim for accomplishments or success. He'll be lazy and won't even bother to pay his bills, because it's doesn't matter to him, because nothing is a serious matter to him.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not taking yourself seriously means being able to have a laugh about things, being able to take a joke, laugh at your own expense. If you do something embarrassing in public like fall over you laugh as well instead of getting angry and telling everyone to fuck off. It doesnt necessarily mean someone who omits all responsibility and doesnt understand when to be serious. It just means that they realise that work, money, bills etc isnt what life is about. Its about being able to have fun despite having to do those things
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Not taking yourself seriously means being able to have a laugh about things, being able to take a joke, laugh at your own expense. If you do something embarrassing in public like fall over you laugh as well instead of getting angry and telling everyone to fuck off. It doesnt necessarily mean someone who omits all responsibility and doesnt understand when to be serious. It just means that they realise that work, money, bills etc isnt what life is about. Its about being able to have fun despite having to do those things


    They've said that they want someone who doesn't take life seriously - that means life in general, not just falling over. Responsibility requires seriousness.

    What you've said doesn't try to explain how treating life as one big joke is a turn-on to a high proportion of women.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Not taking life seriously" is a phrase that often has the meaning that Lexi describes. It means making plenty of time in your life for fun as well as the serious stuff :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You cant take life too seriously - no one gets out alive anyway. You might as well enjoy your life while you can instead of stressing about money, work, relationships, not enough sex. People who are massive stress heads, cant see the fun side in anything are exhausting to be around and depress everyone around them. Happy people make other people happy with their mood, their energy.Yes you do have to be serious about some things but not to the detriment of fun. Those times where i was out all night and started work at 6 the next day with 3 hours sleep? Totally worth it. Yes maybe irresponsible but you only live once and I remember having a great night.

    Its a turn on because as i said, no one wants to be around someone depressing and boring all the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    "Not taking life seriously" is a phrase that often has the meaning that Lexi describes. It means making plenty of time in your life for fun as well as the serious stuff :)

    If they mean that they want someone who is serious when needed and fun when not, that's what they should say.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    You cant take life too seriously - no one gets out alive anyway. You might as well enjoy your life while you can instead of stressing about money, work, relationships, not enough sex. People who are massive stress heads, cant see the fun side in anything are exhausting to be around and depress everyone around them. Happy people make other people happy with their mood, their energy.Yes you do have to be serious about some things but not to the detriment of fun. Those times where i was out all night and started work at 6 the next day with 3 hours sleep? Totally worth it. Yes maybe irresponsible but you only live once and I remember having a great night.

    Its a turn on because as i said, no one wants to be around someone depressing and boring all the time.

    There isn't a fun side in everything. What's the fun side to suffering from cancer? What's the fun side to your house having been burgled? What's the fun side to being permanently disabled/disfigured?

    Someone can be serious without being depressed, stressed or boring. Most serious people can hold a good conversation. However, that's deemed worthless in social situations where banter, jokes and anecdotes are compulsory.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it means they don't want someone to be serious in any aspect of their life, but probably more that one of the characteristics they desire is somebody that is able to have fun, laugh at themselves, etc. For some people that ability is really important, even if you can't see why they would value it - they do, and everyone is different!

    I bet there are plenty of women out there who would prefer a more serious man, if you value seriousness in your life, and many women who would also describe themselves as serious. It's just a question of finding them :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophie.. wrote: »
    I bet there are plenty of women out there who would prefer a more serious man, if you value seriousness in your life, and many women who would also describe themselves as serious. It's just a question of finding them :)

    I've never found any and I don't know where to look for them. I've read hundreds of women's profiles on several dating websites; none of them say that they want someone who's serious. Many of them say that they can't stand serious people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Its a turn on because as i said, no one wants to be around someone depressing and boring all the time.

    That still doesn't explain how a don't-care-less attitude makes them wet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im sorry but Im finding your threads exhausting and I cant comment anymore, hopefully someone will be able to explain things better than I can
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam I've often wondered if i told you "I'll meet you at .XXX place on XXX day at XXX time and we'll have sex, Whether you'd bother to turn up? Would you listen to that idea...Because you seem to ignore everything else logical we say...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    Adam I've often wondered if i told you "I'll meet you at .XXX place on XXX day at XXX time and we'll have sex, Whether you'd bother to turn up? Would you listen to that idea...Because you seem to ignore everything else logical we say...

    I wouldn't believe you because: a) you hate me; b) you hate the fact that I want sex; c) you've claimed that once a month is the right frequency for sex and d) you appear to be a lesbian.

    What you've said to me isn't logical. You're pushing an anti-sex message on the Sex & Relationships section of a sex-positive website.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    I wouldn't believe you because: a) you hate me; b) you hate the fact that I want sex; c) you've claimed that once a month is the right frequency for sex and d) you appear to be a lesbian.

    What you've said to me isn't logical. You're pushing an anti-sex message on the Sex & Relationships section of a sex-positive website.

    I don't hate anybody actually, Well I do...but theres a very logical reason I hate this person, B) I don't hate the fact you want sex, I hate the fact you're being such an idiot and offensive towards women, We're not vaginas with legs...C) I said once a month is right for me..Not everybody, Some people once a day is right...Some less time. and D) Since when do i 'appear to be a lesbian' You don't know me....I've had sex, with Men.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps you'd be better of asking for more advice after you've completed this autism course; you might have more luck with the community (presuming you learn something from it).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »

    I don't hate anybody actually, Well I do...but theres a very logical reason I hate this person, B) I don't hate the fact you want sex, I hate the fact you're being such an idiot and offensive towards women, We're not vaginas with legs...C) I said once a month is right for me..Not everybody, Some people once a day is right...Some less time. and D) Since when do i 'appear to be a lesbian' You don't know me....I've had sex, with Men.

    It's not offensive to want sex and not want to waste a huge amount of time 'being friends' or a huge amount of money wining and dining gold-digging, cock-teasing timewasters. You harshly criticised me for wanting sex every day and said that once a month is a good frequency. You strongly implied that once a month is plenty for anyone.

    You've said that you're in a lesbian relationship and that your dream date is Jessie J.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Petrichor wrote: »
    Perhaps you'd be better of asking for more advice after you've completed this autism course; you might have more luck with the community (presuming you learn something from it).

    I've started the autism course; so far it's been pointless for me. It's such basic stuff that I feel like I'm in infant school. I learnt nothing in the first session. Everything that was said, I had known for years.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You may just need to give the course a bit more time. How long u been on the course now?? You may learn something once you have been there a bit longer but I wouldn't give up as you wanted help with your social skills to begin with so this could be some use later on.

    How many people are on the course?? Have you had chance to speak to them about how you feel?? Remember that everyone is there for the same reason and no one will judge you.

    I just think you need to give it time. Once the course is over you can then take charge on what to do and see what works for you. I know there's nothing what might not he working yet but in time there will be something.

    This course will do you good and maybe from what we have said to you, can put things into consideration.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think that's true at all! Your only looking at it in one dimensional way thinking that all women are interested in that type of guy.

    There are lots of women out there who don't just go for bad boys like him. Some women do but just for the excitement and think that type of guy don't really want a relationship.

    It's finding that right girl in time because not all girls are the same and want a nice guy. Some of them like a bad boy and some of them don't. You just need to find the right one. There is someone out there for you.

    Remember it depends what the person is looking for two so if you only want sex with her and that's it then she might want a relationship.

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CrazyCat wrote: »
    You may just need to give the course a bit more time. How long u been on the course now?? You may learn something once you have been there a bit longer but I wouldn't give up as you wanted help with your social skills to begin with so this could be some use later on.

    How many people are on the course?? Have you had chance to speak to them about how you feel?? Remember that everyone is there for the same reason and no one will judge you.

    I just think you need to give it time. Once the course is over you can then take charge on what to do and see what works for you. I know there's nothing what might not he working yet but in time there will be something.

    This course will do you good and maybe from what we have said to you, can put things into consideration.

    The course is one-to-one, hence I haven't met anyone else who is on or has done the course.

    Unless the course progresses to a more intermediate level, it's pointless for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought the course was a group one? That's surprising.

    What's your tutor like? Do you get on with her

    I know you said your not learning right now but I think it's about giving it time because of you give up then your still gonna think to urself that you need something which can help with your social skills so its worth seeing.

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought the course was a group one? That's surprising.

    What's your tutor like? Do you get on with her

    I know you said your not learning right now but I think it's about giving it time because of you give up then your still gonna think to urself that you need something which can help with your social skills so its worth seeing.

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hope that helps

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you asked if there are group courses instead? It sounds like it's the sort of thing that would benefit you more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »
    Unless the course progresses to a more intermediate level, it's pointless for me.

    You need to understand that it isn't going to start full on Straight away, just like any class or course you do you get eased into it.
    Give it time


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why are you looking for serious women when all you want is sex?!
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