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literally at rock bottom

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 19 and through high school i was always sort of trouble. Didn't get good grades, barely graduated, didn't really care about anything but partying with my friends. When I graduated I had some jobs but I'd always quit because I'd rather have all my time open to hanging with friends. It sounds so stupid and pathetic and I feel like no one will want to offer me advice. I just don't have anyone on my side.. my mom hates me. She won't even look at me and calls me a whore every chance she gets. I had an abortion last year and i feel like she'll never forgive me. But even before that we never got along. I tried to kill myself after the abortion and failed….. then this past year i had a good job and was sticking with it and i was really proud of myself. then one day i quit for no reason? after working 60 hour weeks for them for 8 months. whats wrong with me? all i care about is hanging out/drinking/smoking with my friends. it gets me no where. now I'm homeless/car-less/jobless and I've never felt so depressed in my life. i could go on and on about more depressing stories I've gone through but i don't think anyone will want to hear it.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey srsly lost,

    I'm really sorry to read about some of what you've been going through. It all sounds incredibly tough.

    There's a lot going on for you at the moment and from what you've said, it seems like everything's been building up for some time, reaching a point where you're struggling to go on. Does that sound right?

    I can imagine that feeling alone can only make everything seem even worse, so it's great that you've reached out here :)
    This is a non-judgemental place, so we're more than happy to listen and talk with you. Just so you know, we're a UK-based site meaning we might not be able to advise you on services in your local area (I'm guessing you're based in the USA?)

    Given there's so much going on, do you think it would be helpful to break things down a bit? What would you like to focus on first?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Srsly, im sorry to hear about how much a difficult time your having at the moment. I know this isn't easy for your mum or your other family who know about this but its not for you two.

    It sounds like this hasn't just been a short term problem but a much longer one to figure out. There were a number of things you mentioned including always been bad ever since I was young, didn't do well at school, never stuck with a job, had a baby at a very young age and have fallen out with family.

    However, can I just ask wether or not you had a stable up bringing when you were younger? Has there been anything in your past whats effected you in a way of getting in trouble?

    You could think that there are a few issues going on here which has remained with you right to this day and this by all means isn't your fault to not know what the problem is for this to happen.

    Have you been to see anyone about some of those problems you mentioned about from the above? If not do you think speaking to a counsellor might help to have someone there for you?

    Please remember you have us two but there are other people who can help further with your needs longer term.

    You might want to have a look at some of these websites in case you need support or help in anyway...

    www.mind.org.uk

    www.theshelter.org.uk

    www.thesalvationarmy.co.uk

    www.thesmartians.co.uk

    Employment

    The National Careers Service

    Connexions Direct

    DoIt.org.uk

    BeInspired.org.uk

    Emotional Support

    The Together Trust

    The Crisis Team

    The Mental Health Team

    Relationships

    Relate - relationship counselling

    Brook - relationship and sexual counselling

    I hope that helps x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry Srsly I didn't know you were from the USA. Ignore the website and helplines I gave you as they wouldn't be any help to you.

    Theres a website in the USA called Reach Out and theres another one called 7CupsOfTea Its similar to The Site but its more based in the USA and they can hopefully advise you on further help and support for you at the moment.

    You could always speak to the doctor wether you feel they maybe to help in some way. That maybe the best thing to start of with.

    I hope that helps x
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