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The average age of first sexual intercourse in the UK is 16. How do they get sex?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As stated in this BBC article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/1phBvGyDZ0gTsht2HjJk7z3/virginity - the average age for first sexual intercourse in the UK is 16 (not 18 as someone on here repeatedly claimed). How does a 16-year-old boy get laid? Does he ask his girl classmate for a shag after school? When I was 16, most of the girls at school either had sex with older lads or didn't have sex at all. If you were an average-looking or below-average-looking boy, you didn't even get a kiss, no matter how good your social skills were. I'm puzzled how the average 16 year old boy gains vaginal access. They don't drive, they don't wine and dine and they're not masters of seduction - yet they've mastered the ability to get sex.

I don't know why the link isn't working for me - I've copied it exactly from the BBC site.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1) Don't get hung up on statistics.

    2) I'm ready to bet that the bulk of these people were in functional relationships (I was). Good looks don't equal sex. People are generally not that shallow.

    3) Is this thread going to be another regurgitation of advice?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At my school, the only boys who got sex were the good looking ones, regardless of personality. Good looks gained vaginal access.

    What does the average 16-year-old boy understand about getting sex that I don't?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »
    At my school, the only boys who got sex were the good looking ones, regardless of personality. Good looks gained vaginal access.

    What does the average 16-year-old boy understand about getting sex that I don't?


    Maybe your average 16 year old treats girls with respect and like they're not just there to be fucked. He probably understands that they're human too
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »
    At my school, the only boys who got sex were the good looking ones, regardless of personality. Good looks gained vaginal access.

    What does the average 16-year-old boy understand about getting sex that I don't?

    I can't bring myself to believe this. They were probably the only ones who boasted about it. As for your second question - probably how to treat people and form human relationships. But again, is this going to be people repeating themselves?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Note also that 16 year old boys will make up and say anything if it makes them look cool in front of their mates
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My last message was only meant to be posted once; there must have been a malfunction.

    I know that girls are human, but that doesn't mean that they don't want sex. Most people have casual sex at college, so they do want sex-only encounters. They meet at a party or nightclub, then shag minutes later - no dating, let alone wining and dining or buying presents are involved.

    I've tried treating girls with respect - they still don't want me. Tell me what specifically I should do or say to show respect in a way that gains me vaginal access.

    Most 16-year-old boys (certainly those who are underclass or working-class) are not respectful to girls. Most of them do see girls as sexual objects; that doesn't stop them getting sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unfortunately Adam there are no specific rules or things to say as every sexual encounter takes place within the context of two individuals relating to one another in a moment of time. That relationship, even if it's only for a night, has so many variables and depends on those two people being attracted to one another and wanting the same thing.

    From my experience some people I knew at 16 had had sex but many hadn't and this was often down to differences in their personalities, their beliefs, their values, self confidence etc. It also depended on different friendship groups and the kinds of things they did in their free time.There are just too many variables and different experiences.

    You may not have had any luck yet but that doesn't mean to say that treating girls with respect and getting to know them first wont lead to success in the future.

    I think when you ask for black and white rules it puts people off as we are all complex individuals and our choices around sex and whether we have it or not are very personal to each of us in that moment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never said they didn't want sex, I know girls want sex. I said you need to treat us as humans and like we're not only made for sex. These 'sex only encounters' you're speaking of aren't only sex only encounters, they'd have been at college together, they'd have some form of communication and friendship. They'd have that level of communication and a form of relationship.
    Stop referring to it as 'vaginal access' for a start. We are more than just vaginas.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How is this going to be different to your other threads? You've got other issues that need to be sorted out first before you even consider sex.

    And please start treating us like humans. We're not just someone for you to fuck. We have feelings too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    And please start treating us like humans. We're not just someone for you to fuck. We have feelings too.
    This. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    These 'sex only encounters' you're speaking of aren't only sex only encounters, they'd have been at college together, they'd have some form of communication and friendship. They'd have that level of communication and a form of relationship.

    Often, they have sex on the same night they meet. Most of them go to parties in order to meet other students with whom to have casual sex. A student doesn't know everyone else who studies at the same college. When I was at college, no girl would even talk to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    Often, they have sex on the same night they meet. Most of them go to parties in order to meet other students with whom to have casual sex. A student doesn't know everyone else who studies at the same college. When I was at college, no girl would even talk to me.

    Realistically most of them go to parties to drink too much and socialise, not just to get laid. Sex isn't on everyone's mind as much as it is on yours. I'm not saying a student knows everyone that studies at the same college, but more times than not they do know the majority of people at the party. They tend to go to parties with people from their classes, so they're more likely to be mutual friends or aquaintances with the people that are there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »
    Tell me what specifically I should do or say to show respect in a way that gains me vaginal access.
    .
    :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    Realistically most of them go to parties to drink too much and socialise, not just to get laid. Sex isn't on everyone's mind as much as it is on yours.

    Untrue. The main reason that boys go to parties is to find girls to shag; sex is on all of their minds during every minute of the time they're at the party. Socialising and alcohol are a means to facilitate that. Sex is the goal.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    :yeees:

    I ask this because I've shown respect to girls on many occasions and did not get so much as a peck on the cheek, let alone sex. Meanwhile the most obnoxious thugs got plenty of sex without trying. As very often said, nice guys don't get laid. Mick Philpott got laid loads of times - and still would do if he were not in prison.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    Untrue. The main reason that boys go to parties is to find girls to shag; sex is on all of their minds during every minute of the time they're at the party. Socialising and alcohol are a means to facilitate that. Sex is the goal.


    oh my god. You're so oblivious to the fact that you could be wrong, it's ridiculous. You don't listen to the people that are in these situations, the people that are having sex and the people that are going to these college parties. But obviously you know what's going on even though you're not part of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Again Adam, do be careful about speaking on behalf of all men or all women - some people might go to parties to try and hook up, others might go just to hang out, meet people and have fun.

    Hiccup is sharing her experience and it is valid :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to remember that some people will lie about things like having sex at a young age, having with a lot of people, etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    You have to remember that some people will lie about things like having sex at a young age, having with a lot of people, etc.


    This is worth taking into account.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    I ask this because I've shown respect to girls on many occasions and did not get so much as a peck on the cheek, let alone sex. Meanwhile the most obnoxious thugs got plenty of sex without trying. As very often said, nice guys don't get laid.


    Just because you respect girls does not mean they owe you a peck on the cheek or sex. They owe you nothing. You really need to realise this.

    Nice guys do get laid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    oh my god. You're so oblivious to the fact that you could be wrong, it's ridiculous. You don't listen to the people that are in these situations, the people that are having sex and the people that are going to these college parties. But obviously you know what's going on even though you're not part of it.

    I have listened to many people who've gone to college parties and had sex at them - my own acquaintances, academic research and documentaries - sex has been the goal of all the lads and most of the girls.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    Again Adam, do be careful about speaking on behalf of all men or all women - some people might go to parties to try and hook up, others might go just to hang out, meet people and have fun.

    Hiccup is sharing her experience and it is valid :)

    The whole point of parties is to get laid - everything else (alcohol, music etc.) is merely there to facilitate it.

    I'm not claiming that most/all lesbians go to parties for sex - I know very little about lesbian life as I've no motive to find out about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    Just because you respect girls does not mean they owe you a peck on the cheek or sex. They owe you nothing. You really need to realise this.

    Nice guys do get laid.

    You and several other people here have claimed that showing girls respect is the way to get a lot of sex.

    It's very well-known that nice guys don't get laid. Virtually every 40-year-old male virgin is a nice guy. Young offenders institutes are full of teenage absent fathers - burglars and muggers get sex with loads of girls; nice guys don't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    The whole point of parties is to get laid - everything else (alcohol, music etc.) is merely there to facilitate it.

    I'm not claiming that most/all lesbians go to parties for sex - I know very little about lesbian life as I've no motive to.

    Oh lord, you're so wrong. The only time a party is merely for sex, is if it's a party focused on sex. Birthday parties are not solely there for sex, house warming parties are not solely for sex. Parties do not equal sex.

    Why on earth are you bringing up the lesbian thing? I don't recall mentioning being a lesbian.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    You and several other people here have claimed that showing girls respect is the way to get a lot of sex.

    It's very well-known that nice guys don't get laid. Virtually every 40-year-old male virgin is a nice guy. Young offenders institutes are full of teenage absent fathers - burglars and muggers get sex with loads of girls; nice guys don't.

    You have to respect women in order to get sex yes, but respecting women is not the only thing you need to do to get sex.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    Oh lord, you're so wrong. The only time a party is merely for sex, is if it's a party focused on sex. Birthday parties are not solely there for sex, house warming parties are not solely for sex. Parties do not equal sex.

    Why on earth are you bringing up the lesbian thing? I don't recall mentioning being a lesbian.

    All parties, except for those held for children and the elderly, are primarily for sex. A birthday, Christmas, new year etc. are merely excuses to hold a gathering for sex. Parties do equal sex in the minds of all of the male partygoers and most of the females.

    You've stated that you're female. You've mentioned having had a girlfriend and it was clear that you weren't talking about a female friend. Your icon is in the LGBT colours. You're bringing it up, not me. You give the impression that you're a lesbian (or at least bisexual).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    You have to respect women in order to get sex yes, but respecting women is not the only thing you need to do to get sex.

    How do you explain Mick Philpott's sex life? He has antisocial personality disorder. He repeatedly stabbed one of his girlfriends, for which he was convicted of attempted murder. He subsequently had loads of sex with loads of women.

    What are the other things that need to be done in order to get sex?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »

    All parties, except for those held for children and the elderly, are primarily for sex. A birthday, Christmas, new year etc. are merely excuses to hold a gathering for sex. Parties do equal sex in the minds of all of the male partygoers and most of the females.

    You've stated that you're female. You've mentioned having had a girlfriend and it was clear that you weren't talking about a female friend. Your icon is in the LGBT colours. You're bringing it up, not me. You give the impression that you're a lesbian (or at least bisexual).


    No they're not though, they're really not. Not everyone is as obsessed with sex as you are, everyone else knows there's more to life than sex.
    I've not mentioned it once on this thread or most of your other threads? my Icon is in those colours bc they stand out on the black. Don't assume things. Even if I am a lesbian, I still go to parties with straight people believe it or not. Nobody ever has sex there..
  • plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    I highly doubt one's Sexuality influences the experience at a party. Some people may have sex, but seriously, not all parties have that goal in mind.

    You say you are presenting academic research here, but I have several issues with this:
    No data on this subject will be empirical, the subject you are researching will generate subjective results as opposed to say, a chemical experiment where the outcome can be specifically proven. Therefore, you cannot completely discount the evidence we are providing for your hypotheses.
    Secondly, you are lacking balance in your arguments. You will be reading some things which present your view that nice guys can't get sex, parties are just for sex etc however I'm sure there will be plenty of counter arguments elsewhere.

    I doubt reasoning with you will help, but put this way maybe you'll understand.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiccup wrote: »
    No they're not though, they're really not. Not everyone is as obsessed with sex as you are, everyone else knows there's more to life than sex.
    I've not mentioned it once on this thread or most of your other threads? my Icon is in those colours bc they stand out on the black. Don't assume things. Even if I am a lesbian, I still go to parties with straight people believe it or not. Nobody ever has sex there..

    Everyone who goes to parties has sex on their minds.

    You know that they're the colours of the LGBT flag and you've expressed pro-LGBT views in other threads. Hence you're identifying with that community. I don't care how much lesbian sex you have or don't have. My point was that you likely have little knowledge of heterosexual desire.

    No-one has sex at any of the parties you go to? If true, that's bizarre; but you aren't in all the rooms at the same time so how do you know? In addition, many partygoers leave with someone they met at the party, then have sex with them.
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